cantbetamed71 Forum Posts (901)

RE: WHAT KIND OF MOVIES DO YOU LIKE?

I love the old Hollywood classic movies like Gone With the Wind, Casablanca, Wethering Heights, It happened one night, etc., etc, just love the classics!!!!! Nothing better!

RE: Who will like to be my friend & Why???

Because nobody can have too many friends...hows that for an answer!

RE: Communication

yes.......I do agree.......great topic!!!!!!!! Once again B Master, you have hit upon all the points!!!!!!! You put it all into perspective so well.

Breaking up

A Marine stationed in Afghanistan receives a letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:

Dear Ricky,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love,
Becky

The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies.

There were 57 photos in that envelope... along with this note:

Dear Becky,

I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.

Take Care,
Ricky

Men,Men,Men...

I like em'...

Comeback lines

Oh yeah feeling great just looking at the funnies today thought I'd share..lol

Men,Men,Men...

A Few Facts About Men
1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

4. Men are very confident people. Guys are so confident that when they watch sports on television, they think that if they concentrate they can help their team.

5. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

6. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

7. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

8. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

9. All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.

10. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

11. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.

12. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

13. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."

14. Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

15. If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

16. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause - you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

17. No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

18. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

19. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.

20. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.

21. Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

22. If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget... he didn't lose your number... he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.

23. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you... I want to marry you... I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.

24. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

25. Men forget everything; women remember everything.

26. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened

Osama

Oh well..........what can I say can't please everyone!!! Just ME!!!! LOL

Just foul!!!!!!

What you don't know, wont hurt you, but this one it sure is worth knowing. I used to work for an envelope company. Our plant supervisor used to work in the Chicago plant and told us not to lick the envelopes because they would often find dead rats at the bottom of the glue barrel (after thousands of envelopes had been glued and shipped).

I work in a factory and we have 2 employees who used to work in an envelope factory. They told me that when the machine jams up, they use whatever water is handy to thin out the glue. This includes water that they just mopped the floor with. Since then, I've avoided licking envelopes!

A woman was working in a post office in California. One day she licked the envelopes and postage stamps instead of using a sponge. That very day the lady cut her tongue on the envelope.

A week later, she noticed an abnormal swelling of her tongue. She went to the doctor, but they found nothing wrong. Her tongue was not sore or anything.

A couple of days later, her tongue started to swell more, and it began to get so sore, that she could not eat. She went back to the hospital, and demanded something be done. The doctor took an x-ray of her tongue and noticed a lump. He prepared her for minor surgery. When the doctor cut her tongue open, a live cockroach crawled out! There were roach eggs on the seal of the envelope. The egg was able to hatch inside of her tongue, because of her saliva. It was warm and moist. This is a true story reported on CNN.

Blonde

Hey lets not generalize here.....

Osama

Osama Bin Laden himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message: 370HSSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.

No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA.

With no clue as to its meaning they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for help. Within a minute MI-6 cabled the White House with this reply: "Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

Comeback lines

Comeback Lines To Pick Up Lines
1. Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

2. Is this seat empty?
Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

3. Your place or mine?
Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

4. So, what do you do for a living?
I'm a female impersonator.

5. Hey baby, what's your sign?
Do not enter.

6. How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Unfertilized

7. Your body is like a temple.
Sorry, there are no services today.

8. I would go to the end of the world for you.
But would you stay there?

9. If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Blonde

She Was So Blonde...
1. She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate".

2. She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

3. She got stabbed in a shoot-out.

4. She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK".

5. She thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.

6. She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

7. She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

8. She tried to drown a fish.

9. She thought a quarterback was a refund.

10. She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

11. If you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back.

12. They had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.

13. Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."

14. She tripped over a cordless phone.

15. She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

16. At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here".. she put "Sagittarius."

17. She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

18. It takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

19. If she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.

20. She studied for a blood test ...and failed.

21. She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.

22. She thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.

23. She thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

24. She sold the car for gas money.

25. When she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted., she went home and got 16 friends.

26. When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

27. She thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.

28. When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

29. When she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.

RE: If love was a flavor, what would it taste like?

Chocolate...because it is sweet, decadent and once you have tasted it, you never forget it!!!!

BBQ

A couple had been married 15 years. One afternoon they were working in the garden together. As the wife was bending over pulling weeds, the husband said, "Hey, honey, you're getting fat. Your butt is getting huge. I bet it's as big as the gas grill now."

The husband, feeling he needed to prove his point, got a yardstick, measured the grill, and then measured his wife's butt. "Yes," he said, "just what I thought, just about the same size." The wife got very incensed and decided to let him do the gardening alone. She went inside and didn't speak to her husband the rest of the day.

