I hate to tell you this Awesome....but my thread about the Lottery was more serious research than frivolity....I won a huge jackpot this Friday...I simply don't know what to do with it.....I was hoping for some good ideas from you all.....this new-found wealth.... Will this spoil our budding friendship??..I was hoping you would want me more for my body, not my money........
Tropical, white sand, good fishing, air conditioning, veueve Cliquot champagne, beautiful women, good weather, scintillating company, low taxes, a hammock in the shade, good bakers bread....sounds like Malta!!!.....
Nah, the people are great....that's why we all want to go there!!...just get rid of the rampaging elephants of Gozo, the beached whales in bikinis, and the pods of killer sharks, and you'll have paradise....
Seems so....must've been that crash-course in "Animal Attraction" I took last time with Sir Rickety Knight in Gozo....since then every dog in my neighbourhood tries to hump my leg as I walk by....
At the moment we have the "Euromillions" Lottery going here in Europe....next Friday's draw has a Jackpot of almost 200 million!! (i think)...what would you do if you won, say, Euro 10 million???
Sir Wayward on a nudist beast...??...sorry, beach??...shiver me timbers, lord no!!...I imagined him more in knickerbockers and pith helmet hunting down errant pachyderms in the footy hills of the Tirol!!...
In Switzerland, the shops are closed on Sunday, people leave work at 5pm, lazy people can live comfortably off welfare, even take international holidays, and the cafés always seem to be full....and nobody seems happy....if there is a rat race going on, it's not here, or am I just cynical....??
A blonde is driving down the freeway in her car when her boyfriend calls on the cell phone. When she picks up the phone he says, "Hi honey, it's me, I just wanted to call and tell you to be careful, it says on the news that there is a car driving the wrong way on the freeway."
She says, "There's not one, there's hundreds of them!!"
Good morning dear Awesome!! Well, risking a dog and cat fight here, we could argue all day about the pros and cons of owning either....let's just say that both have their moments...and I'll agree with you that animals save the lives of their owners.....I think a lot of old people would die without their pets....if you want a really contentious animal-rights story....check out :
The Killing Fields of South Africa: Elephants in the Crosshairs of Extinction
Yeah, most men are dogs, but all can be domesticated, unlike cats, who are very much like women, and essentially always remain wild animals. All they really want from a human is to be fed, provide a place to live, and be there when they want some affection, all on their terms....they can be utterly ruthless, watch a cat play with a mouse, and if you don't buy the right sort of cat food, they defect without a second thought and start sleeping at the neighbours house...
Exactly my point....more women tourists, and fetching russian students are reporting mysterious cases of pregnancy after spending time in Malta...it is thought that with so many spores floating around, a woman could actually conceive by simply taking a bus ride... Maltese men are known for their high potency, and thier proclivity to sow spores...another theory maintains that spores are carried on the wind at night. Advice to travellers to Malta....close your window, or sleep in your underwear...so Malta is becoming known as the Bermuda Triangle of Conception....
Yeah, it's unlawful...very strict....so people procreate by secretly transferring spores when shaking hands....you see a lot of that there...if the women is laughing, and the handshake lasts longer than normal, then you know for sure that they're at it...
A prosperous and somewhat amorous businessman propositioned a beautiful chorus girl of well-proportioned figure to spend the night with him for $500.
When he was ready to leave the next morning, certain things having transpired, he told her he didn't have that much money with him, but would have his secretary mail her a check for it, made out with a memo of RENT FOR APARTMENT, to avoid any embarrassment.
On the way to the office, however, after thinking the matter over carefully, he decided the night hadn't been worth what he’d agreed to pay. As a result, he had his secretary send a check for $250 instead, and enclosed the following explanatory note:
Dear Madam:
"Enclosed is a cheque for the amount of $250 for rent on your apartment. I am sending this amount instead of the amount originally agreed upon, because when I rented this apartment, I was under the impression that...
1. It had never been occupied 2. There was plenty of heat 3. It was small
Last night, I found that it had been occupied many times, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large!"
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check, with this note:
"I am returning the check for $250. I cannot understand how you could expect such a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied. As for the heat... there is plenty of it there if you know how to turn it on. As for the size, it's not my fault if you didn't have enough furniture to fill it."
Lagoona22 Forum Posts (10,711)
Congratulations!! You won the Lottery!!!
Sorry...correction....read "MIND" instead of "BODY".....thanks...