I could find it in my heart to love a child whether or not it came from my heart or my body. I love children and it does effect me to know that there are little one's out there who have no place to call home all over this world. To me it doesn't matter the loaction, the nationality, the gender........children are all innocent and should be able to know love, stability and protection of a parents love. It's just sad to know that there are children in poverty, abusive homes, and going to bed somewhere in this world tonight on a street somewhere in a box, laying on dirt, wherever..it breaks my heart.
I'm a BIG proponent of adoption and have thought seriously about it myself once I get out of school and get my finances in order, I'm all for it.
I've been single for the past 7 1/2 years dated here and there but basically my marriage ended because we were two different people with two different dreams and goals. We parted company and that's the way of it.
Yes love can be hard to find because if you actively seek it, it will allude you. Love is kind of like the butterfly because if you chase it down it flys away but if you sit quietly and still, it comes and lands on your shoulder. I know I can be waxing a bit poetic and I can be a real dork, but the harder you look for something the less chance you have of finding it,especially when it's right under your nose.
This may sound corny but I try to find the smallest joys I can daily whether it be in my daughters smile, a kind word from a friend, just being thankful to be alive, be getting my education and that I am who I am.
and what good would it do to kick his *ss when it will probably backfire on you, make you look childish and insecure and those two qualities are something that you never want to display in front of a woman. It translates to jealousy and violence and those are BIG TURN OFFS for me and most other women.
Violence begats violence..you know who said that..lol. However, that said, I must comment on this thread. IF this woman loves you and knows that you feel conflicted about her "befriending" this potential rival then she should do whatever she can to allay any misgivings you may have. She can't control your reactions and she can't control your emotions anymore than you can hers, but if you are both committed to this relationship then you together should be able to compromise and come to an understanding that doesn't involve you and this "other" man to come to fisticuffs.
1.) Is he marriage material? No the first thing I wonder is IF he is married....lol
2.) What would he be like in bed? I wonder if his kisses will take my breath away and that would then let me know if he was bedable material or not...you can tell a lot about a man's passionate abilities just by that first kiss.
3.) What's in his stock portfolio? Not me, I just wonder if he has a J-O-B
4.) What issues he may have? As long as the man doesn't have more issues then 20 women put together, I consider that to be a plus in my book! LOL
Etc.....what else does a woman wonder when she meets a man, well if I let those secrets out then there wouldn't be anything to keep a man on his toes and on his BEST behavior now would there. Somethings you just can't reveal! Sorry...lol
Cupcake...it's not a bad thing and it's not terrible to look back at past relationships and to be glad that they have ended for whatever reason. It's also completely natural to reflect and realize the lessons you have learned and the experiences that have led you to be the person you are at this moment in time. If we didn't have experience to rely on we would keep repeating the same mistakes over and over and never learn the lessons in life that will lead us to make better decisions in the future. Give yourself a break it's natural and far from terrible, girl, it's NORMAL! LOL
I followed Princess Diana from the moment I heard of her on the news. It's every little girls dream to see the fairytale and to be a "real" princess, I was enarmored with her from the get-go.
I remember seeing the coverage of her wedding, the births of her children, and her tragic death.
I believe she had a special gift to reach out to those in need with her compassion and selflessness. I watched her grief as her marriage fell apart and realized that even though she was born to wealth and married into privelege this woman knew pain and suffering just as anyone else.
The world lost a great humanitarian and her son's lost a loving mother.
You just seem to like everything Puerto Rican now don't ya Andree?!! LOL.
Check out some of the ethnic areas in New York I'm sure you'll find a gorgeous Puerto Rican girl for ya..or head down to Miame, FL, I hear they are all over down there.
Thank you to you all for the advice. I am glad to see that I'm not alone in my thinking.
It's just trying to convince her that she doesn't need to lie to keep this man, she isn't a bad person I believe in my heart she's very confused and scared to be alone.
