Profile Honesty
How honest should we be on our profiles?Would it put people off, or would it simply attract the type we are really looking for, and who are looking for us?
Should physical disabilities/abnormalities be put out there?
What about mental issues, from mild depression to dipshit loco?
Some people have no problem with either mental or physical issues, some even are attracted to them.
Same with body size. Should we put our BMI (Body Mass Index) on our profile. Although not a perfect method of measurement, is it not better than 'average ' or 'curvy' which means different things to different people.
Again, lots of people like fat or skinny people, and it would save them time in guessing/searching.
If we are selfish; unfaithful; possessive; short-tempered; undependable; argumentative; lazy; only want casual sex, etc., is it not better to say it?
If you want a partner to support you financially, why not say it? Some people want others to be dependent on them. Match made in heaven.
How honest should we be? And how able would people be to accept that honesty?
Comments (288)
If profile honesty became the norm, then more people may be prone to believing it.
This blog doesn't say, at any stage, that I am doing everything right. I never claim that.
It is simply asking the questions.
As everyone sees us differently can you in fact be the best judge of yourself
If profile honesty became the norm, then more people may be prone to believing it.
Unfortunately the numbers (bloggers) on cs would dramatically decrease.
And if we don't, maybe we should get a person who does know us well, to write our profile.
That is probably true.
Although this is about our main profile, and not bloggers.
About 99%of all CSers don't interact on the blogs.
And yes, honesty can be associated with self-confidence.
But also self-awareness.
A though provoking opinion from Oldblue!
i read that as maximum honesty without diminishing your self image. So that if i think that i am really smart, even if i am not and have difficulty comprehending complex issues except would never admit to it . then i can say that i am intelligent on the profile. But how could i say it any differently? It is a given that when we have a delusion (such as the ego) then we have no choice, we think we are honest when we state the delusions we consider facts.
But factual in formation, such as how many times you were married, how many illegitimate children you have, a prison sentence, debts, financial ability, a disability, recent pictures of yourself are different. I might have a small or big ego and simply decide to hide the info to make my chances better. I think that it leads to wasting of time and shows disrespect for the other. Actually it is an attempt to swindle them.
But you do not want to turn people off either by listing all those points about yourself that others might find undesirable. Because, you never know, they may not matter in the end when there is strong attraction established. In fact, this is the naive hope of so many men and woman, to hook the other and then reveal the bad stuff.
Maybe dating sites are not the best place for 'imaginary dreams'?
Whatever they are
Now you nailed it: self-awareness.
I was reading this morning, the internet rules, numer 6 is for sure my favourite, I just love it!
Actually most woman do say that, and the wording is "looking for generous gentleman who knows how to take care of a woman". Sounds familiar?
But if they are saying it, even in a roundabout way, then surely that is better than not?
Molly
But he must be able to financially support himself
you don´t have to go to my profile
Nice blog Molly, as usual
In most cases, yes they do.
"you don´t have to go to my profile blushing , thank you but this is definitely something NO ONE would ever read in mine. Fortunately I´m more than able to support myself and my tribe.....but who am I to disagree? LOL! "
support a tribe? Oh i would love to take a 2 year break from work Cachuchi!!!
(And yes, MollyBaby - a great post)
In the real world, we might meet someone new and we don't know doodly squat about them, but there is still an attraction. It's the finding- out from that point that decides if a relationship will be formed or not. And that's kind of the fun of getting to know someone.
Surely it should be the same on cs
But that is often when emotions become involved too.
Honestly, I would prefer to know in advance of that if they suffer from debilitating depression, or they have terminal cancer or they prefer to sleep with multiple partners, rather than finding these things out when I am already emotionally attached.
Mr.Real ,later.
I have always been honest with my blogs, sort of.
And besides, it's not like if we're going to marry anybody we meet on the internet.
I say, just enjoy the times and be happy for the net friends we all have.
This is about our main profile, and whether we should be honest or not on it.
But yes you are correct i have stopped looking and am just enjoying chatting to all on the blogs.
But who would that serve?
I wouldn't find what I was looking for anymore than the person I have been deceiving.
PS. I'm not
As for disabilities, I ve mentioned I have ms, you wouldn t believe how I get treated by a lot of people,(most women couldn t be bothered to say hello) (I get treated like I m deaf, or stupid, or 98 yrs old) Me being honest shows me how stupid, and biased some people are. People like that I can do without. My ms isn t progressing, I have to use a cane and have learnt how to adapt. I m probably more active than a lot of people. And I do have a better appreciation for life, than a lot of people. Here ,I figure is one case where being honest,is a benefit, for me at least.
It seems , the person writing the blog are giving the reader of the profile what they want. They re selling themselves, and we all know how some salesmen are. Is honesty be put on the endangered list???
I am an honest person and maybe do not advertise my self enough