It Does Not Happen That Way
I’m still surprised at how many people join Connecting Singles believing that the love of their lives is going to drop into their laps over-night. That only happens in fairy land.
They don’t seem to realize that to find a partner here, you need to market yourself in a proper way just as you would in the real world? Those who cannot find love in the real world, won’t find it here either. They will only open themselves to scammers.
Some try too hard, some are too desperate, some are too full of themselves, some are too placid and some others are just too full of shìt. You have to find a balance in your assault. You cannot hunt a whale with a bow and arrow and you cannot shoot sardines with a harpoon.
Telling everybody how desperate and lonely they are will only solicit a little sympathy… and not even much of it which makes me wonder what they really want; sympathy or a partner?
And by shooting into the bunch, hoping for a random hit by indicating that just anybody will do, is rather lame and will achieve even less. All of us want to be special; chosen, not just another somebody picked in random fashion.
While it is true that CS creates many more opportunities to meet people, you will not get it on a platter. CS only creates the platform from where to operate but when the opportunity presents itself, you have to make the best of it.
Yet, getting the attention of the opposite gender is not that difficult. There is no need to be extravagant in anything; actually most people don’t like that. To use that worn-out cliche; just be yourself. The average woman wants an average man and vice versa.
If you are neat, not standing out too much in the crowd (being dead normal) and dressed to the occasion, somebody of the opposite gender is bound to show some interest in you no matter where you are; be that a disco, a charity function or a church bazaar. The world is full of single people looking for somebody to share their lives with; all we need to do is to look around to see them.
And I repeat, cruel as it may sound, if you cannot get somebody in real life, it is unlikely that you’re going to succeed here.
A wonderful day to all of ya!
Comments (37)
Hello Catfoot
Of course it can be done!. You only need to use the right bait. What did you use?
I suppose when you hook a big one like your arty, you need to use a gaff. I hope you did not damage his gills.
(.) (.)
Don't be so mean.
Catching someone by the collar and asking if he loves me or not is really easy. Fling or a fit, I'd know from the start.
I have no doubt that many people do get hooked up here. It is a minority that come here expecting miracles.
Good bait!
of course you can find love here. what I said is that if you cannot make it it real life, it's very unlikely that you'd find it here. Unless of course if you tidy your act up.
A profile pic does not make people look desperate. It's the things the say in their blog. We had a perfect example of that last week. That was desperation to the 3rd power times pi squared. And I can almost feel sorry for him because he probably ruins his prospects like that in real life as well.
but them you're a woman. you are more likely to be headhunted than a guy. We have to make work of it if we wish to succeed. Women do not often make the first move in real life, and even if they do, you still have to do it right or she'll vanish as quickly as she arrived.
Men have the harder job before the relationship begins.
Women have the harder job afterwards
that seems to be a fair distribution of responsibilities; is it not?
The longer it lasts, the more uneven the distribution is
You make it seem like a one night stand is the ideal relationship.
I don't like to hunt woman all the time. I prefer one that will linger long after the flavor is chewed out of the gum.
that is no maybe. but positive thoughts is not enough. We need to do positive things as well. but yes, it all starts with positive thoughts.
But I like negative women as well. It quite pleasant to develop them in a dark room like an old-fashioned Kodak film.
Or maybe a lot of one-night stands with the same person, so it never gets stale
International dating sites and sites in my native tongue are a different story. Completely unknown people you have nothing in common with contact you because they liked your photo, you never know what their intentions are, if they are real or not, the conversation is forced and artificial... I remember once spending 2 days on 'Tagged' and deleting my profile faster than I made it.
Forums are different from dating sites. People have the opportunity to meet each other in a more relaxed environment. I used to be a member of several forums in the past and met some nice people there - in real life, too. It's different when you start exchanging messages with someone whose posts you read on the forum - it's like you know them already, at least a little. Even if you didn't like their posts much - they are still familiar. Not complete strangers.
In reality - if you want to meet someone - you have to go out and - meet new people.
For example, on forums and blogs - write what you feel like and what interests you and you will meet people. Of course, you can pretend, you can act, you can write what you think people would like to hear, you can try to be manipulative or controversial or whatever you want - and that would give you MORE attention, but in the end - not REAL attention. The more genuine we are - the better.
The most important thing is not to have too big expectations. People are sometimes disappointed with the choice they have in their surroundings and expect too much from online dating/friendships. We can certainly meet many interesting people this way, but - after all - most people on such places are average like us and like those in our surroundings. At least, those REAL people. Many people online don't have good intentions or have some serious problems and that should be kept in mind.
I wrote and wrote, but I didn't say much with this, did I?
At least what you write is always clear and legible
Clear and well presented. I don't think I can differ from you. And I think your English is very good.
I wish it were, I think life would be much simpler
But I like the feeling of being in a real relationship
Ah, I'm back!
I prefer the commitment and above all the sense of belonging. I think deep in our hearts we all do.
I won't know. I seldom read profiles and in the rare cases when I do, it certainly won't be a man's profile.
A standard built in accessory (with a mike) on most laptops; along with Bluetooth and WiFi..
if people want to see me, they can see me in real life, or not at all
I am just stopping in for a minute! Interesting blog you have.
Puzzling to me, I don't really understand some people.
the funny thing is that I have never yet met somebody who I first saw here. Oh, I already knew a few I ran across here but that cannot count.
At one stage there were probably more than ten of us. Wonder where they went?
Maybe! They met their match on here or there. Then off C's, they went!....
Of course there is somebody else but we prefer not to talk about that part of the family.