Seems the British, Irish and the American southerners have the best sense of humor here. Or else you guys are the only ones that have read this joke and can appreciate it for what it is.
After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.
It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.
He then caressed her shoulders and neck slowly worked his hand down over her breasts stopping just over her lower stomach.
He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again,working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and started to watch the tv.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, "That was wonderful. Why did you stop"
Israel isn't going to push the button to fire off missles into other countries unless they are directly attacked in a big way. It will be a last resort to use their nuclear arsenal.
If they want to take out Iran's nuclear capability, they need to go after the scientists and operators of the nuclear facilities when they go abroad on vaccations or conferences. I believe that recently one of Iran's nuclear scientists came up missing and hasn't been found yet.
Now this doesn't mean Israeli Mossad took him out but if he is not found, more than likely one of Iran's other enemies took him out of the picture permanently. I doubt it was Mossad or the CIA, but most likely somone. Perhaps one of their own people who was disgruntled. Surely, one has saboteurs in their own country much like suicide bombers take out their own countrymen.
Keep your distance from her. Do not confront her or you may enrage her anger even more. She is obviously looking for some kind of a challenging fight. No telling if she may shoot or knife you if you decide to confront her.
I agree that you need to keep a written record of any phone calls or if she stalks you. For your own safety, the police should be contacted if she keeps up threatening behaviors.
She sounds rather loco to me. You may need a restraining order before this is all over yet.
May this birthday bring you another day of joy... celebrating it with your beloved Joanne. May you both have many more of each of your birthdays to celebrate together.
Jews had lived in Israel long before Mohammed began the Muslim faith. There are archaeological Jewish ruins that predate Mohammed that have been found.
In all fairness, sympathize with the Jews for a change and let them have their land back. They were forced out due to the politics of the times early in history. It is their right to return. Now that would be fair play. Anyone else would be the occupier.
Disinfranchised people...c'mon, geez!! Fair play you say!! Read this excerpt from today's Ha'aretz newspaper:
The murderous attack occurred in June 2002 – ending a tragic week in which no fewer than 38 Israelis were murdered by Palestinian terrorists, including 19 on a bus outside the Gilo neighborhood of Jerusalem and seven in a French Hill bus stop bombing.
On Thursday evening, June 20, 2002, a Palestinian terrorist infiltrated the Shomron (Samaria) town of Itamar and began shooting in all directions. He then ran to the Shabo family house, which he entered and began his murderous spree. Soldiers and Border Guard police encircled the house, and the exchange of fire continued even after some soldiers bravely entered the house. They forced the terrorist upstairs while they rescued the four surviving children inside, two of whom were hurt. The terrorist was shot and killed when he jumped from the second floor - but not before the house caught fire when a bullet hit a gas canister. The house was largely destroyed.
Boaz’s wife Rachel, 40, and three of their seven children - Neriah, 15, Tzvikah, 12 and Avishai, 5 - were murdered in the attack. Itamar resident and emergency team member Yossi Tuito was also murdered when he arrived at the home in an effort to help.
And there are many more stories like the Coastal Road Massacre that I won't go into. Israel isn't moving their country or their citizens anytime soon...that you can be sure of.
Seems odd that the Palestinians had no interest in having a state or country in Palestine when it was occupied by the British. Only interest was after the Jews returned.
Sorry LoveableOne, I did not realize that there was another evolution thread. I just saw one for evolution vs God. My thread is meant to be more scientifically related based on serious anthropological research shown in the scientific article on CNN. My apologies if I have offended you in any way. I do not want this to be another religious God thread vs Evolution or Big Bang Theory thread touting our existence.
I had hoped to hear some serious comments from people with some knowledge of genetics, DNA knowledge or anthropology backgrounds or people with direct first hand experience with research with skeletal remains from early ancestors. Hopefully, there are CSers with that knowledge out there that can shed some light on this issue.
Although, some humorous banter on the subject can be uplifting too.
I don't think it is impossible that this skeleton could very well be one of our early ancestors. It may very well be the combo mammal that humans and ape/chimp lines may have evolved from. It is said that chimps are our closest ancestors genetically speaking that is.
When one sees how vicious chimps can get, it can be correlated also with how vicious some humans can get. Perhaps there are some bad genetics that get inherited.
Do you think that this may be the "missing link" of our human/chimp ancestor that lived and to whom we may have evolved from? This is a shortened version of today's CNN article.
CNN) -- The oldest-known hominid skeleton was a 4-foot-tall female who walked upright more than 4 million years ago and offers new clues to how humans may have evolved, scientists say.