That evening, when they went to bed, the husband cuddled up to his wife, and said, "How about it, honey? How about a little action?" the wife rolled over and turned her back to him, giving him the cold shoulder.

"What's the matter?" he asked

To which she replied, "You don't think I'm going to fire up this big gas grill for one little weenie, do you?"

Things to Ponder???????

Questions You Ponder During Life...
1. Do you need a silencer if you are going to kill a mime?

2. Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

3. How does the guy who drives the snow plough get to work in the morning?

4. If 7-11 is open 24-hrs a day, 365 days a year why are there locks on the door?

5. If a cow laughed really hard, would milk come out her nose?

6. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

7. Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

8. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

9. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

10. If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

11. Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

12. If you have your finger touching the mirror that says "objects in mirror are closer than they appear," how is that possible?

13. If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

14. Why does your nose "run" and your feet "smell"

15. Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

16. Why is it called a "building" when its already built?

17. Why do they call them apartments when they are all stuck together?

18. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

19. How can someone draw a blank?

20. What is another word for "thesaurus"?

21. If 75% of all accidents occur within 5 km's of home, why not move 10km's away?

22. When they ship Styrofoam, what do they ship it in?

RE: Do you thinks, You could find Love online....??

If you are receptive and willing you can find love anywhere and without even looking. Stop looking so hard and open your eyes to all the possibilities.....love is where you may least expect it.

RE: "i'm scared to fall in love

It would depend on what context he was saying you are different. If it is subtle differences then that is OK, but if it is something profound then that would be an issue. Profound differences are something that the two people would need to discuss in depth and see if they could work past those differences. Some differences are not able to be overcome such as a partner doesn't want to marry and you do, doesn't want children you do...etc, etc.

You can't MAKE anyone fall in love with you because everyone has free will. You can do things to "entice" someone and make yourself look more appealing, but if you are only doing this to impress the other person and it's not who you truly are then you are lying to both yourself and your partner, deception never works.

Is It Better...

To have lost and loved than never to have loved at all?

RE: im all loved up

Good for you!!!!!! Congrats and I wish the both of you all the love, luck and happiness, now and in the future!

RE: Human cloning....

I am totally for the use of genetic cloning but only in the realm of organ, tissue, nerve replacements...to clone a human is to close to playing God.

As I stated before I do believe that there needs to be one governing body at the healm of cloning otherwise it will very likely fall into the wrong hands.

No it wouldn't neccessarily have to the the "government", and I certainly wouldnt think that "W" would set up a panel of experts when his administration all but shut down the R & D cloning projects.

Saying those three little words

Great minds think alike....still wonder what to make for dinner tho'...

Saying those three little words

What's for dinner???????

Just want to see how many people will enter this thread and what did they expect when they saw the topic?? LOL

RE: Human cloning....

I would think the government would want to be on top of this issue, but putting together a panel of "experts" that would govern the practice. The government would almost certainly be involved so that this practice wouldn't as you say "fall into the wrong hands".

In your opinion Chele, who should be responsible for overseeing human cloning, if not the government than who? We can't assume that just by leaving it into the hands of science that practice of cloning would be safe.

RE: Why do so many declare their "undying" love

Spontaneous blurting is the problem.

People naturally want to share their good news and happiness, but I think 3 weeks is a bit premature to name it "undying love". In my experience this is more than likely the initial stages of a crush/lust and not the real thing. People might be optomistic in their feelings or just a bit emotionally immature, who knows.

Yes, I believe if I found someone on here I wouldn't be blurting it out to the high heavens until I was absolutely 100% sure, and even then I'd be hesitant. Because I've seen what happens in the forums when people come on and start gushing about their feelings, some things are better left private..JMO

RE: If u could choose .....

1 characteristic: Intelligence

1 physical: Bedroom eyes

RE: An early morning thought put to words

AAAAAAWWWWWWWW..Ice that is just too sweet!!!!! You are making me all weepy and mushy today!!! Just beautiful and reminds me of appreciating things in my life a little bit more. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, very intense!!!!!!

RE: do any of you ever think you will be settled down before the year ends

I am open to the possibility of anything. I would love to be settled down and stable with a person but I have no idea whether that is actually going to happen or not, whatever will be will be.

RE: Do u think before

I've always spoken my mind but I do try to temper it with some thought before blurting it out.

RE: How the words we say affects others..

Well said, I made a thread about just this very thing yesterday too.

I agree totally! Kindness doesn't cost a thing and is very underused.