"proclaimed" independent women
In my opinion, when a woman “proclaims” she is an independent woman, red flags go off within me. I don’t know. Maybe this is coming from the ignorant part of me. ? Therefore, I am just curious as to what it means to be an independent woman.When a person proclaims to be somebody or something, in essence, they are making it part of their identity. For example, I imagine a woman who proclaims she is independent as not “needing” anyone to live.
Here is why the red flags go off when I hear that a women describes herself as independent. I am a man looking for a long-term relationship. I would like to be with a woman who needs me as much as I need her. Afterall, we are in a relationship. I think interdependent relationships are healthy; whereas, co-dependent relationships are not so healthy. In either case, there is some level of dependency within the relationship. Does a proclaimed independent woman see it like that? I do not know.
Take for example, if there was an argument in our relationship. Arguments happen in all relationships. Is an independent woman going to look at the situation and say, I do not need this cr*P…I am out of here? I do not know. What about if children are brought into the relationship? Is the independent woman going to think one day I do not need my husband anymore and just leave, therefore removing the father from the children’s typical family life? Most of the times, here in the States, women get custody of the children.
I do not know exactly what a proclaimed independent woman means. Are you moderately independent or are you extremely independent? I have nothing against any people and am all for equality for everyone. Does equality and independence mean the same thing to a proclaimed independent woman?
Maybe I am missing something because I believe in treating people equally; or, maybe I am just ignorant. In either case, I look forward to hearing what others think about this. ?
I will be on and off the computer and may not be able to respond to all responses right away but I promise I will respond to everyone.
I am sure there are men who claim they are independent also and I would say the same thing about them. However, I have not read too many men's profiles so....I don't know. :)
Comments (88)
We should be our own individuals, be independent, but together we should be a team that enriches each others' lives. :)
But I could not see how a relationship could exist if one person perceived themselves as independent. I must say, I have gotten a better understanding after posting this blog. Everyone has been very helpful.
Thank you for your perspective Cat.
...nice to see you here and to hear from you. What you have said I believe is the way of human nature....or the way we are accustom to. :) It seems in modern days, this is trying to be changed with some people.
Thank you for your insight.
It also depends on our own experiences, I had it that himself tried to make me financially dependent on him. That experience made me determined never to be financially dependent on someone.
I can do things on my own but that doesn't necessarily mean that I want to do so or don't appreciate someone being there and helping me.
I wonder how that would work with two incomes coming in...especially in a marriage? I would think there would be less of a burden on the man with two incomes.
I do agree with you too...about past experiences. They would certainly shape how I carry myself in the future.
I don't think grounded people place too high a value on independence. And I don't think successful people do neither. As both generally understand connectedness with others.
When I hear someone go on about their independence I think that they'll be selfish, competitive and insecure and not calm, collected and commanding.
Thank you for your comment.
That is exactly how I perceived things also.
Very well stated.
I certainly appreciate your comment. Again, another very well spoken viewpoint you bring. Before writing this blog, the same red lights went off within me also. If you read a lot of the women's responses, you will start to see there are different meanings to what the word independence indicates.
From what I gather, if a women proclaims she is independent, it may be a good idea to find out exactly what they mean by independent. That is, if you can get them to explain that...afterall, they are independent.
In addition, I love your ending also.