Back In the Market
Ok, I’m back in the market, but not just anyone will do. I’m looking for a very special girl. The properties I’m looking for are very hard to find. My high standards will not allow me to settle for anybody less.
I want somebody who has seen the bad side of life as well. She has to be young, beautiful, and orphaned, living in a refugee camp, somewhere in Central or West Africa, outside of her own war torn country, and coming from a very prominent political family in her original country. If her late father was a political leader or an industrialist and held a doctor’s degree, honorary or self awarded, it will be an added bonus.
However, an offshore banking account in London, boasting at least 6.5 million US Dollars, is a prerequisite, even if there are some logistic problems in securing the money. I will gladly supply my bank account and pin number in order to facilitate the transfer of money to my country. Preference shall be given to the candidate with the most money, unless if she is very ugly. But even then, it will be weighed up against her cash reserves. Money talks loudest.
I can fully anticipate that she will be in a great hurry to expedite this for I know and understand that her greedy uncles and cousins will also be trying to lay their hands on what is rightfully hers. For all we know, they may have been instrumental in the demise of her parents. I shall protect her against her conniving family.
I'm fully prepared to send to her the money for a passport, airfare, and any other incidental expenses, providing that we work through a reliable and trusted intermediary, maybe the preacher man that we find in every refugee camp. If we cannot trust him, whom else can we trust?
No, this is not about the money; I really do love her. I know she will have a wonderful personality even though her English grammar is not that polished. After all, she speaks French. The problem is that I don’t know where to find such a girl. If any of you happen to come across somebody in this position, please refer her to me. I will forever be in your debt.
Oh, if you find her, don’t keep her to yourself. My happiness depends on her.
Comments (86)
Thanks for the info. I have a way with her. I pay her with cupcakes after my next raid across the Malaysian border.
Angels' currency is $$$$ nothing else will do...
Cupcakes and few $$$ will work...
Where is she anyway?
Maybe on a Greyhound going back home. I did not see much of her since in Chicago.
Cat, Why are you back in the market? I mean... really, really?
The bus would need heavy duty springs and shocks!
But somebody will have to pay for it. In the end we will just have to suffer another increase in bus fares.
The natural reactions of people can be very funny some times.
I loved that human milkshake maker. Priceless.
But just look at the faces. If only they knew that there was 6.5 million Dollars of ransom money in there.
Have ye seen the love of my life around? I must find her or otherwise my father is going to marry me off to an older woman.
I am definitely switching from tv to blogs now and hope I haven't tuned in too late.
Brought a few goodies for the occassion.
Ah, cupcakes. Is it Mimi's new line or is it low quality imports from Babetikosweti?
Where have you been all my life. I know for the first half you were not born yet but what about the second half? Got any big bucks sitting around doing nothing. Specifically 6.5 million of them?
Word On The Streets Has It!
Eh!.....
Nope! I'm not still in Chicago. Me and my grandchild is back here now. She is going to teach me more Spanish!
Who Been Talking About Me???...
We wondered why you were so quiet and thought perhaps you were on the bus going home. It is somewhere in the comments of this blog.
Both girls are in the fortunate position where their late father, a high ranking official from a neighbouring country has left a dowry worth several million dollars, sadly the father was killed in the war.
Please contact Father so-and-so (a name that is totally unpronounceable and too long to write) at the Senegal refugee camp.
P.S. Hope this works for you.
What do you think inspired this blog?
Only they don't bother with me anymore. Blacklisted?
I guess they realized that I was just wasting their time.
(OOPS! CORRECTION.)
I hope you didn't make a mistake. And give them your Bank Account Number...
they're always so transparent. When I see a pretty young girl, unable to write proper English, I smell a rat. And when you start corresponding with them, you soon get to realize that you're dealing with more than one writer. Different styles. They work in groups.
I used to sens a bogus account number with an imaginary pin if I had to, but it seldom got to that. Normally kept them busy by inventing new excuses why the money is not forthcoming.
You're welcome. Maybe I'll have better luck next time. It's all in a day's fun.
I'm off to Lala Land.
I only woke up a little while ago. Please don't trouble me with such technicalities so early in the morning.