A Blossoming Relationship

We had a bad start involving a turned over dustbin. A few days later, while both of us were guests at a barbecue hosted by a mutual friend, we got along well enough to venture onto a dinner date a few days later and we discovered that we have more in common than what we suspected.conversing

We are spending more and more time together and amazingly, we don’t make preset dates anymore. When I want to go somewhere, I simply walk across the road to fetch her and off we go. Likewise, when she wants to do something, she’ll just walk into my place, say so and we do it. Everything happens spontaneously and it is as if we’ve known each other for years, while in fact, it is only a very short time. shock

Somehow, without even discussing it, we became an item… and all those around us think so too.hmmm

The other amazing thing is that, during that barbecue, fairly early on, she mentioned very casually that after her stormy marriage, she will not easily get involved with somebody again and that she needs time and space to get her life back in order. Yet, as we grew closer, not once did she repeat that statement. In fact, I think that I got all the encouragement that a modern and decent woman would allow herself.flirty

With the exception of that ‘horrible’ Yorkshire accent which I sometimes battle to understand (Molly suggested sub-titles laugh ) and her inability to make a decent curry doh, she is everything I can expect in a woman; she is neat, attractive, sexy, intelligent, affectionate, adaptable, honest, and has many other good virtues. And apart from involving me in her life, she takes an interest in what I’m doing.thumbs up

She can even bait a fishhook, rack pool balls, and pour a decent brandy. But jokes aside, I could very easily fall in love with her; if I’m not that already but still in denial. But even if I’m not in love with her, I’m very fond of her and I don’t really care what we do, as long as she enjoys it as well.yay

Yet, the future is unclear. She has to work another two years before she can retire with a decent pension and that is where the uncertainty starts. What will happen then? During our conversation at that first barbecue, she also mentioned that she is considering going back to the UK. Now, that is the one topic that I have avoided since and she did not bring it up either. confused

I don’t want her to go back but I cannot see my way open to influence her to stay. I feel that she has to make up her own mind; for if things go sour later, as they often do, she’ll tell me that I told her to stay. I know that I should grab the bull by the horns and ask her if she was serious about going back - and I would; if only I knew what to do if she still planned to return to her country.sigh

Do I enjoy it while it lasts or do I take a smaller knock now to avoid a bigger knock later? dunno
cats meow cats meow

For those who don't know how this started, look at this.wow

Comments (81)

Enjoy it while it lasts

We over-think relationships constantly.
We worry and plan for a future which may never happen, yet waste time not enjoying the present which is here.

So live for the moment, and leave the future take care of itself.

Cape diem.
H i Molly,
Hmm, I suppose a lot can happen in two years.
It can.

And I'd you ask her now, you are pressuring her into making a decision. Just go with the flow, and enjoy each day as it comes.
Yes, its true but I still think I should know what her plans are.or at least if she is still considering it, I think I deserve to know as it will have an impact on how I approach the relationship, If it is not going to survive, I must treat it as such.
Yeah Cat, I know exactly where you are coming from. I would be the same.

But nothing lasts forever, no matter how much we plan for it.

And often we lose out on enjoying the present whilst trying to plan for a future we have no control over either way.
yay yay yay

smitten smitten smitten
Mimi! ! reunion
Molly reunion

How are we today? bouquet
I gave a day off work yay

Okay, I'll probably end up doing more work around the house than if I were at work, but it's still great to be off. cheering
Gave = have

Stupid tablet mumbling
We cannot control the future but we can shape or guide it into a general direction. The things we do today have a large impact on the future. I'm going to stir the question sometime this weekend. Maybe she does not remember telling me that she thinks about going back because it come out so casually, as if it is not a very big deal.

Of course that was before we got thick. At that stage we were just conversing because we happened to be the only singles present. Actually, I think it was a conspiracy, for the only other people present was the host, his wife, my sister and her husband, leaving the two of us stranded together.

I'll know what to do if she had decided to stay or if she's no longer considering it and I'm slowly forming an idea of how to handle it if she is still undecided or if she intends to return. But whichever way it goes, I'd hang on. It is too good to squander.

And I think she'll understand my need to know.
Reward yourself with some hot cocoa after a hard day's housework!

Oh and don't forget to prop your feet up while sipping your cocoa coffee
Hi Mimi,
Why are you so pleased; have I been stalking you?laugh

Oh, by the way, there's a an investigator detective from Lloyd's snooping around here about your insurance claim. You better talk to him. He looks very pissed off.rolling on the floor laughing
Working around the house is different. It is not to make some other a**hole rich.applause
I am deciding whether to bake first, and then just do a big clean up, or do the clean up now.