I've tried pointing out all the good things you can do while you are alone and told her that being alone isn't the worst thing in the world. She just doesn't seem to hear me or be able to see past the situation she's presently in.
I have to tread carefully on this one because i don't like being put in the middle, but as a friend where else would I be??? If a friend needs me I'm going to be there for them right or wrong, because that's what a friend does. I just don't like being the "secret" keeper because it puts me in a bad position and I don't want this guy coming after me PO'd and hellbent.
I will take everyone's suggestions to heart and ponder what to do and how I'm going to go about it. I just didn't see things very clearly last night but today is fresh and new and things can change for the better if she will let it.
Thank you very much to everyone who responded, I appreciate your advice and wisdom more than you know.
Yes I would want someone to tell me if they knew something was hidden from me..w/o a doubt.
I should elaborate..my friend is carrying around a deceitful lie she told her fiancee.
She didn't think about the repercussions obviously otherwise she would have stoped herself cold before she did what she did.
Her fiancee isn't exactly the "world's best" if ya know what I mean, he's got a mean streak in him.
I have been over the details in my mind again and again..there is no way out for her and no other alternative but to tell the truth..but from 10,000 miles away.
I'm afraid for her safety if he finds out just exactly how she's decieved him. I believe her motives were good at first but things have escalated and gotten out of control.
If I tell him what I know, my friend is going to get beat and that's why I ask if it's even my place to try to intervene. He has a horrible temper and yes she lied, but I can almost see why she did it. She does need to get away from him, but she's in the mind frame that she can't live w/o him.
I hate seeing this go on and I just don't know what to do or if I should even do anything at all.
I guess what I am so conflicted about is this: Is it my place to say anything at all? This girl is my friend and I know her very well, but she's going through some major issues right now. If I say something I will definently lose her friendship, but the issue is between her and a second party.
I accidently found out some very damning information and I hate carrying this around.
I don't know if it's the guilt I feel or just wanting to unburden myself but I feel like a real SH** for keeping this secret.
I just don't know if I should even mention anything I know, but if I don't and someone winds up hurt or worse then I would feel extremely responsible and horrible.
I know something about a friend and it's not about the cheating on the bf...she's playing a game w/ fire and I'm afraid she will get burned badly. I could say what I know to the other person, but there's no guarentee of how he will react towards her once he finds out the extent of her deceit. It makes me shudder and fear for her safety, that's why I've not said anything because I have genuine fear for her outcome in this situation.
Hypothetical situation.....here goes...seeking advice for a friend
I Know it's a lie first of all.
IF..big if here.. If you knew someone was lying about something pretty serious but was lying to spare someone's happiness, is that wrong???
If I go into detail I'm afraid I will get more judgement calls than I would advice but I can give an example...
say a friend knows your bf is cheating and says she doesn't know anything, she's lying to protect her friends feelings and protect her happiness.
That's NOT what the situation is about but just to give an example off the top of my head that's all I could come up with.
I guess the basic question is: Would you lie to protect someone you love from pain? How far would you go to protect someone you love? What is the ultimate thing you would sacrifice or do for the one you love?
I knew that and so do the captains of ships too! LOL..my opinion is and I wish I would have put it in the earlier post..if "they" made it as hard to get married as they do to get divorced I wonder if that would change anything? Just wondering if someone had to go through 5-6 years of counseling, preparation and everything that would be the equivelent of a divorce..would marriage still be as popular and would the real divorce rates diminish at all?
Taking an antihistime medication will relieve some of the darkness if you have allergies.
Also another good sleep aid is St. John's Wort..walgreens is good for this.
Check out Prescriptives make up isle also at walgreens there is a compact that has 4 different colors of cover up make up for flaws like the pink is for undereye darkness, the yellow is for redness and so on and so on..I use this and it works wonders.
Sleep is also the best remedy I can think of...try giving the child some warm milk and maybe cheese or turkey contain chemical I can't think of that makes em' tired...or just drug em' with some benadryl..lol
OK, having weeded my way through this thread..here's my two cents for whatever it's worth.
