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POLITICALLY CORRECT CHRISTMAS© Part TWO
"Yes, my client was there, and the tale went like this,
The Missus grabbed his butt, and gave him one big kiss.
A gentleman he was, and kissed her back polite
So if it wasn't right, it was just an oversight."
"He's innocent, I swear, there was no lewd intent.
He's a friendly guy and the Missus looked content.
Now, about the eggnog, he only took two sips,
Not a drop of hard stuff ever touched his lips.”
The old Judge looked stern and rubbed his craggy jaw.
"That may be true you say, but he broke another law.
He didn't knock on doors, but down the chimney came,
That's a crime in any court, this I do proclaim."
"And lest we not forget the damage done to roofs,
Is caused by sixteen pair of dancing reindeer hoofs.
Does he have a license for such a prancing team?
Does not this mode of travel seem to everyone extreme?"
“And for his ‘Ho, ho, ho’s,’ it's nothing we should hear,
It has another meaning, and that meaning's all too clear.
The man should be discreet, use words that don’t offend
We can’t be too careful in the message that we send.”
"And it says he sits the children high upon his knee.
Without a doubt, this reeks of suspicious stuff to me.
No one in his right mind would parade in that disguise.
It's dirty old men like him that decent folk despise."
"And this complaint about his work shop,
Where little ones slave all round the clock,
No coffee breaks, I say there's no excuse.
His continuing labor-law abuse."
And let’s touch on a subject, that’s in the news today
That tho your elves seem jolly, they don’t seem to be gay
And I’m sure you will agree, it has to do with sex.
When one guy likes another; that has to be complex
"With Equal Opportunity, he's hit a brand new height.
All employees are wasps, what’s more, they’re blond and white.
Not one older woman, or black Hispanic male.
I see no way to keep your client out of jail."
"Please, kind Sir," said Santa, "I'd like a chance to speak.
I do not think ‘tis fair that you call me a freak.
Most kids have gone so far to calling me a saint,
But even I admit that that's a bit too quaint."
"Truth is I'm not more than a poor delivery man,
Trying to bring joy where ere I always can.
Through sleet and snow and slush and rain,
Not once have I been heard complain."
"But if it please the court, I swear
I'll change my ways, though it's unfair.
I promise to be lawful, knock on every door,
Won't slide down the chimney or land upon the floor."
"I won't kiss the Missus, just shake her hand instead.
Little kids can stand and I'll pat them on the head.
The cookies and eggnog, I'll leave for other guests.
My elves will work in shifts, with many, many rests.
"As for my hiring habits, tell you what I'll do.
I'll hire a Cuban black and a Catholic and Jew.
The deer will go to pasture; I'll put away the sleigh,
Deliv'ry in corporate trucks will route me on my way.
The Missus grabbed his butt, and gave him one big kiss.
A gentleman he was, and kissed her back polite
So if it wasn't right, it was just an oversight."
"He's innocent, I swear, there was no lewd intent.
He's a friendly guy and the Missus looked content.
Now, about the eggnog, he only took two sips,
Not a drop of hard stuff ever touched his lips.”
The old Judge looked stern and rubbed his craggy jaw.
"That may be true you say, but he broke another law.
He didn't knock on doors, but down the chimney came,
That's a crime in any court, this I do proclaim."
"And lest we not forget the damage done to roofs,
Is caused by sixteen pair of dancing reindeer hoofs.
Does he have a license for such a prancing team?
Does not this mode of travel seem to everyone extreme?"
“And for his ‘Ho, ho, ho’s,’ it's nothing we should hear,
It has another meaning, and that meaning's all too clear.
The man should be discreet, use words that don’t offend
We can’t be too careful in the message that we send.”
"And it says he sits the children high upon his knee.
Without a doubt, this reeks of suspicious stuff to me.
No one in his right mind would parade in that disguise.
It's dirty old men like him that decent folk despise."
