On this side of the pond a claim has to be made within a two year window from the point of injury.
If the accuser is making a claim for psychological damages, as well as financial, that might date from the first action of the accused or his reaction to her protestations, if his reaction was unreasonable, or perhaps bullying.
The claim might date back to her first internal complaints. Given there was an internal investigation into the accused's behaviour and then her potentially unfair dismissal, that process was likely over a lengthy period. A period of time is then required to prepare a case for a law suit to be served.
Two years seems a reasonable time frame for all of that to have happened to me, Ro.
I'm getting to be Gugu more than I'm having to be mum these days, which is better for all of us and how it should be.
The transition of roles from daughter to mum and mum you grandmother doesn't happen overnight and I've found it a difficult path to walk when my girls needed me to both, but oscillating between the two according to their needs. I didn't always get it right.
Credit is due, however, to the positive influence of my daughter's relatively new fella who is also a parent. He's the Golden boy as far as I'm concerned for many reasons and my girls adore him.
I scold him regularly for stealing my girls and I get in response.
For my put-upon feet, I pad my boots; for period pains I use relaxation exercises, or heat; for surgery when the anaesthetic didn't work, I removed myself from the pain with an out of body experience.
Pain and pain relief is part physical but we have a psychological response to it. In experiments where people were pricked with a pin and asked to rate the the pain from 1-10, subsequent pain relief (subjects were given various doses of pain killer, or a placebo) depended upon what they were told would happen. So, if subjects were told the placebo was the strongest dose of painkiller, they rated high levels of pain relief, but if they were told the dose would be ineffective, even if they had the highest dose, they reported little relief.
If somebody is suffering from chronic pain and is finding pain relief ineffective, I would recommend either finding an alternative which makes psychological sense to them, or a pain management programme.
I think the case should be investigated. There'll be a paper trail for the financial stuff and there appears to be witnesses for the assault. The lesser allegation if the daytime drinking isn't stated as being corroborated, though.
I also think the internal investigation should be scrutinised and if correct procedure was not followed due to conflict of interest, then the person or persons responsible should also be held accountable for their actions in accordance with Oregan employment laws.
I think these things should be investigated in their own right as potential criminal acts. If the accuser has suffered loss, for example, her income and employment prospects as a result, she should be compensated for that.
I work during the week days and some Saturday's, my daughter works evenings and most weekends when I can be at home with my granddaughter.
For me, CS is contact with the outside world, a bit like other people put the TV, or radio on the moment they come home for the company of background noise.
I'm also a rather deaf old granny, so the written medium works well for me as means of communication.
I've learned a lot, particularly as this is an international site with contributors from many walks of life. I've come into contact with many lovely people.
No, it's not always enough, but it has been a blessing for many years which conveniently fits with my circumstances.
When we first meet people and start to develop some kind of connection, or relationship, we tend to talk about our pasts.
It's thought that by sharing our histories, we psychologically extend the time we have known each other, or perhaps put our presents in some kind of context.
It could be that you can't compete with a deceased lover, but it could be that someone is sharing a big part of their life with you.
Perhaps it would be more productive to explore your own thoughts, feelings and behaviours with respect to feeling in competition, rather than someone trusted enough to be worthy of that sharing.
The push/pull comment - I think it might have been from deedee: maybe those feelings are a good instinctual guide. Maybe there are times to back off and allow space, other times where contact and connection is right for both of you. Relationships naturally have an ebb and flow, times where the connection is intense and times where we are more insular for whatever reason.
There's a site rule where if you are suspended from the forums, or banned from the site, creating a new profile to get round the suspension/ban earns you a permanent ban from the site.
If you sit it out and wait until the suspension is lifted, or until you are able to reactivate your banned profile, you can continue as before.
I suspect pom pom has a life time ban from some years ago.
I also suspect someone must be reporting her everytime she reappears. It's not like she makes an effort to hide her identity, so I guess it's all part of the game.
Perhaps the physical reattachment of one's assets would be quicker and less painful than the emotional work required to become a less damaged human being.
It's difficult to bear that in mind when someone's behaviour is so obnoxious, hostile and rejecting.
There aren't exactly a lot of gaps where one might slip a kind word in. Perhaps some people aren't ready for that.
The trouble with this thread is that it doesn't quote the original post of the other.
It means the focus is on the dynamic of the other thread, rather than people having their say about the subject matter.
And perhaps many of us are more curious about what is going on with the thread author, than the subjects he raises.
For example, it just popped into my head that I didn't know who is behind recent replies to me on that thread. I'm wondering if the posters who tend to dislike women, or outspoken, challenging women, are more likely to have a faceless profile.
It appears to imply I might have a problem with my feminity.
I don't. I'm as comfortable with my so called feminine traits as I am with my so called masculine traits.
I don't feel a need to demand that other people have particular gender role traits and maybe that has something to with security in my own.
I delight in watching my friends and colleagues swoop between gender roles and traits because its all about who they are, their life experiences and their choices.
I'm inclined to think that anyone who demands that everyone else has to fit into some reasonably arbitrary set of social conventions, possibly contrary to their own instincts, or inclinations, is the one with the problem. The issue is perhaps with their own security and comfort with themselves.
jac_the_gripper Forum Posts (5,363)
RE: Texas shooting
I wonder why this isn't being reported as an act of terrorism, for surely it must have been terrifying.