Will I go down in the annals of history?
I know not, to myself, I remain a mystery
For who would ever long remember me
When I myself cannot even recall or see
I can only guess at what I used to be like
When I was young did I smile on my bike?
In my youth did I have a wondrous dream?
Now I can only sit and hear my scream
Were you there, did you give me your affection?
I cannot dwell, my mind has no reflection
I can only recall life in glimpses and snatches
I snuff it out like all the dead matches
At least I cannot pay for all my sin
For I do not know where it did begin
For I am trapped in a shell with no meaning
I can only stare wide eyed at the empty ceiling
My body is strong but my memory is weak
But I am aware that my future lies bleak
Some say mental blindness is a trick of light
But I seek the switch of hope and fight
I smile simply to return your pleasing grace
You seem kind even if I do not recognise your face
My mind does not see you so I have no resent
Did you come today or were you a stranger sent
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: May 2010
About this poem:
The terrible affliction of memory loss, either by illness or age, such a terrible thing to happen!.
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Alone with my Lymphoma my senses have grown,
A complete change of focus, some new seeds sown,
Mother Nature called out with magnetic support,
“Take note of my beauty and your ills I will sort”,
On a woodland walk in the country I went,
Saw a fox disappear as he picked up my scent,
Had it not been for that I may never have seen,
That beautiful rainbow through the bows so green.
I even enjoyed the mist on my face,
It put a shine on the foliage to enhance the place,
I can’t recall admiring scattered puddles before,
But these were shiny mirrors on the forest floor,
When I gaped inside to study the view,
I realised my life was turned upside down too,
Nature was helping much more than I thought,
Because of the awareness to my senses it brought,
Suddenly! the noise of a hawk in the air,
It swirled and swooped as I stood and stared,
I could only admire how he patrolled the skies,
While ultimately plotting some rodents demise,
From these simple studies I absorbed much relief,
Sights, scents, and sounds surpassing belief,
They kept me from pondering on things like my death,
When my thoughts should only have been my next breath,
Later the moon rose behind a thorny hedge,
As a trout in the river engulfed it’s final sedge,
Time to wander home now from this place that I yearn,
Tomorrow back to Nature and more lessons to learn.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Apr 2014
About this poem:
I wrote this in 2004 when Lymphoma returned
for the 2nd time. In desperation I turned to
Nature for a cure ! I'm still here.
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At first the enemy struck and I felt weak,
Pointed needles stung, future bleak,
A shroud of grey draped hairless skin,
Hiding fear and loneliness deep within,
Dreary clouds roamed darkened skies,
As icy winds burned tearful eyes,
Then slowly...Heavenly Light appeared,
In golden beams that quelled my fears,
Thoughts of losing summoned strength,
To battle back and not relent,
I have now found peace inside the war,
Therein lies my victory roar,
Emerging from my trench to brave the slant,
Prognosis seems irrelevant.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2013
About this poem:
Written in defiance of Cancer.
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Staunch message to all, delivered with stealth,
A wise old proverb..."Your health is your wealth",
Terrified at the start, thought I wouldn't pull through,
Began penning a verse, for my pulpit adieu,
Bruised and depleted from chemo injections,
A pale hairless body fuelled naked reflections,
Such penetrating fear in my children's eyes,
As I hid the truth, in my happy disguise,
Strangely I decided for me I'd not weep,
Instead to find courage, my spade to dig deep,
Never to lose hope or Never to give in,
No more thoughts of ending, only begin,
Not 'till all glimmers of life have long ceased,
And my rancid remains lie a cold crawling feast,
Even then my spirit will survive in a poem,
My soul still intact through the verses will roam,
You'll never hear me whinge or show any regret,
Nor will I celebrate, if reprieve I beget,
Defiant yet resinged in ankle chains to be...
Always cancer's prisoner, ....but today I walked free !
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jun 2014
About this poem:
Recently I had a worrying health scare
but thank God all tests and scans were clear.
I wrote this little poem in the hospital car park.
I need to say......
It was Cancer that made me write so without it
I wouldn't be part of this lovely family-like corner.
Thanks for all your reads and comments.
Special thanks to "C" for kind support ,
and "L" for prayers.
Onwards and upwards..........Mick.
Post Comment
A regal sunset or a surreal moonrise,
The cry of an exotic bird from the Amazon,
The thrilling energy of a carnivore disembowelling its prey,
The smell of ozone in the air after a thunderstorm,
A cup of strong organic coffee shared with a close friend,
Johnny Walker, Black Label,
The touch of a baby, reaching out to its brand new world,
The soft look your beloved gives you just for the hell of it,
The explosive combo of flavors of a coconut-sprinkled, sizzling-hot curry,
Mail in your CS inbox[provided its not from a damn scammer...],
A funny episode of ‘King of Queens’,
A sleek young horse in its prime,
The dew on a new-born flower,
The proud breast of a fair young maiden,
A five-point lobster in a five-star hotel,
We could endlessly go on, couldn’t we?
Why don’t you post some of your own ‘good things of life’?