"And this complaint about his work shop,
Where little ones slave all round the clock,
No coffee breaks, I say there's no excuse.
His continuing labor-law abuse."
And let’s touch on a subject, that’s in the news today
That tho your elves seem jolly, they don’t seem to be gay
And I’m sure you will agree, it has to do with sex.
When one guy likes another; that has to be complex
"With Equal Opportunity, he's hit a brand new height.
All employees are wasps, what’s more, they’re blond and white.
Not one older woman, or black Hispanic male.
I see no way to keep your client out of jail."
"Please, kind Sir," said Santa, "I'd like a chance to speak.
I do not think ‘tis fair that you call me a freak.
Most kids have gone so far to calling me a saint,
But even I admit that that's a bit too quaint."
"Truth is I'm not more than a poor delivery man,
Trying to bring joy where ere I always can.
Through sleet and snow and slush and rain,
Not once have I been heard complain."
"But if it please the court, I swear
I'll change my ways, though it's unfair.
I promise to be lawful, knock on every door,
Won't slide down the chimney or land upon the floor."
"I won't kiss the Missus, just shake her hand instead.
Little kids can stand and I'll pat them on the head.
The cookies and eggnog, I'll leave for other guests.
My elves will work in shifts, with many, many rests.
"As for my hiring habits, tell you what I'll do.
I'll hire a Cuban black and a Catholic and Jew.
The deer will go to pasture; I'll put away the sleigh,
Deliv'ry in corporate trucks will route me on my way.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jul 2014
About this poem:
I enjoyed the fact I could write such a funny poemPOLITICALLY CORRECT CHRISTMAS© The end
“And I’ll announce my coming with a different call,
I’ll change the ‘Ho, Ho Ho’s’…to just ‘Hello you all’!
I aim to please, not to offend
There’s not a rule that I will bend.”
" I shall not be a-judgmental; gays who they might be,
Shall decorate the mantles so bright and Christmassy.
Tis peace to all good people around our Universe
Nothing like some gaiety shall ere be deemed perverse.
These are special charges," the Judge said thoughtfully,
Times have changed, and the question is, must we?"
I should throw the book at you; I can't be more direct
Christmas must be safer, more politically correct.
" I object," the Lawyer spoke, "this man has done no wrong!
He's never had a record; he's done this all lifelong.
And how he does it in one night remains a mystery,
Please, I say, do not change the very course of history!"
Judge pondered for a moment; waived his gavel in the air,
And banged it on the bench with wise judicial flair.
Then smiled and faced the jury of his peers
Who happened to be little kids, wise beyond their years.
“It’s time for you to have your say.
Shall we send Santa on his sleigh?
Is he guilty girls and boys?”
’No,” they yelled. “We want out toys”
The judge then faced the crowd.
“Tis Christmas eve,” he spoke aloud,
“And homes across the world shine bright
Waiting for Santa to make it all alright.”
"I have made my decision. I hope you understand,"
The old Judge said, as he stood and raised his hand.
"Tis true this jolly man is really not so bad,
I will not be the one to make the children sad.
"Let's plow through all this stuff and lengthy litigation
With circumstantial evidence for each accusation,
I won't be remembered for creating Santa-cide
And terminating Christmastide."
"Santa is a good guy, which tradition does imply
I do not believe that he would stoop to tell a lie.
Nor be a risk to any one, no fine will be imposed.
This man is not guilty; I say the case be closed.
I’ll change the ‘Ho, Ho Ho’s’…to just ‘Hello you all’!
I aim to please, not to offend
There’s not a rule that I will bend.”
" I shall not be a-judgmental; gays who they might be,
Shall decorate the mantles so bright and Christmassy.
Tis peace to all good people around our Universe
Nothing like some gaiety shall ere be deemed perverse.
These are special charges," the Judge said thoughtfully,
Times have changed, and the question is, must we?"
I should throw the book at you; I can't be more direct
Christmas must be safer, more politically correct.
