So are you saying that it all comes down to no having a wife as the reason for your insomnia? If that is the case, then you may have to get some advice from the men on what is the proper way to handle the situation. If you have that problem,, then no doubt millions of men worldwide also deal with the issue.
And no, I'm not laughing at your situation. I have a son and I know the emotions he goes through when he doesn't have a girlfriend.
Another thing that sometimes works Mnowsa when you can't sleep at night is to go outside in the natural sunlight the next day. Stay outside for as long as possible. Then as the evening sets in and your hormone melatonin is starting to secrete, you will start to feel tired natually. That is when to finally put everything down, shut off the TV, put the computer away and quit worrying that you are going to miss something on the computer or on the TV. Everything will still be there on the TV and computer the next day. Sometimes the TV shows are very addicting to watch...especially the TV crime shows. However, these shows always do replays so you can see them another time.
It think our minds become bombared and overstimulated on a daily basis with everything that is going on around us. Bombarding us with TV news, shows, radio, newspapers and computers. And I think the overload sometimes tends to play on our minds and overworry us.
I find every so often, I have to reset my sleep pattern by literally going out into the sunlight and enjoying nature. Just watching nature's wildlife creatures and natural rocks, sand and forest can be so relaxing.
Sorry to hear that you aren't sleeping much lately. I also have a problem with falling asleep or staying asleep. I wake up every night in a hot flash which is normal for us women around my age. It is not a bad hot flash but just a little bit annoying. I usually fall back asleep eventually.
In the past, I have also found that I have a difficult time falling and staying asleep if I was on a diet and the weight was coming off too fast. Some of the other things that affect my ability to go to sleep are light, drinking or eating anything with caffeine after a certain time of day or even eating sweet stuff before going to bed. Even decaffeinated drinks have some small amounts of caffeine in them and affect me.
What I found that helps me fall asleep believe it or not is to force myself to go for a long walk. Being it's very cold here, I get tired out a bit quicker. I listen to my body cues and when it says it's tired, I lie in bed, shut out the lights and resist the temptation to turn on the TV.
Also, if I do watch TV, the later I stay awake, the more it shifts my sleep pattern. Even if I go to bed late, I usaully still wake up the same time everyday. It has to do with the natural outside light that seeps through my window shades that wakes me up.
Sometimes, a side effect of some medications is also insomnia.
I wish you the very best to finally get into a deep sleep mode. I know what it is like not to sleep. After awhile, your mind is going crazy and you're grieving to be able to sleep. It is critically important for our survival.
Nette, you are right on with your view on education. My elderly aunt who never went on to get a formal education beyond high school gave me son some pearls of wisdom. She told him the following, "Get an education or you will be dirt under someone's feet someday." And she did not mean any old education either. She meant to study in a field where you can either be in business for yourself or take your knowledge, add on to it or find a field where you can make a living and support yourself.
To have no education at all, there is a chance that you will be taken advantage of in life and that leads to all types of problems that go with a person's sense of self esteem and even health issues that can ensue.
Are you talking about the WWF Wrestling Federation wrestler called the Undertaker? Ewww, he was very ugly in appearance indeeed. His manager was Pall Bearer.
I think you may have been taken in by one of the site's scammers that go in and out of these sites trolling for victims. I get letters asking for marriage and love all the time. They use flattering words to try and lure you and then hand you fake promises and some kind of hard luck story.
If this is what you have gotten, report them and move on. Don't fall for them as they are very phony indeed.
But yes, there are some really serious and beautiful relationships that have come about from meeting people on this site. I should know...mine is going strong for 3 1/2 yrs now.
BTW, I deliberately changed my profile to run off the scammers. After getting 16 scam letters in a 3 day period, I'd had enough. I'm not looking to meet any new men for a relationship. One is good enough.
Now if this man of 3 1/2 yrs was not in my life, you can be sure that I have seen and even spoken to a few other guys on this site who has caught my attention. But of course they will never know I ever had given them any thoughts.
I am respectful enough to remain faithful to my relationship and in no way will I ever stray. It is the same way that my guy is when I am not around.
So yes...you can find a good person on this site. There are many true and wonderful women here. Get involved in the forums and you will be able to see the personalities of many people. Good luck to you.
One random act of kindness for someone who was really in dire straits in the doc's office.
In my field in the Electronic Health Record Implementation training, I just finished a lengthy homework assignment putting in over 40 hrs on it, redesigning a patient's office visit from the time they walk into the office till they walk out of the office. I addressed the fact that patients upon checking in with the front desk receptionist should be given hand held user friendly computers to input their medical information in rather than these extensive pages of paperwork to fill out.