Scientists believe that the fossilized remains, which were discovered in 1994 in Ethiopia and studied for years by an international team of researchers, support beliefs that humans and chimpanzees evolved separately from a common ancestor.
"This is not an ordinary fossil. It's not a chimp. It's not a human. It shows us what we used to be," said project co-director Tim White, a paleontologist at the University of California, Berkeley.
Ardipithecus ramidus, nicknamed "Ardi," is a hominid species that lived 4.4 million years ago in what is now Aramis, Ethiopia. That makes Ardi more than a million years older than the celebrated Lucy, the partial ape-human skeleton found in Africa in 1974.
Ardi's 125-piece skeleton includes the skull, teeth, pelvis, hands and feet bones. Scientists say the data collected from Ardi's bone fragments over the past 17 years push back the story of human evolution further than previously believed.
"In fact, what Ardipithecus tells us is that we as humans have been evolving to what we are today for at least 6 million years," C. Owen Lovejoy, an evolutionary biologist at Kent State University and project anatomist, said Thursday.
Analysis of Ardi's skeleton reveals that she weighed about 110 pounds, had very long arms and fingers, and possessed an opposable big toe that would have helped her grasp branches while moving through trees.
Ardi's brain was believed to be the size of a chimp's, but she also had many human-like features, such as the ability to walk upright on two legs. Her "all-purpose type" teeth indicate that she probably ate a combination of plants, fruits and small mammals, scientists say.
"The Ardi findings are the work of 47 paleontologists and geologists representing 10 countries. The results will be published Friday in 11 articles in a special edition of the journal Science.
Until now, Australopithecus, nicknamed "Lucy," was the oldest fossil studied by scientists seeking to explain human evolution. Lucy is believed to have lived about 3.2 million years ago in what is now Ethiopia.
Ardi's skeleton resides in the National Museum of Ethiopia in Addis Ababa.
This is definitely a tough one for a 5 yr old who is used to being the object of 100% of your attention throughout his life.
First of all, I want to say, "Shame on that man" who abandoned his own child and ran for the hills. You have my utmost respect for being there and accepting the responsibility 100% for raising him.
Perhaps getting him into some little kid male dominated sports where there are male coaches and you and the boyfriend being there to cheer him on, support him and practice the sport outside of practice, would make your son perhaps a bit more acceptable of your b/f.
I've seen little kids enrolled in football, baseball, basketball and even karate classes. Confidence building type sports. They're so proud when they score a win, get a trophy or certificate, gain a karate patch for their uniform and they form very cohesive bonds with their teamates and gain acceptance. Sometimes they have their dissappointments too and need an adult to talk to about their feelings. Sometimes, a boy needs to talk to a man, even at 5 yrs old.
They will still kling to you but will also show more independence when they are involved with sports or martial arts. Great discipline and health benefits too.
This just so happens to be my favorite Patsy Cline song of all times. Thanks for posting it and allowing us to really enjoy some beautiful quality sound again
I'm from the New York-New Jersey area. I would not stay in NYC at all. Check out the Best Western Motel or the Hampton Inn in Parsippany, N.J. They each have an excellent free smorgasboard of a breakfast that is like nothing I've ever had anywhere at any motel. Lots of fresh fruits, homemade pastries and fresh breads and even someone who makes fresh omlets at the Best Western. The places are exceptionally clean and lots cheaper than staying in New York City. They also have some type of shuttle service to where you can pick up transportation to NYC.
The Hampton Inn also has a fantastic mediterranean restaurant on it's premises. Both have indoor swimming pools and 24 hr walking security personnel on premises and strive for customer satisfaction.
The other motels do not even come close to the quality of these 2 places.
Better to see New York City during the day and stay in New Jersey during the evening.
Do not feel guilty for not being able to keep your mom at home. I work in Long Term Care for the last 20 yrs as a nurse and have seen that feeling amongst many spouses and family members. There is an adjustment period for the person entering into Long Term Care but eventually, most people adjust and welcome the help. And there is also an adjustment period for the family members to deal with the guilt of putting their loved one in a facility and also for moving their own lives forwards finally.
If you put your mom in a facility with the "I don't want to take care of her attitude", then it's a selfish need for you. But if you put her in a facility with the "I am unable to take care of her properly, but I want to make sure she gets the best 24/7 care possible to meet her needs", then you are not being selfish. It is more of a loving act from someone that deeply cares.