" I object," the Lawyer spoke, "this man has done no wrong!
He's never had a record; he's done this all lifelong.
And how he does it in one night remains a mystery,
Please, I say, do not change the very course of history!"
Judge pondered for a moment; waived his gavel in the air,
And banged it on the bench with wise judicial flair.
Then smiled and faced the jury of his peers
Who happened to be little kids, wise beyond their years.
“It’s time for you to have your say.
Shall we send Santa on his sleigh?
Is he guilty girls and boys?”
’No,” they yelled. “We want out toys”
The judge then faced the crowd.
“Tis Christmas eve,” he spoke aloud,
“And homes across the world shine bright
Waiting for Santa to make it all alright.”
"I have made my decision. I hope you understand,"
The old Judge said, as he stood and raised his hand.
"Tis true this jolly man is really not so bad,
I will not be the one to make the children sad.
"Let's plow through all this stuff and lengthy litigation
With circumstantial evidence for each accusation,
I won't be remembered for creating Santa-cide
And terminating Christmastide."
"Santa is a good guy, which tradition does imply
I do not believe that he would stoop to tell a lie.
Nor be a risk to any one, no fine will be imposed.
This man is not guilty; I say the case be closed.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jul 2014
About this poem:
It has been published and I like to make people laugh.Anyone interested in screenwriting in the Florida Clearwater area?
THE END - POLITICALLY CORRECT CHRISTMAS ©
“And I’ll announce my coming with a different call,
I’ll change the ‘Ho, Ho Ho’s’…to just ‘Hello you all’!
I aim to please, not to offend
There’s not a rule that I will bend.”
" I shall not be a-judgmental; gays who they might be,
Shall decorate the mantles so bright and Christmassy.
Tis peace to all good people around our Universe
Nothing like some gaiety shall ere be deemed perverse.
These are special charges," the Judge said thoughtfully,
Times have changed, and the question is, must we?"
I should throw the book at you; I can't be more direct
Christmas must be safer, more politically correct.
" I object," the Lawyer spoke, "this man has done no wrong!
He's never had a record; he's done this all lifelong.
And how he does it in one night remains a mystery,
Please, I say, do not change the very course of history!"
Judge pondered for a moment; waived his gavel in the air,
And banged it on the bench with wise judicial flair.
Then smiled and faced the jury of his peers
Who happened to be little kids, wise beyond their years.
“It’s time for you to have your say.
Shall we send Santa on his sleigh?
Is he guilty girls and boys?”
’No,” they yelled. “We want out toys”
The judge then faced the crowd.
“Tis Christmas eve,” he spoke aloud,
“And homes across the world shine bright
Waiting for Santa to make it all alright.”
"I have made my decision. I hope you understand,"
The old Judge said, as he stood and raised his hand.
"Tis true this jolly man is really not so bad,
I will not be the one to make the children sad.
"Let's plow through all this stuff and lengthy litigation
With circumstantial evidence for each accusation,
I won't be remembered for creating Santa-cide
And terminating Christmastide."
"Santa is a good guy, which tradition does imply
I do not believe that he would stoop to tell a lie.
Nor be a risk to any one, no fine will be imposed.
This man is not guilty; I say the case be closed.
I’ll change the ‘Ho, Ho Ho’s’…to just ‘Hello you all’!
I aim to please, not to offend
There’s not a rule that I will bend.”
" I shall not be a-judgmental; gays who they might be,
Shall decorate the mantles so bright and Christmassy.
Tis peace to all good people around our Universe
Nothing like some gaiety shall ere be deemed perverse.
These are special charges," the Judge said thoughtfully,
Times have changed, and the question is, must we?"
I should throw the book at you; I can't be more direct
Christmas must be safer, more politically correct.
" I object," the Lawyer spoke, "this man has done no wrong!
He's never had a record; he's done this all lifelong.
And how he does it in one night remains a mystery,
Please, I say, do not change the very course of history!"
