Most Commented Limerick Poems (105)

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There once was a girl Emily
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She was dumped by her sweetie
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And, she cried all night
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And, she prayed all night
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She prayed, “Thank God saved me from STD!”(HIV)
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I once did a SEXY questionnaire
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Question one: mention size you desire

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Question two: short or long?

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Three: thick or strong?

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Shame, they didn't have me samples to compare!

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P.S. It's about men muscles lol

I once had a friend try to borrow
My money with tales of sorrrow.
And so he did say
I need it yesterday!
"No Problem! Just ask me tomorrow!".

There once was a woman named Kate
Who came to CS for a mate
Poet’s Corner she found that day
and here she decided to stay
Now, with poems she goes on a date

I’ve just seen a ‘flying saucer’ honest, speeding ‘cross the sky.
I knew it was a ‘saucer’ because the pilot was a funny looking guy.
He had a smile upon his face as he looked when passed me by.
I gave him a wave with both my hands and signalled him to stop.
But he just waved back and winked at me with that one enormous eye.

There once was a senator named Ron Paul
He said we had to do something about the law
The taxes were too high, they should go away
The poor and the old should pay their own way
Instead the rich fat cats made a hellova haul

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity.

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Coworkers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......

Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.

Its Called therapy.

There was an old boy from East Grinstead
Who said "I'll disgracefully grow older instead"
Of joining some Club
Where the members all blub
About having to gargle with Rinstead.

I want to say thank you for always being around
For even on a cloudy day....when all is not quite right
You lift me up in thoughts...from dark... to shade... then light

Sometimes I take myself off..into a magical trance and there I can imagine us together
arms intwined.... sharing a lovely romantic dance

Of course you are blistfully unaware when i shyly, quickly glance,
or maybe even dare to stare
For you're my guilty pleasure...no ...........not really there...
as in this little mind the rules I sometimes bend
For clearly in reality............you are really my dear friend

And, oh what a really cheap date I am !
No need for fancy restaurants...you can just take me to the gym
For then I can feast my eyes upon you..................... ...
as I surely get in trim

Or ,we can go to the park if you like......no cost ... whilst the air is still free
but please let's take the quite path...alone, just you...
just me

Now do please ask your other lady friend's. ..if they'd patiently wait in line
Cause..right now, right here ,in my little world............
their friend.......is all mine :))

wave after wave seasons change an the winters fade into the summer sky's ,where the seagulls fly an there hunger cry's like dreamers from a different time ,where dreams never live or never die drifting away it seem far beyond the wildest dreams ,with your eyes close follow the stars nothing else to say drifting away.......