I addressed that these computer systems had to be either voice activated, color screen changeability, font size enlargements and even language adaptable for people who don't speak english. So this would encompass people who are deaf, blind, and even language challenged. I'm not sure if there are braille option computers for the blind for filling in medical history. But the color screen changes can adapt for brightness or even for color blind people.
After today's experience with this elderly man, I realized that my ideas of a best case scenario computer design at check in were very much needed. And I just finished up analyzing a make believe practice and diagraming a best case practce work flow and office visit.
I'm very glad that everyone is enjoying these small snippets of real life experiences. A very dear friend sent these to me and I felt they were too priceless not to share them withe everyone.
As I read them over again tonight, I realized that today I also gave a special moment of time to an elderly man in my opthalmologist's office. He had cataract surgery and had some complications. When he came back, the receptionist gave him a clipboard of medical history sheets to fill out but he said he needed help because he couldn't see. She told him to do the best he could.
I said to him, "I'll help you." And so I did. Not only could he not see, he couldn't hear well and his memory was also somewhat impaired. So he had to pull out some medical history information he kept in his wallet and I filled in the sheets for him.
He was so grateful for the assistance I gave him. Being a nurse for 20 yrs, I well understood everything that was on the medical history sheets. Even while I was taken in and then sat in a dark waiting area for awhile, he also was seated there across from me after he was taken in. Again, he was thanking me and saying he was so worried that no one would make the time to help him.
I guess I did a random act of kindness for a complete stranger in a moment of need. This brought to mind some of the 5 ways I wrote about in this thread to treat someone.
Somehow I know I did the right thing for this elderly man.
3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those Who serve. In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, A 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and Sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in Front of him.
"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and Studied the coins in it.
"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the Waitress was growing impatient.. "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins.
"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.
The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on The table and walked away The boy finished the ice Cream, paid the cashier and left.. When the waitress Came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the Table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, Were two nickels and five pennies..
Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a Roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if Anyone would remove the huge rock.
Some of the King's' wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by And simply walked around it.. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did Anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of Vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded.
After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.
The peasant learned what many of us never understand!
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts... Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness.
The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to save his sister.
I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her."
As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.
He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student in college and studied hard for my exams.
I had breezed through the questions until I read The last one:
"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the Cleaning woman several times. She was tall, Dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her name?
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question Blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if The last question would count toward our quiz grade.
"Absolutely, " said the professor.. "In your careers, You will meet many people. All are significant.. They Deserve your attention and care, even if all you do Is smile and say "hello.."
I've never forgotten that lesson.. I also learned her Name was Dorothy.
2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain
One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American Woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway Trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had Broken down and she desperately needed a ride.
Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally Unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man Took her to safety, helped her get assistance and Put her into a taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his Address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a Knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a Giant console color TV was delivered to his home.
A Special note was attached.
It read:
"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway The other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along.
Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying Husband's' bedside just before he passed away... God Bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving Others."
Based on your other thread regarding discrimination, I have a feeling that you were subtley telling us what illness you have been battling for quite awhile now.
Mnowsa has been a CS member for a very long time. We have had different political views but rest be assured, if he called me dear, I would not take it as an offense. He is truly one of the very politest,nicest and decent guys on the forums. One of the CS gems for sure amongst the many male gems that are here.
The scammers that email us with the Dearie lines make me puke. And the rest of their Dearie email is dribble.
Here's a hug to you Mnowsa. Hope this will be a good start to your day.
What the heck is going on in this world with all the bird and fish die offs lately? This is truly getting very scary. Here is an article on CBS News today that I just read. I really don't think that these die offs are just a natural occurance in the birds and fish. Yes, we did have the honey bee colony collapse for a period of time but this is totally something not natural overall in my opinion. Some might be natural due to weather changes but the worldwide phenomenon now occurring with the same overall symptoms doesn't quite add up right.
(CBS) The estimated two million dead fish found floating in the Chesapeake Bay in Maryland recently are not another sign of the apocalypse, but were instead probably killed by the cold weather, officials told The Baltimore Sun.
Water quality was also ruled out as a possible culprit for the mass die-off of mostly spot and some croaker fish, the Sun reports.
Spot fish are notorious for being vulnerable to the cold, and large winter kills of spot have been documented in Maryland at least twice before, a Maryland Department of the Environment spokeswoman told the Sun, with about 15 million dying in early 1976 and a smaller number in 1980.
The mass Chesapeake fish die-off joins a growing list of reports from around the globe of mysterious fish and bird deaths.