Judge pondered for a moment; waived his gavel in the air,
And banged it on the bench with wise judicial flair.
Then smiled and faced the jury of his peers
Who happened to be little kids, wise beyond their years.
“It’s time for you to have your say.
Shall we send Santa on his sleigh?
Is he guilty girls and boys?”
’No,” they yelled. “We want out toys”
The judge then faced the crowd.
“Tis Christmas eve,” he spoke aloud,
“And homes across the world shine bright
Waiting for Santa to make it all alright.”
"I have made my decision. I hope you understand,"
The old Judge said, as he stood and raised his hand.
"Tis true this jolly man is really not so bad,
I will not be the one to make the children sad.
"Let's plow through all this stuff and lengthy litigation
With circumstantial evidence for each accusation,
I won't be remembered for creating Santa-cide
And terminating Christmastide."
"Santa is a good guy, which tradition does imply
I do not believe that he would stoop to tell a lie.
Nor be a risk to any one, no fine will be imposed.
This man is not guilty; I say the case be closed.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jul 2014
About this poem:
I felt much better after I got it all off my chest.... and that I made people laugh.
SINISTER SMILE
Sinister grin am still your kin fought him off as best you could screams so loud yet not a sound gab something any thing slap to her face tears down her cheek please not you not me not you. Sinister grin am still your kin let me go or i will let mama know release me now prisoner of your unkind deed someone save me save she plead shaking still clothes all torn blood so warm wondering why why .... Sinister grin am still your kin never again would she alone always make sure your wife is at home a few year earlyier i should of guest when you saw her undress.Sinister grin am still your kin etched in my mind forever now can't shake the feeling your watching me some how beyond grave OH HOW I HATE THOSE DAYS SINISTER GRIN YOU AIN'T MY KIN
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Aug 2014
About this poem:
It's about lost CHILDHOOD.
A Romance To Remember
Tis day I first saw you,
I gazed upon your heavenly eyes.
they sparkled like diamonds within the night sky.
I took thine hand as if I already knew,
Fate hath brought us together, thus I had to pursue.
This love that I have given thee to share,
it be my ultimate gift, I give to my Lady fair.
doth mine passion ignite,
like a flame burning ever so bright.
You gave me a wink as if you wanted to dance.
I then made my move, the start of our romance.
I touched your face ever so soft.
as I walked you back to your loft.
The still of the night was sweet and pure.
We made love tenderly as now You were mine and I was now your's.
We courted for at least a year hath passed.
until thee wedding bells announced a love to everlast.
~ FIN ~
I gazed upon your heavenly eyes.
they sparkled like diamonds within the night sky.
I took thine hand as if I already knew,
Fate hath brought us together, thus I had to pursue.
This love that I have given thee to share,
it be my ultimate gift, I give to my Lady fair.
doth mine passion ignite,
like a flame burning ever so bright.
You gave me a wink as if you wanted to dance.
I then made my move, the start of our romance.
I touched your face ever so soft.
as I walked you back to your loft.
The still of the night was sweet and pure.
We made love tenderly as now You were mine and I was now your's.
We courted for at least a year hath passed.
until thee wedding bells announced a love to everlast.
~ FIN ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Sep 2014
About this poem:
I am an Amateur Poet that probably in another life was famous for it. (So people online have told me) all my work comes from my heart and mind. It is original not plagerized. I basically just put the words together and they flow to me. I do mostly lyrical poems and song lyrics also. I'm a man full of creativity. Just waiting to share it with some special lady. :)
I do believe
I do believe the Lord above created you for me to love, I think that he knew best because he made you better then all the rest.I has a hea et n it was true but now it's gone from me to you, so take good care as I have done for you have two n I have none,if I should die and go up there, I'll wait for you at the golden stairs, if your not there bye judgment day I'll know you went the other way, I'd give those angels back there wings golden hearts n all those thing things to prove my love for you is true joleene I'd search the fires of hell for you
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Sep 2014
About this poem:
Just a poem about my go I lost in a wreck
Without You
Without You, How Did I Live Like This?
