Most Liked Holidays Poems (355)

Djinn, gets power from wishes, but always twists them to hurt the person wishing for something, then steals their soul, the one who releases a Djinn can grant him power over all souls if they ask three wishes.

Leprechaun, gets his power from his gold coins. If you find one of his coins, you get any wish you want, but the Leprechaun will try to kill anyone who takes his gold.

Gypsy( From Drag Me To Hell), can send you to hell in three days if she curses some object you own. Up to being dragged into hell, you will be tormented by demons who show up randomly and more often the closer to your departure to hell.

Pinhead, has the power to take you to hell to be ripped apart by giant fish hook attached to chains. He can only harm you if you open the box, with the help of his fellow Cenobites.

The Blob, starts out as a small bit of goo, but grows bigger as it eats more people. It is able to completely eat a person in seconds as it completely covers them and then begins dissolving their victims.

Damien, this child has the power of evil and will kill anyone who might harm him. Being the son of the devil, he will grow up to destroy mankind.

Alien, after attaching itself to a human host, the alien will pop out of the victims chest and then molt a few times to become a big killer with acid spit, protruding teeth, and a whip-like tail.

Bad Parents
Jealous Coworkers
Minimum Wages
Endless Overtime
Bad Working Conditions
Illegal Aliens
Rape and Murder in Dubuque
Depression and Suicide
Poverty
National Debt
Jerod and Cosby
Jeffrey Dahmer, Ed Gein, and Manson
Wars around the world
Every president since I've been born
The Cash Store, Security Finance
Casinos and Compulsive Gamblers
Overpopulation
Invasive Species
NAFTA
Hell and the wrath of God

I will be getting my turkey next week
I have the bag to cook it
I already ate pumpkin pie and mashed potatoes and gravy
I also want to get sliced turkey at the deli
I shop at Walmart and Piggly Wiggly mostly
Sometimes I shop at ALDI's
I ate some cranberry sauce
I don't like real cranberries
I have some stuffing left to make
Some people are vegan
I know I should eat more vegetables and fruit
I don't like to see animals suffer, but I love meat
KFC doesn't treat their workers or the chickens nicely
But I love to eat there
It is the time to be thankful
I will be thankful for my turkey
I will be thankful for my family
Even though they are very hard to be around
Mostly I will be thankful for four days off work

Thanks for making a road for me to drive on
Thanks for the good songs I listened to on my drive
Thanks to the people who made my car that gets me around
Thanks to the guy who drove the gas truck so I could fill up my car
Thanks to the mechanic for fixing my oil leak
Thanks to the hockey players who risk injury for my amusement
Thanks to the zamboni driver who cleans the ice between periods
Thanks to the woman who made my chicken the other day
Thanks to the chicken for being tasty
Thanks to my snails for making many babies for me to look at
Thanks to the earth's tilt so we have seasons like fall and winter
Thanks to the clouds so the sun didn't hurt my eyes on my drive home
Thanks to the librarians for getting me movies, music, and books
Thanks to this computer at the library so I don't have to spend money

I am the only turkey on the planet that does stand up comedy
Hey bartender! Can I get a drink over here?
Give me a vodka giblets!
Put that on my bill!
Last night I met a couple of chicks
Now that's what I call a turkey sandwich!
Then I found out one of them was pregnant
Boy, did I have egg on my face!
I guess the yolk was on me
I husband is engaged with lascivious sex with a dead turkey
The exhausted husband looks up and says, "How am I doing Honey?"
The wife says, "No, no, no, I told you to pluck the bird!"
I got only one thing to say to all you hungry humans out there
Eat me!

I haven't gotten beyond this Bah Hum Bug!
I really haven't
And it is because I know I need to be more generous
I need to make my own transformation
I wish sometimes I did own a company like the one I work at
I wish I could double their salary
I wish I could provide them with a comfortable temperature
Health care would be free so a person didn't have to worry
About financial ruin because of high insurance premiums
And low benefits
The workers would be happy to come to work
The overtime would not be allowed so they could rest
And spend time with their family
So that we, all of us could truly say God bless us everyone!

Is a true Christmas really about Santa and Toys
Or is it about Angels singing with great Joy
Elves dressed up in bright clothes and tights
Three Wisemen following the Bethlehem starlight

Shopping elbow to elbow with strangers
Our Lord and Savior Jesus born in a manger
All about flying reindeer and sleighs
Or the promise of our sins being taken away

Lights, partying and food galore
Celebrating the coming of our Lord
A man dressed in red that’s a myth
God giving the World his greatest gift

Receiving a bunch of gifts and having fun
Thanking God for giving his only begotten Son
Is Christmas totally and completely material
Or about being forgiven and receiving Life Eternal

Christmas Wishes!

May your Christmas tree be adorned and topped with an Angel of heavenly joy!

Sprinkled with snow flakes and streamers of ornate garland wrapped around your Christmas tree

Beautiful Christmas ornaments festooned throughout
It’s boughs!

Strings of colored bulbs all aglow

Silvered tinsel and garland draped over branches
With gifts of love placed beneath the tree!

Tis the time of hanging of the Holly,
kisses and gift giving!

May the Christmas Spirit dance with you
Throughout the Holidays!

“Merry Christmas”

Spirit of Christmas Poem
written by Santa’s Helper

JimEee

So nice to see
All the Christmas gifts under the tree
But what about the ones that don't fit under the tree
The ones that really mean a lot to you and me
A full tummy full of good food
A special song that puts me in a good mood
A kind word from a stranger
The baby Jesus in the manger
Earlier this month we had Christmas snow
Lighted houses that bring that holiday glow
Time off from work
Donald Trump and his comments that make me want to smirk
Larry David's impression of Bernie Sanders
Coleslaw from Colonel Sanders
Star Wars and Daddy's Home
A friend talking to me on the phone
All these things and many more
Give me hope that you can't find in a store

Scrooged When the ghost of Christmas present kicks Kross in the groin.

Home Alone When the pizza delivery driver thinks he's actually talking to a madman who is shooting him.

Home Alone 2 When Buzz is making fun of Kevin with the candles behind his ears.

Fred Claus When Fred is panhandling by dressing up as a fake Santa and gets busted by the Salvation Army Santas.

Four Christmases When Vince Vaughn is acting like Joseph at the church.

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas When the Grinch is checking his outgoing message on his answering machine.

Beavis and Butthead When the ghost of Christmas future shows Beavis his tombstone and it says "Here Lies Beavis, He Never Scored."

The Santa Clause When Santa(Tim Allen) is told by the little girl to drink the milk and he says he's lactose intolerant.

A Christmas Story When Ralphie loses it and beats up the bully and goes on a swearing tirade.

Night of the Meek(Twilight Zone) When the store manager asks for Santa to give him Brandy, vintage 1903, and Santa gives it to him out of his majic sack.