LILLYLADY Forum Posts (1,293)

RE: would you date your partner's best friend?

You should have stood by your fiancee and been patient and tried to help her through these tough times. That's when the other person knows that you are truly there for them when the going gets tough.

Most people hit a very low point in their lives and feel that things are hopeless. But then eventually pull through it and are able to look up again. Your fiancee hit that point and you let her go and very quickly you took up with someone new. And this someone betrayed the friendship and trust of your fiancee by writing very explicit personal issues that belittled your fiancee. And to harbor romantic feelings for you while she was suppossedly writing about to you about farming as she told us all? I don't think most of us buy into that considering how fast she latched on to you.

If jumping to someone else so quickly in life is how you are, you may find yourself on the receiving end of someone doing the same thing to you in time. I hope not though for your sake.

Perhaps you may find that "the grass is not greener on the other side of the pasture" as you may have been led to believe.

RE: in the courthouse in dresden in germany man killed a woman

I read that they went to court because the woman asked the man to have his child get off a swing in the playground so her child could ride the swing.

Hmmm, most parents would wait until a swing is available and wouldn't ask for someone else's kid to get off the swing. Can't help but wonder if the man and woman had known each other and had bad words in the past? However, it still doesn't give the man the right to murder the woman and injure her husband over a playground incident.

I believe that there is more to the story that what the public is being told. It will come out in the news eventually I believe.

RE: In memory to all those lives lost in downtown Baghdad today

Amen Robert

RE: In memory to all those lives lost in downtown Baghdad today

Again, topic for another thread here. Not this one. But it is a thought to ponder at another time. I have to hand it to you GP, you have been keeping your comments low key and being rather respectful to the OP.

Lilly

RE: In memory to all those lives lost in downtown Baghdad today

My apology to you GP. It is the other guy that needs to go into his mancave for a time out to cool off for awhile and get over his PMS moment. His comments were absolutely despicable at this time.

People around the world have politial disagreements and their view of war and whose to blame, but voicing them at the right time, right space and place is what should be in order.

This forum was definitely not the right time, space or place for what was so defiantly written to hurt the OP who has been suffering some emotional deep scars at this time. This is the point I have tried to make in my postings here.

The forum was set up by the OP as a place to garner support to help in her in emotional healing. It is only the right and respectable thing to offer that support to her at this time. Her pain is an experience that is universal to all humans...irregardless of what our ethnic backgrounds are.
Perhaps some humans have lost their sense of humaness and humanity to the next person.

RE: In memory to all those lives lost in downtown Baghdad today

Oh my!
Actually GP, the cave comment is probably more appropriate for Sam based on his nastiness to LaVerdad.

RE: In memory to all those lives lost in downtown Baghdad today

Go back to your cave and come out and face the world when you get over your PMS crisis and can behave better.

RE: In memory to all those lives lost in downtown Baghdad today

Here you go again with your political agenda. You just don't get it. I personally don't care whatsoever what your ethnic background is Sam and neither does anyone else here. It is a very sad shame that you have given the biggest and unholiest insult to the OP who may be of your ethnic heritage as you have stated. Her heritage has no bearing on the saddness her heart and soul must feel at this time of her life. Her saddness is a universal feeling of a human in a time of great loss.

Basically, you have slapped her in the face with an enormous insult at this time of deep grief. She is to be respected. I have no doubt that she is a much kinder and thoughtful person to all she meets in life than you will ever be. It would behoove you to humble yourself a bit to the forum OP.

As I stated to someone else on the forum, "As you sow to others in life, that will be what you shall reap."

You personally owe LaVerdad an apology for your disrespect to her at this time.

RE: In memory to all those lives lost in downtown Baghdad today

This is not a political forum Solitaire. It is a forum for a memorial to the loss of life. It is appropriate to respect LaVerdad's personal loss and offer her condolense. If you are not able to have compassion and sensitivity to her grief at this time, please remain silent as a show of respect for her and other CS members. It is the most appropriate at this time.

RE: In memory to all those lives lost in downtown Baghdad today

Stop your political views here. It has no place whatsoever on this forum. You are most insensitive to the grief LaVerdad is experiencing right now. This is the forum to offer her heartfelt emotional support if you are able to do that.

But if you can't find it in your heart to do that, it is better to stay silent than to make a fool out of yourself and yell at us (using all capital letters) all your political hate. You have blatantly shown disrespect for LaVerdad and her request that she clearly posted at the end of her post.

RE: In memory to all those lives lost in downtown Baghdad today

Shame on you Ray for daring to insult LaVerdad with your American rhetoric hate B.S. It is obvious that you have absolutely no compassion for a lady that is going through a very tough time and is in a grieving process for the loss of the lives of her friends.

This forum here is not the place to spew your hatred, considering that she made a request not to do this. So shall you reap what you sow in life when you dishonor the feelings of a person in need of sincere heartfelt emotional support.

RE: Do you think youth around my age need permission from parents to have a date?