I am veering towards the baking, but I think that is probably just me trying to put off the cleaning laugh
Hot cocoa on a scorcher like today? Oh yes, you have a different climate. It is so hot here we must go outdoors in groups of three or more. If the sun catches you alone, you've had it.grin
what do you plan to bake? Jim and I are still on a hype after Wednesday's sortie; we're looking for another place to hit.dancing
Cat, it is a beautiful winter's day here.
Blue skies and sunshine.
Because I am so far south, we don't really get snow. But I believe snow fell in the north of the country last night alright.
For a small country, we have totally different climates north and south.
Cat, today's baking might be a bit too 'healthy' for you to want to steal laugh

I'll probably make wholewheat and honey scones, and banana and oat muffins.
Here in Capetown we don't have to go far to get climatic changes. We often get four seasons in a single day.grin
It sounds good. Bake a lot.

And we don't steal! We merely relieve people of what may be harmful to them. Like you health cookies. It is not always good for your health to be healthy.
Cat, amazingly, my family tend to think it is good for my health if they relieve me of my baking too confused

Which is why I am making double quantities laugh

I am used to 4 seasons in one day here, it is the norm.

If I ever went to SA again, I'd definitely go to Cape Town and do the Garden Route. And of course, the wine regions too wine
Sensible me says just go with the flow but my gut says tell her how you feel, life's short hug
On reading your content again Cat, I say throw caution to the wind and sweep her off her feet

She has doubts, fear and uncertainty due to past experience but a confident man with good intent who cares for her can change all that thumbs up
I would enjoy the moment, let things flow and do not be a kill joy . If you ask her to stay and things do not go your way or her way , you my friend would be holding the shit stick.
But he doesn't have to come across all needy and demanding Annie conversing

He can be subtle, romantic, charming and persuasive hence the lady in question will find him irresistible heart wings
The garden route is a must.

A wine route? There must be at least a hundred, probably more, wine cellars within 30 km from where I live. Every 2nd or 3rd Saturday four of us (plus wives and girlfriends) hit a different cellar. You pay an entry fee, sit and taste all their wines and buy a few bottles or a case of what you like. If we don't like the wines, we just move off to another cellar.wine

Forget about joining a tour group. Get yourself lodgings at the right place, get a map showing all the cellars, hire a car and do it at your own pace. You cannot go wrong.banana
Cat, the only thing about driving to the wineries is then I couldn't drink! mumbling

Hmm obviously he's not focused on the matter in hand, typical male laugh
Hi Serene,
It's easy to sweep her off her feet; i think I have done that but it will be of no use if she feels that she must return home. I don't know what is waiting for her back in the UK. No, I don't mean an old flame, thinking more in the line of family. She had no children with her South African husband but there is a son (34) from a first marriage back home. I don't know how close they were and I don't know if they have contact. She does not talk much about him.

By the way, She has been in SA for just over 20 years.

So you see, I know very little about he past. I think this is one of the reasons why we're getting on so well. I'm not questioning her about her past, satisfied with what she tells me as slowly opens up.

Hi Annlee,
that's right but I'm not getting any younger. My family is very long living and I expect to live another 30 years but I'm running out of time and I want to settle some time or the other.
That is why we do it in such a large group. One guy has a VW Mini bus and we make turns. every time one of us may not drink. And some of the wives /girlfriends also help.
Why do you say I'm not focused on the matter? dunno
2 dozen scones baking.

Now on to the muffins grin
good, the Ratmobile should arrive in good time.laugh
Hello Cat,wave Am glad things are working out with you and your neighbor. As for her mentioning moving back to the UK, maybe she s trying to get a response from you. I have known instances where people say something off the wall ,to get a person to disclose their hopes and dreams,??? Just Saying
But it sounds like you re enjoying yourself in the meantime, take it slow, and see what happens. Good Luck to you there Bud,
Hi Catfoot wave Glad things are going well with you and your lady, just follow your heart and listen to what she says and maybe sometimes what she is not saying. I think you are a man of character and good judgment.

the one thing I see in your post that caught my eye the most was her retirement pension, I hope this can be worked out that she does not jeopardize it in anyway.

Happy for you my friend cheers

Things Take Time!

Just go with the flow! Live day by day, step by step. Eventually You All Will Be Talking About It. If she will stay there or be leaving ( If You Do Not Mess It Up!)

Two years from now, is a long ways from now. But! Closer then you think.

And besides! If you two are still together, and she still wants to go back to the UK! Hey, If she will let you! Go with her.

Again! Step by. Stop rushing things! Letting your mine wonder.

Are you thinking about marriage already? Awwl you go boy.....wink

confused hmm! Is this the young lady that though you was homeless?!

......rolling on the floor laughing got dog!
@ Wenever

wave I'm Over Here!

Caught Me!....... If You Can.......

kiss Love You! Much
Hi 12121,
At the time when she said it, neither if us (i think) had any notion of us getting together. We were still at the stage of small talk and basically together because the other four people present were married couples. Mind you, I still think it was a conspiracy.laugh

But it came out so casually that I cannot believe that it was intended to draw out an reaction. As I said, we had nothing going.
durbsgirl65: "female verses male????"(meet us in the profile reviews)

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