Dozens of Dead Birds Baffle Swedish City Louisiana Latest Place to Rain Dead Birds Dead Birds and Fish in Arkansas
Brazilian authorities also reported recently that fishermen found several tons of dead fish, sardines mostly, near the port of Paranagua, reports the website Mediaite. Authorities there are investigating the reason for the deaths.
In New Zealand, Fisheries officials are investigating the death of hundreds of snapper near Coromandel Peninsula beaches, reports the daily New Zealand Herald. Beachgoers found the fish many with their eyes missing - dead on the sand.
Oh my goodness. Loved his song Stuck in the Middle With You. It's a classic. I love to drive along the roads and howl along to the oldies of our generation Pat. I believe he was of our 1970s vintage.
Darn it, another one of us bites the dust. The music of today just doesn't have the jump sounds of our generation. Even alot of the disco sounds had a cool beat. Too much rap crap noise mixed in today.
Some of the younger people in their 20s have told me that they wished they could have been born in our generation to really get the feeling of the music and era when it was first out. Funny, these kids seem to know all the words to these songs and will sing along when it is on the radio too.
Do ya think that maybe there is a genetic trait for the larger foxes in your area? By me, foxes definitely do not get that big. Wonder if the breed of fox in your area has mated with coyotes or some type of compatible animal in your area? Or are they eating livestock or animals that have been fed growth hormones?
I've worn glasses since I was 11 yrs old. I'm afraid of anyone poking around with my eyes even though I know that eventually the docs will have to in time. I found out that I have cataracts. The docs cannot do Lasik surgery with cataracts in place. When cataracts are removed, then they do some kind of corrective surgery with the lens implant too. Sometimes you only need the glasses for reading after that. Right now, I wear a lined trifocal lens for close up, intermediate and long distance.
BTW, I think guys are pretty good looking with the right glasses for their face. Actually, I think they enhance a person's appearance, not detract. If you know that you are of good quality and a good catch, don't worry about a girl who isn't lookin at you because of your glasses. She's shallow. Eventually, she too will be wearing glasses. We all get older but what's in your heart and soul is what is going to be the most attractive when it comes to someone looking for real perfection.
So overall, don't let anyone poke around with your eyes until you really need to have them worked on in life. If there is one screw up mistake, you are visually impaired much more in life than you are right now. I wouldn't take that chance for vanity. Wear the glasses. JMHO.
I have not seen such a large wild fox in our area as what is described in this news story. I usually see the smaller red foxes. However, we do have some big coyotes that are the size of big dogs that lumbar into our neighborhoods and will kill off cats and dogs. Very few dogs can defend themselves against coyotes.
Just wondering, are foxes this size very common worldwide or is this just an unusual rare occurance in the UK?
Posted by Joshua Norman CBS News Jan 2 2011
A 4-foot, 26.5-pound male fox, twice the normal size of an adult fox, was trapped and killed over the weekend in Maidstone, England, about 30 miles southeast of London, reports the U.K. daily Telegraph newspaper.
The giant fox is a possible indication of many scientists' fears that, as wild animals get better access to the easy food pickings found in human garbage, they will get larger in size, the Telegraph reports.
English veterinarian Keith Talbot decided to set out a fox trap when he heard his parent's beloved 19-year-old tabby cat had been mauled and eaten.
When Talbot's parents went to bed, the cat was sitting on their doormat, reports the U.K. daily The Sun.
However, when his parents woke up the next morning, "there was fur and bits of the cat everywhere," Talbot told The Sun.
The giant fox was trapped with another normal size fox, and both were put down "in a humane way," reports the Telegraph.
There are thought to be at least 34,000 urban foxes in Britain, the Telegraph reports.
The giant fox may just add to growing public fears of fox and human run-ins after a report in June, 2010, of a fox sneaking into a London home and mauling infant twins in their crib.
Animal rights campaigners proclaim that most foxes live on insects and small mammals and pose no harm to humans unless they are frightened, reports the Telegraph.
Jews are not a race of people but a religion with a common cultural heritage that evolves around biblical traditions. The last I knew, Jews were identified in the different races of man.
Surely you have seen Ethiopean Jews, Middleastern Jews, European Jews, Oriental Jews, Russian Jews, Spanish Jews.
I believe what the issue is not mixing the different cultures which is where the cultural identity clash is. The issue is preserving one's cultural identity in a country where it is such a volatile issue.
It is not uncommon to have difficulty distinguishing racially a middleastern arab guy from a middleastern Israeli guy. Both have the dark skin, dark eyes, dark hair. And both are usually very handsome and slick talking too.
