Relationships and Algorithms
Many dating sites use mathematical algorithms to match people. And charge a lot of money for this service.However, according to an article I recently read in the Washington Post, they are no better than random choice.
Why? Because they match basically on personality.
But studies have shown that people of similar personalities in long term relationships only make up 0.5% of the total, so basing a match on similar personalities is doomed to failure.
Relationship success basically depends on three things:
1. Individual characteristics - like whether you’re smart or what kinds of hang-ups you have around relationships
2. Quality of interaction - how you hit it off in-person;
3. Surrounding circumstances — stuff like your race or health or financial status.
(Finkel et al)
I was watching a series recently called Married at First Sight, where couples are matched scientifically by a panel.
4 couples were matched. They met for the first time at the altar. One couple had an obvious instant attraction to each other. All couples liked each other. They were well matched.
Fast forward 6 months. The only couple still together was the one who were instantly attracted to each other. The rest liked each other as friends only.
Maths and science can do so much, but nothing can account for that 'je ne sais quoi' or chemistry between people
Comments (116)
I've experienced them Algorithms or however they spell that. Yes, one night, one my ex's says to me, "Look Rob, ALGO, and you can stay here in the nightclub drinking and staring at all those other women, 'cause you sure aint paying any attention to me."
I answered, "Wha? I forgot you were here? No, no, no! Of course, I've got my eyes and thoughts only on you. Really I do. Don't do the ALGO thing to me."
So, you see, I've experienced that ALGO deal.
The romance of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton was living proof of that.
If you try to add additional figures to 1+1=2, then you get a clatter on the head
No mass was never my best subject. See, you can read my mind. You must have ESPN and satellite TV.
But these days one of my favorite subjects is a lady in a black and white blurred pic. So pretty and fun personality is she.
now you got me all blush and warm with those nice caring words of yours.
You're just always so thoughtful.
Oh boy....chemistry and sizzle, between a Man and a Woman....is a hard thing to find...but when you do....
Yeah, nothing can beat that initial sizzling zing.
It's hard to find, but I'll hold out to find it again
She'll have no interest in the farm, but will be able to bake you an apple tart.
Sparks are with people I don't particularly like or admire. Exciting and alarming at the start, then an increasing amount of time wondering to myself "why am I with this person?"
Yup, gonna be single forever.
It's usually one or the other
Phew ...
The three things you mentioned make sense - some things do simply depend on the person themselves and what they can offer to a partner.
The best relationships I was in had A LOT of attraction. If that strong attraction wasn't there, it just didn't last.
Finally decided to go on holiday together because we got on so well, agreed that we'd probably end up going to bed at least once just to be polite, and ended up being very polite indeed
Trouble was all that odd stuff we had in common was stuff that was fine for friendship and disastrous for relationships so "why am I with this person?" reared its head soon enough.
TMI. I've got the chatties tonight. Better log out.
Yeah, some relationships are better short and hot
And even if the spark is there, some are simply unable to sustain a relationship due to a variety of factors.
No point in settling for a stick in the mud
Well, maybe I could, but it wouldn't be by using any mathematical equations
You know that's my favourite emoticon of all
I wonder how frustrating a relationship would be with a smart person and a ditsy blonde.
I guess it would depend on the person
Some people like to be the most authoritive, most knowledgeable and most intelligent in the relationship, then it might work, as they'd always feel good about themselves.
I prefer to be with someone who constantly challenges me and is more knowledgeable about different subjects so I am constantly learning.
Algorithms that they claim to use are really very simple programmes that use "match" and "lookup" to compare database entries, paying money for the service is a waste of time. CS will use a similar system based on profile entries into their databases.
They can sort and list viable matches so like you said there is nothing to beat instant attraction
How many people looking for a match will simply look at profile pics and if attracted then view the profile, Id say 99%
On the blogs some personality will be evident and this will in my opinion lead to more profile views and the chance of a mutual attraction.
As they are generally uncomplimentary, or could be ohotoshopped, so I don't see it as a indication of the real person.
Actually, I have yet to date anybody from here who has had a pic up
I have always gone with personality, and I have been very lucky that their looks also attracted me when we did finally meet.
What if you relied purely on personality and fell for the person, once you had your first glimpse you were horrified that the bloke was in fact an 85 year old that lied, or dare I say even a woman.
I understand about personality, it attracts me too, but for me I want to see who is behind the personality.
Or if her were physically different from described.
Once, ages ago, I met with one fella who claimed to be 5'10". I was about 3 inches taller than him when we met
Needless to say, we didn't meet again. If they are untruthful about such an obvious thing, they would be untruthful about other things.