I Found The Perfect Partner For You
Hey! Yes you… the fella who moved from 69 to 88; I thought I found a perfect partner for you… and then I realized you’re not Italian. But you have that Italian look and we can still save the day if you are willing to relocate to Italy even if it is just for a while.
This gal is hell bent on a tall, dark and handsome Italian guy and she has been searching for years now; just as desperate as you. You’re already tall and dark and with a new pic we can get you to some degree of handsome as well.
The Italian part is a bit problematic but there are many booklets teaching Italian phrases and you do really have an Italian look. She is South-African, cannot speak Italian and won’t even catch on that you only know a few phrases. And to sweeten the deal you can tell her that your father is a Count of some sorts. She very status aware. This will go easier than what I thought.
Hooking up with her is going to be just as easy. All you need to do is walk by and pinch her on the bum in true Italian style. She’ll love it and you will live happily after.
When I think of it, you are a perfect match. You’re both weird and both have the tendency to ask the same question over and over.
Ah, I better prep you for the most important question that she may ask. Tell her that you will inherit the title of Count but your father is planning to wear the 'o' round his neck into his grave..
And then I have the perfect escape route for you if your union turns sour. Just tell her that Catfoot is your best friend and that he’s coming to visit for six weeks. I can guarantee that she’ll leave before the next day.
If you’re interested, let me know so I can point you in the right direction.
I’m doing it here because the two of you have another common trait. Neither of you seem to read the comments on your own blogs.
The contents of this blog is purely fictional and a figment of my imagination. Any resemblance to anybody, dead or alive, is absolutely incidental.
Comments (63)
It is Saturday. The blogs will wake up later. and I don't think every body recognizes both main players. but they will know who they are.
I cannot believe you. He's been all over the blogs lately though I have not seen her on the blogs since my return. but i see she is quite active in the forums. Ah, and then received more than one nomination as the weirdest on somebody's blog the other day.
You're telling me! I did not know that I could be such a matchmaker. I think I should offer my services to CS on a permanent basis.
That is the easiest part. He only needs to stand around within hearing distance of her and make Italian noises. You know the Italians? Just like the French; just noisier. She will investigate and he must pinch her bum. But not just any pinch. A true Italian pinch and the knot will be tied..
You are certainly taking more risks in 2018.
I often wonder why people put themself in a position where nothing is "good enough"...?
..at the same time beeing so blind that they wouldn`t reckognice their own reflecktion in the mirror,
doesn`t help eighter...
you know this is not easy on me. You know I have a crush on her myself. but my feelings for her is so noble that I don't care about me. It'd her happiness that matters most of all.
Nope, I took a quick stroll through the forums and there she was; in technicolor and large as life still looking for her Italian stallion. And then I thought of 88. It will be like two flies with on swat.
Come to think of it... you don't make a bad couple
You saw my 'new year resolutions'. I'm just getting into gear to live up to my new expectations. But I still think it is a good match. I may even get an invitation and a free air ticket to the wedding. they may even ask me to be his best man.
the thing is, when you're perfect, you are perfect and ordinary mortals like as is a schlep. We should not be so harsh on her. It's not easy to be perfect with everybody watching you with hawk eyes; or is it with envy?
It could never work. I'm not worthy of her. Apparently South-African men, esp the Afrikaans speaking clan, is up to no good. I cannot argue against such superior intellect,
It's ok. I have people watching the airport, station and the tunnel, looking out for her. But I think I'm over reacting. She will be very grateful when she meets her pseudo Italian.
Sunglasses is a must. her halo is bright enough to blind us mortals a half a mile away.
Please do forgive me, but I wonder what really have the two done to you that deserve this kind of blog.
I'm trying to help them to get together. what is so wrong about that?
Thanks for trying but the damage is done. I think she just killed my blog.
Maybe I should have introduced myself first.
You should have spoken to me first. It is all in the accent. Apparently Italian is the in thing now. When you see her again make sure you speak with an Italian accent or even better a few Italian phrases before pinching her bum.
Ah, is it that bad!. Where did you say you pinch her?
Ouch, you're catching me a bit off balance here. I don't know too much about these things. Only what we hear on the schoolyard and you know all the BS that's told at the schoolyard.
Cheer up man! this is all a joke!
It was a momentary lapse of reason
All good
Great! It's all in good spirit. Next week I'm doing serious blogs. That is provided that this blog does not get me suspended before that. I have the notion that two or three people are going to report it.
Yes he is watching you very carefully
thanks buddy. I don't know what I would have done without you. But... If this blog is deleted I'll have to sue your lawyer for malpractice. And there is going to be pain and suffering too. I'm very attached to my blogs. Then we did not even discuss all the loss of data that I have invested in this blog.
I like my lawyer he works for cheap, I give him chickens and a bowl of fruit seems to work.
He sounds like a hawk to me. I have to feed mine on seal carcasses. He's a real shark.