My first husband was my best friend before we got married and after we got married I lost weight to please him (I thought I would anyway) and then he got very overbearing and controlling. He made me completely miserable our last 3 years of marriage accusations, spying, insecurity..you name it, the man had it all!
The one thing I've never let him or any other man take away from me is my ability to love someone. I may have been hurt and may have failed at my marriage but that doesn't necessarily mean that I will never find the one person out there that's truly meant for me.
I haven't ruled out the possibility of being remarried again because after all I love being in love and love the whole process of falling in love..short and sweet..I'm a hopelessly, mushy, silly, goofy romantic at heart.
I want the acknowledgement that comes with being married to the man I love, I want the world to know that I am his wife, I want to be by his side not behind him, I want a partnership, to be an equal in all things and the man I would marry would have to feel the same. And who says i don't have impossibly high expectations right?? LOL..I can dream and hold out for that person, I've got nothing but time and the rest of my life to find him now don't I?
As far as marriage why do it? Simply my question would be why not? Besides money if you knew there was nothing to lose..........why not do it?? Seriously if you didn't have to worry about the money or financial aspects because that's what almost everyone on here has mentioned.
So if money weren't a deciding factor would you still inherently feel the same way about marriage?
My question to you would be this then???...Do you have regrets about the choices you made?
Lena is happy and if she's happy that's the most important thing.
Just because one has a baby in no way means that life is over, it does however mean that life changes. Some changes are for the better and some take getting used to. The 2 am feedings, changing diapers, the extra laundry, the stretch marks, etc, but in my experience the first smiles, the first laugh, the first sweet smell of a newborn baby's head, the softness of that little finger as it coils around your pinky, the trust in the baby's eyes, the first "I love you", the first steps,..hell the first,the last and everything in between are the MOST wonderful things a woman can ever be lucky enough to experience. At least that's the unabounding joy, love and happiness that I get from my children.
As far as education..well where there is a will there is a way to accomplish anything and believe me nothing is a better motivator than wanting to make a stable, steady, secure life for your offspring. It can be done and women are doing it every single day.
Maybe your life might not have worked out as you'd planned but dont' spoil her joy she's happy and again it's her child and her life...she just wanted to share a happy experience w/ us!
Congrat's Lena....I share in your joy and wish you a healthy, beautiful, lovely little baby and for you to have a healthy uneventful pregnancy..hope it's all smooth sailing for ya! Keep us posted as to boy/girl and all that good stuff~
The past can be a learning experience, the past can be bittersweet, the past can be something one wants to forget or the past can be something that someone lives in because they are afraid to see the future.
The past is what it is past and we can't live by the mistakes we made or didn't make, we have to learn to go on and accept things for what they are and that's how someone moves forward into a better future.
If a man had moved me to where I knew in my heart of hearts that he was absolutely the one for me then I wouldn't care how or where, I would travel to infinity and beyond for that kind of true love (I know the line to infinity and beyond is a bit Buzz Lightyear but hey it works!LOL) Just to know that at the end of my journey there would be a heart full of love and a pair of waiting arms would make it more than worthwhile.
I believe that if two people truly do love one another from the depths of their heart and soul that yes a love can be considered pure.
I believe that when you meet the "one" person you are meant to be with, that the connection will superceed anything physical and it becomes something entertwined in the hearts and souls of those two people who share it.
Love should be sacred, protected, nurtured, nourished, sustained and appreciated. You should tend to your love like it's a garden, get rid of the weeds and keep it cultivated and it will grow and flourish!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe I sound a bit waxing poetic but I truly do believe that love exists and everyone who wants it will find it whenever and wherever they least expects it.
If a person is lucky enough to find this kind of love in a lifetime I believe it's worth any sacrifice in this world to preserve it! These are simply my feelings and don't reflect the feelings of anyone else but me...
cantbetamed71 Forum Posts (901)
RE: I Want.
a dounut from Krispie Kreme and an even sweeter man to share it with!!!!!!!