You would have much more guilt seeing her wither away at home because you as a non medical person would not always know the right thing to do as her medical needs change. You would also see your own physical and mental health withering away too. This is surely not what your mother would want for you. Many times I've seen the caretaker family member wind up dying before the person they are caring for and the person they are caring for winds up in Long Term Care anyway and lives out their life for quite awhile yet, receiving 24/7 round the clock care anyway.
I am very supportive with my b/f whom I met 2 yrs ago on this site, as he is going through this probable scenario with his mom right now. I am utilizing my medical background to keep him posted on what I am assessing on her medical condition.
I hope I have been able to help you in some small way to deal with one of life's very tough unpleasant decisions to make
I don't see why not. They visit us now so why wouldn't they have visited back then? I'll bet Gilly would have a good answer on this one. Hope he's tuned in on this forum with his silver foil communication device
You must have a baaaad cat to need a cat super-nanny. If the darn cat can't appreciate that you treat her good and she has a good life with you, then it is time she learn what hard living is about....Put her out on a farm somewhere to fend for her own food. Although, she might be very content to eat a fresh mouse or mole everyday.
I do understand why you have to see someone's face. My sister here on this website shares that same problem as you have but her loss is very profound. Seeing the face when she is in person or writing to someone is very crucial for understanding. She is a beautiful person inside and out.
Congratulations Bridget! It really is a fantastic feeling meeting that special person in your life. Miked56 and I have been going with each other for 2 yrs this month. I had not dated for 16 years after my divorce until I met him. I was afraid to be hurt again.
I have my friend Jennifer to thank for convincing me to go onto this site. She met her husband here. Wouldn't have done it on my own. Met Mike about 2 weeks after I signed up. Good timing I guess. I have never regretted it.
Mike is truly a gem of a guy and the love of my life. My life is so much spiritually richer for him being a part of it. Thank you CS for making this happen.
Here's my latest one that just popped up on my email a few mins ago. Can't help but wonder who else he professes his devotion, loyalty, respect and unconditional love to. I am so flattered. Geez!!
Hi Angel
How are you, My name is Pedro White, I work with Cam Bank in Madrid - Spain as a group head, treasury department, I just register into this dating site after my horrible past years in Jacksonville, Florida United States of America. I divorced from my ex-wife, when I caught her on bed with one of my best friend making love. I have been heart broken and I need a very mature, decent, intelligent and faithful woman in my life. I am not after a facial beauty, but I am after the beauty of the heart.
I was paused when I search and get to your profile, you look so innocent and cute, responsible in appearance and I will like to know you better, because something in me is already telling me that you are the right woman for me. I can meet you wherever you are. I don’t believe that distance and age can be a barrier or an excuse to relationship.
I am a young gentle Man of 46yrs old, presently living in Spain. I am faithful in love and caring. I can't promise you that, dark cloud will never hover our lives or that the future will bring us many rainbows. I can't promise you that tomorrow will be perfect or that life will be easy.
I can promise you my everlasting devotion, my loyalty, my respect and my unconditional love for a lifetime. Please get back to me on my private email address pedrowhitecam@yahoo.com, because I am not always online, because my work.
I married a man who was 21 yrs older. I was 35 and he was 56 and i was very naive.. He went after me and I truly thought he was serious and wanted to settle down. I was really a conquest for him, a trophy of sorts as I was a very good looking girl. I have learned that he cheated on his first wife and accused any girl he would date of running around on him. I do believe he was unfaithful in every relationship and basically accused the women as a coverup for his own infidelity.
I was 100% faithful but once I got pregnant, I was told that it wasn't his. He stayed with me out of pity as the pregnancy was very rough. For a long time, he denied our son was his.
Long story short, we divorced, I stayed single and refused to ever date again until a few years ago when a friend suggested that I give this site a try. My ex definitely made me feel old and trapped and was a control freak of sorts in the marriage.
In conclusion, I am not a bitter person. I may have had the wrong husband but right child. He's been a great father for our son and I do believe he has finally acknowledged that this was his son. I have never remarried and doubt I ever will. So life has been quite a journey thus far.
For any man who is going after a much younger woman because she is attractive, a trophy, a conquest and a great lover to make you feel younger, you are truly doing her an injustice unless you are honestly there to make a long term life committment with her. And will allow her to go through the life experiences her age should be going through. Can you truly bring yourself back down to the younger age level and fit in well with her friends and lifestyle? Her friends may feel a bit uncomfortable being around a man as old as their parents although they won't tell you.
LILLYLADY Forum Posts (1,293)
Hi Nuliiiiiii,
RE: More Blonde Jokes (Sorry) lol
Just gotta love those ditzy blonde jokes. Keep posting them. Great for a good hearty laugh.