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Well....Yesterday I was at the Hospice where Linda was and when I was there...It seemsd that her eyes might be open just a Hair...so I asked the Nurse about the way she looked and she came in and told me.."Shes awake..she can hear you"....So after the Nurse left.I sat there feeling awkward as to what to say...I held her hand and began by talking about the way things used to be and all that and laughing after what I said as if she was laughing along with me(She never moved)..But for some reason I found it odd that after all this time (never opening her eyes)That she was awake(so to speak)for the only time in 2 weeks....I stayed with her for 3 hours...Her pillow was all wet and I had to get the nirse who told me.."Thats what happens when they are in this condition...So I held her head as the Nurse changed the Pillow case and then put a Towel over the Pillow.........When I moved her head..her eyes opened wide for a split second...And her mouth moved...but no sound..........I stayed with Linda for as long as I could...But I had to go(I had borrowed a car(Truck broke down) and I had to get it back...I kissed Linda on her forehead as I always did and I left..(Not knowing she was hours away from the end)....I just got the call from the Hospice 30 minutes ago...Linda has finally passed away(Was just getting ready to go see her too)..Poor thing...To have to die from starvation and thirst(And all Thats left is the Memories of watching her daily die in this way......I never want to or will be a part of watching someone die in this fashion ever again....."May God Bless you and take you with him Linda".."Youll always be "My Little Sister"............But its strange that she was awake for her final hours for me......Scary and Haunting it will always be............"Some where somehow..Ill find you Linda"...(those were the last words I said to her as I was Leaving).....And now shes gone.......And yes Ken........Im crying like hell right now...................(A 2nd or 3rd opinion and she possibly could still be here now)....But...Shes gone........(Happy Hollidays)(Not this Year)......

Family is the most important thing anyone can ask for.

HEAR YE HEAR YE!... ITS PAR-TA TIME
IT'S HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ANGEL!... You are indeed such an sweet angel and I love you dearly for who you are! May the Lord bless you with many years to come with good health, prosperity, as your soul also prospers in the knowledge of the Lord...

Ok, e'err-body let's get this PAR'TA on the road!
Love you ANGEL AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

I have much clearer feeling about love. Love means responsibility. I love my daughter,if there are good food, I could watch her finish most parts until full, I could work day and night to make sure that she will have a nice start in life, a good education for her future.

If some guy who loves me,I want us love and cherish each other. That is a good way to take care of love, and the love also enrich our life.

Love is not a easy word,are you ready for it?

Having ice coffee with jelly from McDo is my favorite drink in a hot day like today.... My friends came and we decided to use my car then we drove to Boko temple, a temple that built for female where in its gate there is a V-image- near to Prambanan temple here in my home town.

We went and sit in panoramic restaurant for having a finger bites snack. From its terrace, we could see the peak of prambanan temple appear from the cloud.... Amazing... While behind it, standing the mighty Merapi mountain saying hi to the sun.

Our meeting is special. Four women who has the same interest and talking here there about sex psychology...

And I just know that women can produce minimal of 8700words per day while men produce a maximum of 2700words per day !!!

So men.... Just in case you ever questioned why women love to talk, this could answer your question.....

Have a good day everyone.....

Happy birthday dear Minerva....

Wish all the best for you....

Please keep healthy and happy...

I wish I could send you a horse as a gift as I know that you love them..



I love you..

But first tell me, what you want in your stocking? You better get your order in if you have not done so yet. Oh yes, Santa told me that an exceptional large number of people were disqualified this year for being naughty. So if you were naughty this year, don’t bother with the stocking. Sorry, he did not elaborate on what classifies as naughty.

Hmm, what do I want? Now that’s a tough question. I have more or less all the things that I want; well, at least those that I can afford. What I still yearn for is too expensive and too bulky to expect in my stocking. I believe Santa’s budget has been rather tight during the last few years.

It is very unlikely that anybody is going to buy me a red Lamborghini therefore I expect to get the usual shìt; deodorants, aftershave, underwear, socks and so on. These are all items that I’m very fussy on and I’ll probably pass it on to somebody else in the end.

And that brings me to the problem of what to buy for my father. He really has everything he wants. But even when he was younger I never knew what gifts to buy him. With my mother it was easy; flowers was always a winner with her but as she requested no flowers on her grave, there is no need for that anymore. But this does not bring me any closer to a solution.