The saying that when an apple is ripe it will fall is also used as with an analogy that when a baby is ready, it will be born. Sorry if I didn't make that clear.
I wish a healthy mother, baby and grandmother all the way throughout this time.
My best guess is "When the apple is ripe, it will fall." And the baby will be born. That's about the most accurate timing I can predict providing there is nothing hindering it from coming down.
Ah, now I understand what you mean by maddness. I have to agree with you that we all probably have some of that within us. Perhaps that is driven by our genetic hormonal shifts as well as our social and environmental exposures early on in life. I do believe they play a part to some extent in your definition of maddness. But the rest of life experiences and who we relationship up with at any given point also work to help us in deciding whether or not doing something off the boring beaten track is properly socially appropriate. Those actions or decisions are what we have to wrestle with in our conscience.
Our complement in life is not a random occurance if we are on the lookout(even obscurely)looking for the right person in life. We are raised in a world of relationships. Even most creatures in the wild are raised in a world of their own relationships. I believe our complement has to already be ready made, not where you build them to what you want. You cannot build your partner from scratch to be the person you want them to be...that part has to come from within them. The same goes to say that no one can make you become the person they want. You have to already have that inside you and all the important ingredients in place that are also important to them. Then you will have a better chance at success.
I have no doubt that you have the right ingredients that it takes for a successful relationship. Cheers!
I'm not sure what you quite mean by maddness Antjo.
What do you think about this idea? I think that one of the important things in a relationship is that our weaknesses should be the other person's strengths. In that way, we are a complement to support each other, not an antagonist to each other. Like if one is more patient and the other is more impatient and gets frustrated easier. The more patient one can perhaps help him through the frustrating times. If both people were terribly impatient, they might wind up fighting constantly. Not a good recipe for a calm healthy relationship and possibly it would end in a breakup.
Negative thinking is a recipe for disaster. If you say it long enough, you may tend to believe it as being a truth and it will block you from ever succeeding in a relationship.
Life, genetics & relationships are very complex. Consider perhaps the recipe for success....kinda like a delicious soup recipe. If you say that recipe long enough and know what ingredients you want and need, you will be more open and able to see if those ingredients are in the other person in the first place. If they are lacking, then you don't want to even start a relationship with them otherwise you will be dissappointed.
Also I do believe that even finding the one with your right recipe, it takes alot of work for both to add to it to keep on improving it. Kinda like a recipe for life, love and happiness. The final taste and aroma will be right for the both of you. That is the recipe for success in relationships.
Any couple who has been married for many years and still has that twinkle of love in their eyes for each other knows well about the successful recipe that works for them.
You asked about genetics and I believe there is a connection between that and relationships as you have brought up. Hormones are part of our genetic makeup and affect our thinking process. Hormones may play some part in why people have a difficult time staying in a relationship. Some women can be very moody on a monthly basis where others are not. All men go through the andropause...the male version of the change of life but all behavior is not the same for all men. In our country, it is not uncommon that lots of marriages fall apart at this time as many men start running around on their spouses, dress flashy, play the big shot of sorts with flashy vehicles, boats, motorcycles to attract a young woman conquest. As their hormones start to decrease, some feel an urge to do something to prove themselves as still very verile. Some women go through chasing after younger men around menopause. Although not every person goes through it like this, we all do feel some changes about themselves as we age and it is these hormonal shifts that affect our thinking and our relationships.
Add to it that some of the lack of success in realationships may be planted as memories in our minds through the environment and experiences we've been accustomed to growing up with. A person may model themselves after what they feel is proper at the moment and not worry about the future. But then after awhile, the future does come to be the present and then they realize that life has rushed by them and they are alone.
I wish you happiness in your life. You're a great guy and deserve the best only. Keep your recipe positive
Take my ex-husband with the loss of his oldest son. I accompanied him on several occassions as he tenderly took care of the ground around the gravestone. He always put on a staunch face but the pain never left him even after so many years. He never forget the loss. Truly, he never had words to explain to me the feeling of the loss of a child.
I feel that there are no spoken words because I believe those words are silent words within the parent's heart. And possibly only a parent who has gone through this can truly understand those silent words. The love bonding of a parent to a child has a language of it's own in this instance.
LILLYLADY Forum Posts (1,293)
Hope this will be a good start to your day. 
RE: can't sleep but can't be up either.
So are you saying that it all comes down to no having a wife as the reason for your insomnia? If that is the case, then you may have to get some advice from the men on what is the proper way to handle the situation. If you have that problem,, then no doubt millions of men worldwide also deal with the issue.And no, I'm not laughing at your situation. I have a son and I know the emotions he goes through when he doesn't have a girlfriend.