How Did I Live Without You?
Without You, How Did I Live Like This?
How Did I Live Without You?
With Your Memories,My Nights Passed – 2
The Moonlight Talks To Me About You
My Nights Are Lonely With Out You
My Days Aren’t Like Days
Lonely Body, Lonely Soul, My Eyes Stay Wet
Come By Me Now
I Don’t Want To Live Without You Without You, How Did I Live Like This?
How Did I Live Without You?
Without You, How Did I Live Like This?
How Did I Live Without You?
Since When Are My Eyes Layed In Your Path?
Atleast Let Me Meet You Somewhere Accidently
I Can’t Forget Your Words
My Eyes Are Wet Every Second
Why Should I Breath? Why Should I Live?
Living Feels Bad
Why Did You Become Unfaithful, Tell Me The Reason
Without You, How Did I Live Like This?
How Did I Live Without You…
Without You, How Did I Live Like This?
How Did I Live Without You…
How Did I Live Without You?
Without You, How Did I Live Like This?
How Did I Live Without You?
With Your Memories,My Nights Passed – 2
The Moonlight Talks To Me About You
My Nights Are Lonely With Out You
My Days Aren’t Like Days
Lonely Body, Lonely Soul, My Eyes Stay Wet
Come By Me Now
I Don’t Want To Live Without You Without You, How Did I Live Like This?
How Did I Live Without You?
Without You, How Did I Live Like This?
How Did I Live Without You?
Since When Are My Eyes Layed In Your Path?
Atleast Let Me Meet You Somewhere Accidently
I Can’t Forget Your Words
My Eyes Are Wet Every Second
Why Should I Breath? Why Should I Live?
Living Feels Bad
Why Did You Become Unfaithful, Tell Me The Reason
Without You, How Did I Live Like This?
How Did I Live Without You…
Without You, How Did I Live Like This?
How Did I Live Without You…
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Sep 2014
Post Comment
not thought of it
Sleep well throughout the night
Don't be disturbed or be in fright
Wake up Dear Canary,
The sky is bright
Wake up Dear Canary,
Get ready for your flight
The world is all set for your sight
Don't be disturbed or be in fright
Wake up Dear Canary,
The sky is bright
Wake up Dear Canary,
Get ready for your flight
The world is all set for your sight
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Sep 2014
Post Comment
Thank you (Haiku)
In gratitude for
All the poets who share their
Words with everyone
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Oct 2014
About this poem:
So much talent crosses this corner, I am thankful!
Ghost
I thought I saw a ghost last night
Flicker out like candle light
Then softly glow behind a tree
And reaching out, it beckoned me.
I felt a tugging at my heart
And soon my world came apart
Like spider webs on rainy days
And tattered clouds o'er windy bays.
And as I watched the eerie glow
I thought of things I used to know
Like friends once close that now have gone
Or words to ancient, nameless songs.
But when I tried to walk that way
The light grew dim and could not stay
Attached to common earthly things,
And flew away on angel wings.
Now all I have are empty fears
Of moonlit nights and passing years
And all that you could give to me
Will never serve to set me free
Flicker out like candle light
Then softly glow behind a tree
And reaching out, it beckoned me.
I felt a tugging at my heart
And soon my world came apart
Like spider webs on rainy days
And tattered clouds o'er windy bays.
And as I watched the eerie glow
I thought of things I used to know
Like friends once close that now have gone
Or words to ancient, nameless songs.
But when I tried to walk that way
The light grew dim and could not stay
Attached to common earthly things,
And flew away on angel wings.
Now all I have are empty fears
Of moonlit nights and passing years
And all that you could give to me
Will never serve to set me free
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Nov 2014
About this poem:
Written on Halloween night, of course. I just took an idea I had and ran with it. I have since converted it to a song.I just realized I left a verse off. Fixed now.
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