Most Commented Limerick Poems (105)

tonight in your dreamy R.E.M.
you may see the crème de la crème
an image of the exact mate you wish
not a bumblin' clown or too devilish
a perfect match without a blem...ish

© agoodguy2have 2010-05-12

There once was a girl from Glamorgan

Who went on a site to find more men,

But when she got there

They had nasal hair,

So now she's a lesbian mormon.

There once was a girl from nantucket
With load of chickens she'd truck it.
To market she'd go
And she'd say you must know.
I'll sell one but I ain't gonna pluck it.

Summers ending hold on

not so fast, there is still time

to enjoy while it lasts

grilling, games, sunning

and summer concerts in the eve

eating outside and walking about

don't be in a hurry enjoy while it lasts

for winter will come as we turn away

from the sun so enjoy today

for tomorrow will come

I WON A POETRY CONTEST© by Barbara Cronin Harrington

I entered a contest, surprised I had won
Along with another thousand and yet some.
Only $50.00 to buy the leather bound book,
With my poem in it was to be the hook.

Proud t'was I to see my poem in print
Before I recovered, a new email was sent
With yet another offer…my name upon a plaque
Only $70 was the cost… but quickly must I act.

But that was not the end of it,
My poem was put to sound
On tapes, CDs and books galore
For just a hundred dollars more.

Though the price was mighty high
The benefits were worth the try
I'd read my winning poem aloud
amid a cheering thunderous crowd

Before I could respond and write a big fat check,
There was still more… the biggest yet,
News so great, it was music to my ear
I was now named Poet Of The Year.

And this is the winning poem…

I went for a pizza and to my delight
Stood Elvis before me, all rhinestones in white
Stunned, I was speechless but finally said,
"My God, Mister Presley, I heard you were dead!"

"How rumors do fly," the pelvis did say,
"I had it with work, so I just slipped away
Got tired of show biz, cavorting and swinging
Of women and booze and carousing and singing."

"Off went my sideburns, my hair I dyed white
Went on a diet until fifty pounds light
Wore a gray flannel suit that came with a vest
And sat in the park, as birds will attest."

"I soon became bored and worse than that, broke
For I needed to work and that was no joke
Filled with depression, my destiny blue
Until I remembered what best I could do."

"My swivel and wiggle reborn with a grin
When my pasta is tossed in the air with a spin,
My spirits elated, I no longer feel low,
So now I make pizza...I'm rolling in dough."


EPILOGUE

Shocked was I to see this guy
Who some believe had long gone by,
Rumors abound that the hipster t’were found
And he wasn't six feet underground

Twas just by luck, for the very first time
That I should learn of a contest to join
So I entered Elvis, and would you believe won,
Along with a hundred thousand and then some.

f*ck you, I hate you

There's a forgetful old broad they call Babe,
She can't even remember her age,
But she knows she had fun
When she was young,
And she remembers how many she's laid.

I know a woman from Texas
She already has five eX.s
They could not perform
What she considered norm
She's using a vib for her erectus

Jack Spratt was terribly fat
His wife was more obese than that,
They had a fight
Most every night
As to who got the food for the cat.

Wake up to my magic world that I would make
I can see you beyond my imagination
Oh my love; release me from my prison to your world
I would sense you in my soul
Oh my love; fly with me above my imagination world
I would feel your hands in my cold soul
Sun shows me the road to destiny, come with me
I've lost in my world, bring my soul to the sun
Find me; Release me; Guide me
Wake up in emotional winter by my hands
Feel with me; Fly with me; Come with me
Hello and welcome to my world!
Be my sun; Be my moon; Be my star