So what do you buy for a 90 year old man whose only wish is to go softly in his sleep? I don’t know why he wishes for that because he’s still good for a few years. He enjoys a good lifestyle, has a special girl friend (I wonder if they do it ), plenty of other friends, plays Bridge once a week and he still drives his own car..

We have been nagging him for a few years now to get rid of the car but he responded by buying a new car earlier this year. So I cannot even buy him a new set of tires; they’re almost brand new.


Anyway, bottoms up - enjoy whatever you're doing!

I got up this morning and while drinking my coffee and watching the news a commercial came on showing a mother with child and dad walks in the door and the little boy runs to his dad..then on the screen comes BEING THERE.I remember years back another commercial that would come on late in the evening saying DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR KIDS ARE.Have we came to the point now that we need tv to tell us we are family or you have a family ..I remember as a young kid one thing I knew was that evening we would be at the supper table together and when I woke they would still be there,{now that was the days of family},,I know that divorce is at a high rate in the states but yet you can still be there for kids. Don't really know what I am trying to say here but thought, have we came to this..tv has to remind us we are family

I think I will call my family just to say hello, I love you

My dad’s girlfriend is history. On Sunday, while my sister took her on a tour through the garden, I happened to find myself in the bedroom where she left her handbag. This was by sheer coincidence. She had been very careless. Her handbag was open and her ID book had slipped out.

I used my phone to take a snap of the contents. To prevent people from snooping in her bag, I put her ID book back in the bag and closed it. Now, was that not very thoughtful of me?

With her ID details in our possession, we learned that she was using her middle name. Not too out of the ordinary, but we also learned that she used a different surname. That was suspicious enough. Well, so we thought.

No sooner were they gone before we climbed on Internet. My sister logged on to the credit bureau with her employer’s password. She got permission to do it – providing we pay the normal fee. A credit check revealed that the strange surname that she used was her maiden name. We still had nothing on her. And then we hit the dirt under the section on spouse details. Spouse details? Yep, there was a husband.

My sister called the husband, pretending to be a friend, asking to talk to his wife. He said that she’s visiting her mother and should be home in about an hour or so. When asked where the mother was, the answer came as no real surprise. She was in the same retirement village as my father. Bingo!

We decided to pay my father a surprise visit, hoping that she would still be there. Alas, she had left, but when we presented my father with the evidence, he admitted to ‘helping’ her few times with her car installments. He said that she promised him that she will pay him back. Like hell she would. Well, she is going to do it now. I’ll see to it. My father was wise enough to make electronic payments directly into her banking account.

Anyway, not too much damage done and my dad is fine; only a bit pissed off with himself. If anything, this episode just brought the three of us closer – if that was possible at all. For the first time ever, he discussed his will and his financial position with us. No nasty surprises there.

I took him to the airport last night. He’s going to visit an old friend in Gauteng. No, he won’t be asking her to marry him, but I suppose hoping can do no harm.

I can understand why most of you thought that I’m meddling in my father’s private affairs. I would probably have said the same if it was not my father. It is easy to talk when the problem is not close to home but I’m sure that if it was your father, you would have acted the same as we did. Blood is thicker than water.


Sit tight! Tomorrow is Friday!

Wowser! A few weeks back my brother Johnnie had another stroke. He's has several since then and he is in pretty bad shape. He's blind in one eye, confined to a wheel chair and the usual paralyzed side.

My sisters here in California are making plans to get back to Colorado if necessary. I will not be going back because I simply do not like to attend funerals because the inevitable looks very likely.

I know I have stated this many times but my family was very dysfunctional. Most of them were bullies and me being the youngest one I usually got the muck from them. It was not pleasant and for that reason I stayed away from them alot.

This brother used to call me all kinds of demeaning names. One was "snafu". He used to call me a "sissy" which in the late 40's was akin to being called a "fag". The irony of this bullying turned out to be against him as 2 of his son's were gay.

One day when I was 14 I bought a razor because I wanted to be cool and shave. He walked into the bathroom while I was "shaving" and he ridiculed me and said to me, "What are you shaving for. You'll never have a beard". Hah! I had the last laugh because I have a full beard something that my bully brother never had.

All of this has crossed my mind and I have been pondering it not to laugh or feel smug about anything but only to understand that in the last few years, and I mean about 3 or 4, we have finally made peace simply because they have mellowed out. My brother and sisters are not as mean and surly as they used to be. And now that we are old, me being the youngest I am 74, we are finally close.

I think alot about my brother and I just wish we had been better with each other.

Again, I am stating this just to get my thoughts in writing.