Artificial Friendship?
I was newly struck by the artificial nature of being online after reading the responses on a recent blog named ‘Dinner For Six’.
What particularly struck me was the way some of us – I include myself here – apologized to our other friends for not having them on our invitation lists. Others refrained from giving names at all in fear of offending friends. Is the bond of friendship online so frail that we are too scared to invite some friends and not the others?
If you were to win such a prize in real life and you had 12 friends, would you rather stay home and forfeit the prize so not to offend our friends? I think not. Would you, in real life, ask the sponsor or organizer to expand the guest list to 12? No, you won’t.
You will invite 5 friends without even having to apologize to anybody, knowing they will understand. And you will come back bragging to them about how you enjoyed the evening. After all, the prize allowed for only 5 guests and if they are true friends there will be no ill feelings.
If one of your friends got 5 rugby, soccer, opera, cinema or whatever tickets and does not ask you along, will you be offended? If you are offended then you are not such a good friend at all. You cannot monopolize your friend. Like you, he/she is entitled to other friends as well.
So why do we want to treat online friends better than in real life? Friends who use names we’re not sure about, pictures that may be fake, doing a jobs that may not be true and claiming to be where they may not be. What is so special about online friends that we want to wrap them in cotton wool?
I wonder if you could guess how much time I spend finding the right words in a comment and how many euphemisms I use; only not to alienate myself from friends… but in real life, I call a spade a spade.
True friends take much more to be offended.
Stick around. Friday is still a long way off.
Comments (134)
Not exactly to 12, but yes I would. I would ask whether I can invite more.. And in real life, I would definitely get the answer.. whether it's a yes or a no from the sponsor.
I've never been caught in this situation before and I don't think I ever want to anyway!
Honestly, I'd have forfeited the prize or just give it to someone else. Or, asked for sets of steak knives instead or maybe a toaster or two
totally. Stupid for my intruding
Sigh
And who is going to pay for them? And if all cannot sit at the same table, how are you going to decide who sits with who. What if you cannot get a booking for them on the same night?
Somehow, I doubt your logic here. What use will it be to bring more if they cannot sit at the same table? Not all places will move tables around.
That was because the Russians were not fed. They had to live off the land.
But, that's just me, I know others will beg to differ but it's ok, they are entitled to!
Eish girl, I don't understand your comment at all. I was not talking about people who did not get invited. I'm talking about those doing the invitations.
Of course it was all a joke and you should not take this blog too serious either. It is merely my thoughts that I express.
QQ is more popular there, huh?
If the sponsor say YES, then it shoud be them who arrange every thing.. I only need to give them the additional names.
Give a dinner for 6 in a posh restaurant away to a stranger?
Mimi, why do I doubt your words here?
But you know these prizes cannot be redeemed for cash. There is always some promotional value attached to them.
Somehow I don't think your plan is feasible and you may well end up being disqualified. My advice to you is invite 5 friends and enjoy the evening. True friends will understand that you can only invite 5 people.
I say....be honored for that...but learn from the lesson. Don't ever broadcast to every friend/acquaintance that you won something like this and expect people's hearts not to be affected...
It is what it is.....
I'm glad I'm the new girl! And I. Also glad my understanding is this is just internet when I come to these blogs. I love being a part of all of them...but I'd not take to seriously thinking my acquaintances are my friends. If I end up with a good friend or two on here...great...if I don't....hey...I've simply enjoyed my time. Because I've learned more.
Anyways!
Quite frankly, I think it will be very bad protocol to contact the sponsors with such a request.
And prizes are normally non-transferable.
could become...
very quickly!
Yes, you did.
Maybe but my experience with CS that by tomorrow most are forgotten and we will have just another discussion like this on another topic. We have agreed to disagree.
Just wondering what was behind your dinner??? Why did you create this event??? What did you want to know??? Interesting...
But nobody will think that you are boasting.
I am not sure why some MAY have got upset with the HYPOTHETICAL question you asked about which 5 friends would you take.
In some ways, i would say to those that complained at being left out, (not invited) may have low self esteem issues.
I along with you and some others left out some people i consider to be very close friends, and i of course would love to meet them.
To those that maybe did not want to name 5 for fear of hurting other friends, well i guess they can only answer why they didnt.
A long time ago a friend rang me at 3.00am in the morning and asked me to bail him out of jail. Without questioning him i did so straight away.
Next day, he told me that 3 other friends asked him, why he didnt call them. They were only upset that they weren't asked to help.
You must have heard of the old saying,
"You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can not please ALL of the people ALL the time".
If the friends i left off my list of 5 were angry, upset, annoyed with me for doing so, then they would be people i would rather not be friends with.
Fortunately, those i left off the list understood completely.
"Agree to disagree"....in some instances, that can be a VERY good policy!
Angry ,soft and so on ...Here...it is just black on white:-)...
You are projecting and I am receiving but through my inside,we all are different...I believe... Does it make any sense???:-)
..in my ministry the way I am helps me help
the people I work with...
Oh, it'd sound like she was bragging, alright!
She wouldn't be bragging, though, cuz...like the feller sez...
"It ain't braggin' if ya can do it...no brag...just fact!"
And she really did do it!
At least there is is something to agree about in the whole equation.
Yes, I think you have a very valid point there. The lack of emotion. No body language. There is nothing to replace direct contact and even a voice only conversation can tell you more that typing. Typing messages don't show mood or emotion.
I thought you'd be too busy with your jollies to even drop by?!?!?!?
Maybe i was being a bit harsh, maybe,
You ask "So why do we want to treat online friends better than in real life"?
could the answer be that we are online to help pass the day?, to blog and be in a world that is, (in some peoples mind separate to reality?) and that we gather here to get away from what ails us in "Real Life".
Could it be that some are afraid that if they step on the toes of others that we maybe complained about and face suspension or being banned?
Could it be, that many are here just to have fun and not be bothered by insensitive, uncalled for, unwanted comments.
Or is it a combination of all of the above?
Nothing else to do now... house cleaned, shopping done.. the girl I care for is ALL sorted and HAPPY.. My son is sorted and HAPPY so leaving a clean home with HAPPY people..
By the way... did you see you repeated yourself Cat...
See it is NOT just me
Did you type all that?
MEN settle things outside.
We all (well, most) have several friends. And no matter how we deny it, we do favor some more than other. We may not show it but it is there all the time. Some of our friends just mean more to us than others and we do differentiate. Yet we want to treat all the same online. We cannot. Some are better friends than others and that - I think - will never change. So why do we pretend that one is as important that the other?
My theory is that it is not the quality of the friends that count here but the quantity. The more friens we have, the more popular we are.