I don't know your parents but undoubtably your mom is very concerned about your future and wants to see you emotionally and financially well balanced throughout life.

She will be your best friend throughout life and will no doubt be your most reliable and true person to talk to about problems that happen as you grow into full mature adulthood.

Whether we realize it or not, we become very much like our parents as we grow older in life. Some of it is our genetics, cultural and religious upbringing and for some of us...it is just being around our parents that make us naturally more apt to act like them at different points in our life.

I'm sure that many of the CSers here might be able to say jokingly or even seriously, "I have become my mother." Many of us perhaps did not want to think like our mothers but somehow do and all of a sudden realized it.

RE: Do you think youth around my age need permission from parents to have a date?

Regardless of your age and independence, your mom is very obviously thinking about your future. You say that you are only 80% independent.

No doubt mom wants you to succeed in a career first. You will most likely attract a successful partner in life too and will have something more financially solid to bring into a marriage.

It is senseless to distract from your education now and possibly never have the chance to complete it and reach your fullest financial and emotional independence in life.

You may only have to look around your country at others who are in bad situations and know that is not something your mom wants to see for you in life.

Somehow, many of us as parents are able to see and understand negative things that can occur in the future whereby our children will say, "No,that can never happen to me." In other words, parents in general are able to recognize the "red danger flags" in life whereby many younger people just don't see danger.

We as parents also may not have been able to recognize danger flags when we were younger, but life experiences have finally taught us to recognize and heed the warnings.

RE: the best male actor ever

Charleston Heston is one of my favorites. He was great in "Ben Hur" as well as "The 10 Commandments."

RE: Do you think youth around my age need permission from parents to have a date?

I don't see any issue with a boyfriend to see you only with your parents being present. This way, your mother knows the guy and it has to be respectable in your cultural and family tradition. If he is a good quality match for you in life, he will wait for you and honor you and your family traditions and the completion of your education. Your parents may interrogate the guy to see what type of guy he really is. If he is of good quality for you, they may let him come over to visit or study with you.

As my family said the following two proverbs to me, "Get an education or you will be dirt under someone's feet someday." Also, "Your education is your key to your future."

So choose your education and relationships wisely and you will be much more successful and happy in life in general. If you go against your family and social traditions, you may regret it and feel guilty the rest of your life for dissappointing your mom and yourself as well.

RE: To Annouce or not to annouce - that is the question

What? Morgan didn't tell us that you have not been talking? Awwww...c'mon now Morgan. Spill the beans and do tell

RE: To Annouce or not to annouce - that is the question

I like to see the postings and pictures of people getting married. That is providing they haven't gotten a bunch of the CS members angry with previous postings.

I agree with Morgan, it's probably better to keep your private life as is....private.

RE: To Annouce or not to annouce - that is the question

For some people, announcing is very good.

But on the other hand, it isn't such a good idea for some people.
They are definitely treading on some mighty choppy waters as you say and it is a crap shoot on the CS members comments back to the announcement.

RE: turn the lights off in the kids bedroom at night?please read below....

G'morning to you Nuliiiiiii. It's now 11:49am over here in Ohio and a gorgeous Indian summer warm day here. Don't have many more warm days left now as it's already frosted over at night.
Heading out the door now to get some fence painting done. Long day ahead of me now.

Always nice hearing from you and reading your posts.

Lilly

RE: turn the lights off in the kids bedroom at night?please read below....

My son always slept in a dark room much better. He would complain about lights...even a dim nightlight keeping him awake. However, in the hallway just by his bedroom door and in the bathroom, I had a nightlight plugged in so he could maneuver himself to the bathroom if he got up in the middle of the night. He said that was OK for him.

So the problem was solved.

RE: If a potential woman/man smokes on a date is it a turn off?

I'm am sooooo sorry Big John for the loss of your wife. My b/f had lost his wife of 30 yrs to illness that was also directly related to her years of smoking. Very painful for him to have seen and live through. But he also was a smoker and gave it up long ago, save for a rare occassional cigar.(I let him know about the displeasure as I can taste it even days later when we kiss. Ewwww!) He still grieves at times and cannot foget 30 yrs of life together, especially on his wedding anniversary or the date of her death every year. It is tough on him and there is nothing I can do but listen to his saddness when he needs someone to vent to a bit.

Yes...smoking is a big turn off when it comes to dating someone. No doubt about it.

RE: If a potential woman/man smokes on a date is it a turn off?

Correction here....The cigarette smoke has been the main trigger of asthma attacks in my later years after I have been around anyone smoking. It was different in my younger years when I suffered asthma when I wasn't around smokers as I wrote on the posting just prior to this here.

RE: If a potential woman/man smokes on a date is it a turn off?

