does it take a special person?
Does it take a special person to get married or to stay committed to one person in a relationship for a lifetime? Our nature and biology runs in conflict with that...doesn't it?When a leading female pick-up artist proclaims that "attraction is not an option" for a woman....meaning, essentially, she cannot help her self. It is in her biology...instinct/emotional...thus bypassing the logical processing of the brain. Can a man fault a woman for sleeping around?
vice versa...
A man is biologically wired to mate with as many women as he can...so I am told anyway. I don't believe that for myself....as I am truly dedicated to the one I am committed to. However, there were other women that were sexually attractive...but I was able to logic it out and determine that was not for me.
So....is staying committed to just one partner in marriage or a serious exclusive relationship a true test of one's character? Is this the way it is suppose to be? I would suspect in the eyes of some religions...yes. I would suspect in the eyes of having a unified society....I would say yes. However, if the unified society seen non-exclusivity as the norm....perhaps the answer would be no.
Comments (31)
However, I shall give it a go.
I have no idea what a leading female pick-up artist is, and why her word should be taken as gospel, but everybody can help themselves from not sleeping around. Most people do not sleep around, even when not in relationships, and it is much less common when in a committed relationship or marriage.
Making a marriage last is a test of one's character. It is not easy to live with the same person, deal with kids, financial problems, etc.and not have problems as a couple.
But love, loyalty andrespect will get most couples through, if they really work at it.
Not all marriages break up because of infidelity.
Most break up because of other pressures.
Or Judge Judy.
Try Wendy Williams,her producer/husband's so controlling.
It is easy to meet "someone" but it's hard to find someone with similar values that want the same thing.
I have been guilty of it myself, but at least was aware of it
I make them, and take responsibility for them.
What you have said is exactly what I think as well...it is a test of character. It is an act of being selfless and not selfish. With that comes the four letter word love.
....and you are right...
One cannot take his word as the gospel. But, there is a lot of evidence to support his claim.
So...I can conclude that it does not take a special person?
:)
For you it takes that. There is nothing wrong with that. I wonder if just one man would have what it takes to keep it exclusive with somebody like that?
....ooooops Ash too----->
I think the type of person it takes to override their natural urges comes down to that person first of all being able to understand themselves. Then, secondly....be able to control themselves. Lastly, having respect for their partner.
Even though the partner feels the most pain, there are so many others in your social circle that it can burden.
So true about a person who consistently picks the wrong partner...there is something wrong with their picking skills.
That is where I am at today. I made one mistake and I am not a person who enjoys making the same mistake, not when there is a lot at stake.
Agree...also...LOVE AND RESPECT.
BTW, is respect an inherent part within love?
Just curious...
If so, we can just break it down to just LOVE. :)
Very good points brought up. When you are with somebody for any length of time, or are accustomed to being in relationship...it is easy to see when your partner is starting to lose love and respect for you.
I am guilty as well.
Nice to bring that up...maybe that is the time when the couple should have a talk or two or three.
I actually tried that, but the partner does not have any genuine interest in working things out.
Maybe I could have saved a year? :)
Anyway, life it like that...throwing lessons out there.
Maybe it is not about selfish or selfless, but just what is stupid?
It is twofold.
The way society operates, religion benefits that as a whole.
but...
The way the individual operates, it might be somewhat oppressing.
What is the greater good?
I think the jury is still out on that for many...
I believe society as a whole is more important.
But either way, the main goal in life should not be working for someone else's goals.
Most people here on CS have broken relationship and blamed it on their partners, so are you sure you are asking the question to the right "respondents"?
I better try to sleep...
It's always TEAM-WORKS..
That is where the debatable part comes into play.
I think that could be a very interesting blog. I believe we are going to the individual way....
suppose if true, we will see the results...
One can assume it will be back to the ages of survival of the fittest.
You might be right about many here holding their partners responsible. At one time, I must admit I was like that too.
But with a little open-minded research, it takes two to tangle. Each partner might be responsible for different things that lead to the deterioration....but with a little careful reflecting....the self blame can be discovered.
Not saying this guy was God...but my interpersonal communications class professor told us that it is never just one or the others' fault for a fallout...it is always both people involve.
Speaking for myself, I cannot find any evidence to prove he is wrong.
RC,
It might be that the social engineers had good intentions with the candy giving.
GN RC
When I talk about the self-blame...I don't mean that in a way where you hang your head low and dwell on that for the rest of your life. I mean that in a great way. These are the parts of one's self that may need improving upon. The internet is loaded with tons of information on specific issues. Therefore, these self-blames become person builders.