Sometimes realizing that the person one has loved and trusted has been lying, is more than the victim can take. So they cling to the lie rather than confront the situation. In such a case, it can go on for a very long time.
Over "romantization" (is that a word?) of what "love" is all about leads to hopeless fantasies. The "perfect" match doesn't even exist.
There are always going to be some problems points of contention that have to be faced and overcome.
That's what real love is about. Not a treasure hunt for the ideal match hidden somewhere in the world.
Entire cultures have existed where arranged marriages were the rule. And despite popular myth, those cultures are not necessarily any less happy as a result.
I'm not proposing that for us here, it's not our culture. But just to say that pragmatism is just as valid a criteria for seeking a mate as romance.
Jane Austin's books are good at showing the importance of balancing romance with practical rationality.
But, with the cost of travel, LDRs have some built-in negatives. Love can conquer all, but still, it makes sense to look locally first.
The odds that one's "soulmate" lives in on the other side of the ocean are no better than if they live on the same side. Less in fact because there are cultural, financial, legal, professional, and logistical problems to overcome.
If you happen to fall in love with a foreigner on the basis of an internet relationship, well, it's too late for reason.
But it's not going to be easy, and things would work out better in many ways if you had narrowed your search filter down to a 500 mile radius or less.
If there's not a single suitable potential partner in that distance, your standards must be really high, and chances are, that love on the other side of the world is going to fall short as well once you get close enough to see them.
It's just not true to say that it shouldn't matter. It will matter in all sorts of ways. It's not impossible that it will work out, as you have proven. But the distance makes it a lot less probable.
I nearly married in Japan, in Indonesia, and in Taiwan, and I fially married a French woman who I met in Japan. So it's not like I don't believe in international marriages. But it's hard even when you both live in the same country, and even harder when you don't.
I only say that so people know what they're getting into. I wish them well in any case.
If I door closes and refuses to re-open despite all efforts, then another door will open.
It may not look like what we want. But we have to have faith that God has not abandoned us. And trust that he will lead us step by step. Even if it be through the valley of the shadow of death.
Why do some people feel it is an ok thing to rate peoples photos as 1/10? If it's possible to rate a photo as 10 then it has to also be possible to rate a photo as 1.
Personally I think the whole rating thing is a bad idea. I don't rate others' photos and I don't ask or expect anyone to rate mine.
But if people want to play the rating game, they have to be willing to accept whatever ratings they get without complaining.
Otherwise you might as well just assign every photo a 5½.
It's a non-story if you ask me. Or even if you don't.
In a world where a million children staved to death in Iraq because of sanctions imposed by the US. The death of one abortionist at the hands of an anti-abortionist can be swept aside as collateral damage. I don't support murder in any case, but if we're gonna get upset about oune murder, lets get upset about all murders. Otherwise its just hypocrisy.
That's right, and frankly, unless there is some serious prospect of a quick reunion, it's unfair and unrealistic to expect each other to forsake having any sort of a life just on the hope that one day it might possibly work out.
Love may not know any boundaries. But physical reality sure does.
Rose coloured/tinted glasses have the same effect as looking at women through the bottom of your beer glasses it distorts the view beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
X_REBEL: Hey i need a woman over here who can cook, do some ironing, take out the garbage, bring/buy me my beer, bring the tv remote, message my feet.....and......and......
interested?...just remeber to bring some money with...
Oops, the post above was meant to respond to SummerUK's post below. SummerUK
No he's back now...he works 3 months away and home 3 months. He made sure he let me know when he was back even though I hadn't replied to mail since before xmas. I got an email last week asking how I was even though I told him I was less than happy about the easter card he sent and that I didn't want any contact again. He even asked in the email last week if I wanted to meet him for coffee!!!!! Some guys just won't take No for an answer. ---------------------------------------------------------
My ex came from New Jersey and, at that time, there were no self-service gas stations in that state. So when we left there to drive to Texas for our honeymoon, when we stopped for gas at a self-service station, she wanted to learn to do it.
She got out and put the nozzle into the proper place. "Now squeeze the handle "I said". But nothing happened.
I said: "you forgot to turn the pump on, go flip that lever".
She went back to the pump, nozzle in hand, and flipped the lever.
But she was still squeezing the handle, so immediately gasoline began gushing out of the nozzle.
Surprised, and not realizing what the problem was, she said: "Is it supposed to do that?".
I shouted: "Let go of the handle"
Before she managed that manoeuver, the gas pump, the car hood, and the driveway were all soaked.
It's a good thing there was no flame around anywhere.
RayfromUSA Forum Posts (6,611)
RE: how many times do i need to lie to you..before its over??...
That depends.Sometimes realizing that the person one has loved and trusted has been lying, is more than the victim can take.
So they cling to the lie rather than confront the situation.
In such a case, it can go on for a very long time.