OMG Venere....my heart goes out to you and your son both. I struggled with childhood asthma but my parents didn't smoke. However, my father was a fuel oil furnace repairman so I grew up around the soot and grease and a fuel oil furnace in our home. I struggled to breathe throughout childhood. Always took pills that would make me very shaky, got allergy shots, repeated respiratory infections. My mother frequently would boil up a pot of water on the stove and have me lean over it to take in the hot steam. She would hold a towel around my head to prevent the steam from escaping while I inhaled it. Eventually, she even got a steam vaporizer and would put Vicks Vaporub at the area where the steam would come out of. I also had what they called a mustard plaster stuck onto my chest to open my lungs. My father would apply it to my chest and the Vicks Vaporub around my throat area and put a towel around my neck too. You can better believe I would go into a heavy sweat to try to get my lungs to open. Many penicllin shots in the butt from the family doctor who always came to our home. They didn't have aerosol treatments or ventolin back in the 1950s or early 60s. No one knew back then why I was so asthmatic. We had no house pets except an occassional tiny turtle or a goldfish.

Believe it or not...my lungs would open and I'd stop wheezing but not before I would cough up profuse amts of mucous. Those were the treatments for asthma that I endured as a child. If not for those extreme measures, I would have probably died early in life.

I've also taught my son how to do the back clapping technique I learned later in life to "buy some time" for a short period for someone having an asthma attack. Respiratory therapists use it to move mucous and expand lung capacity. Works well for sudden asthma attacks too. I've done it for others and it does work.

RE: If a potential woman/man smokes on a date is it a turn off?

Ah, we both must have read the same article on the genetics of alcohol and cigarette addiction. It takes an incredibly strong minded person to quit the smoking and/or drinking or both in spite of genetics involved. They have my utmost respect.

RE: If a potential woman/man smokes on a date is it a turn off?

Thank you for understanding that it is not a psychosomatic illness.

I was not aware that it has been identified as a trigger in most asthma cases. But for myself and past experience, I can state that for a positive fact...it is the main trigger for my asthma attacks. There is no doubt about it whatsoever in my case in every attack that I have ever had after being around cigarette smoke through the years.

Sometimes I can't get to sleep after being around the smoke or else I wake up in the middle of the night coughing and wheezing for the remainder of the night in an asthma attack.

RE: If a potential woman/man smokes on a date is it a turn off?

Seriously, the gene wasn't called "choice." I had read this on CNN probably about a month ago. There really is genetics involved with people that are smokers. It's definitely more than just nicotine involved. I was quite surprised when I read this. The gene was even identified. I regret that I did not make a copy of the article but just read it in passing.

Like anyone who has any addictions of any sort, it is a tough thing to reform old habits and start life anew. Any changes are life altering and very emotional. That is why I have a great deal of admiration for anyone who quits smoking. They are giving themselves a gift of life and the gift of life to those that have to be around them. Life altering and a very deep emotional change is involved here.

RE: If a potential woman/man smokes on a date is it a turn off?

I'm not sure if it's in Ohio or just in my county, but smoking has been outlawed inside public places. Private clubs are excluded though from this law.

It is such a pleasure now to go into a restaurant to eat and know that I am not eating someone's cigarette smoke and have to cough and choke during a meal.

I do recall the days of the farcial segregated smoking sections of an airplane being separated from the non-smoking section by a curtain. OMG! The non smoking section was always so smoky and you could see it hanging in the air. A farce it was for sure!!

RE: If a potential woman/man smokes on a date is it a turn off?

For anyone that thinks that asthma or struggling to breathe is a psychosomatic issue from smoke inhalation, then they should do an experiment and position themselves behind the fumes and smoke of a car or diesel engine and see if they don't have any issues breathing.

Somehow, I believe that they would become a bit uncomfortable at some point and perhaps would understand a bit more how us non smokers struggle to get a breath of air.

I commend anyone who has the courage to quit smoking permanently. It is undoubtably a tough thing to do. There were some studies done recently that I read, that there is a genetic component to smoking, much like there is to the genetics of being a heavy drinker. Scientists have actually found a gene for the liklihood of someone becoming a smoker.

RE: If a potential woman/man smokes on a date is it a turn off?

When I am around cigarette smoke, it causes my asthma to flair up. I cough and wheeze and am not able to sleep during the night and also get hot and cold flashes all night. Then I am very weak for the next 2 days at least and am not able to get very much done around my home. Just want to sit around. Just experienced that this weekend after going to a party and having to suffer with the secondhand smoke. And the allergic rhiinits...oh yea..bloody and thick yellow mucous. Yuckie!!

Suffered miserable after accompanying a girlfriend to a gambling casino in Detroit, Michigan. Since I had never been in one, I was curious as to what they looked like. Well, within minutes of walking into the thick smoke, I had a migraine headache and runny nose and coughing. No fun for me to be there whatsoever. Well, I was sick for another 4 days and nights after that excursion. Gambling in casinos or bingo halls isn't my idea of fun anyway.

So if a person smokes, they cannot do it in my presence. Or else, I pay a steep price for someone else's pleasure. While they feel great and relax, I wind up very ill!!

RE: Larry's Humor

Such great Pearls of Wisdom that Larry the Cable Guy has. Thanx for sending them our way Sweetowen. So So very true for everything he says there.