Vaya con Dios...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jul 2010
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Thoughts wrap
around life bones
like ligaments
keep the parts in
relation to the whole
supple for flexibility
like tendons
bands of fibrous tissue
connect muscle to bone
carry tensile forces
produce movement, fluid, propel.
Hierarchical structures
difficult to quantify
nonlinear, viscoelastic behavior
difficult to analyze.
Then come you
the fall, hard.
Stretched, twisted, bruised
soft-tissue damage, great
body fluids puddling
mixing with blood.
Breaks are clean
even compound ones
reset and repair
periosteum and
marrow cells
replicate and transform
cohesive strength
returns
good as new
memories not as strong.
Severe soft-tissue damage
where layer upon layer is torn
requires a much longer time
to heal.
***
How is it with injury
one forgets how to move
forward
left and right
down and up
making small adjustments
in the circles of life?
Though exercise is painful
immobilization is the enemy
of healing.
Baby steps, the current goal
moving unassisted in a
straight line, with little pain
no crutch to lean on
moving forward step by step
hoping
tomorrow
there will be dancing.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jun 2011
About this poem:
Soft-tissue damage...much like damage to the broken heart.
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Lost, lost in a place that I thought I knew so well,
The fog has descended,
My footsteps muffled,
Not the vision I saw yesterday as clear as a bell.
The cure that worked before, no longer works,
Visions of yesterday,
Are broken dreams of today,
And in the dark shadows, the black dog lurks.
I may shake and cry, though hide my tears,
Think of other things,
Take one minute at a time,
The black dog just laughs and feeds on my fears.
When I’m not good, I fight this battle every day,
Praying for tomorrow,
Getting through today,
Wondering, how many times for yesterday, I have to pay.
See, the fears are so intangible,
Can’t grasp,
Can’t sort,
They’re there though, dark, invisible.
Then, one day I wake up free,
No worries or fears,
It’s a clear blue morning,
I smile, maybe have a coffee…
I laugh,
And….For a while again….I’m me!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jul 2011
About this poem:
It's not often I write something like this, but decided to as it is a subject close to my heart, not talked about, and often swept under the carpet.... Bi-polar disorder, is a very horrible thing, and is a lifelong battle, and you have to be strong enough, always, for the next round...Thankyou...Andrew...xxx
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All you who are in the whole of your health,
Would you ever swap with me in remission ? No ?
You probably think it would shorten your life,
But neither would I swap with you,
For I know that remission has lengthened mine,
I briefly stared into the merciless eyes of the reaper,
Perhaps therein lies the difference.
Do you ever hear yourself breath ,
And savour every single breath ? I do !
I suspect you love Spring flowers....
But I know that I must adore them slightly more.
I wouldn't pluck one for I would see it as a death,
But I would smell them on bended knee,
and not complain about my damp stained pants........
I would only remember the scent !
I used hate the interruption of my alarm in the morn'
Now it is the sweetest sound.....
like a song-bird in full voice on a leafy branch,
pleading for a handful of crumbs.
It's almost eight years now since
my last passionate kiss.......shocked ??
Or you might ask........Why ??
It's because I remained true.....that's why !
We're divorcd a year now and that picture
of us on the wall ........is now just a nail........
Yes I am gulping as I write.......
I'm not too proud to cry,
It's sad, it's raw, it's true... it's gone !.....but hear this.........
"I have risen from those cold cinders",
My next kiss (should there be one) will be special.....
...because the way I feel right now...
I would nearly kiss a stone wall .
You can bid me respect if you wish.......
but please don't show me sympathy or pity,
I abhor those two words !......for these lines are not penned in complaint...
but in Appreciation of life......another chance....
I stride positively forward now..somewhat sorrowful...
but extremely determined !
Thank Heavens for remission !
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: May 2014
About this poem:
Different entry than the norm,
I just needed to say it out !
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Under the casuarina tree
where the sand meets the sea
and the gulls drift in the breeze
as they live a life of ease
where the whitecaps show the way
of the wind having it's say
and different colours allow the sea
to show the depths there may be
and the clouds march along
the horizon big and strong
where the warmth of your touch
relaxes me so much
i feel the coils unwind
as i leave the week behind
and drift into that place
where time has no grace
amidst my thoughts and dreams
i am relaxed and so it seems.......
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Mar 2014
About this poem:
spending the arvo relaxing ...........
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online today!
I want to write a poem
But I'm not sure if I should
It's about the process of aging
And the effects which are not so good
Anyway, here I go and
No matter what you may think
The time will come when
Your health will not be in the pink
Your skin will start to sag
And wrinkles will appear
It's a natural process
One which you should not fear
Your body joints which once had
A lot of flexibility
Will begin to tighten up
And cause you pain and anxiety
Your ability to focus
And to multi-task
Will weaken as you age
And become a thing of the past
You may find yourself asking
Did I do that or not?
For your sake I hope
That does not happen a lot
Some folks reading this may say
Such things will not happen to me
In response I say to you as you age
Let us just wait and see
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Feb 2023
About this poem:
effects of aging
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