My divorce was about 10 years ago, I was pretty much your age.
The events leading up to our estrangement and subsequent divorce had left me completely emotionally disconnected from her. I was still both relieved, and devastated by our divorce.
I don't have children, so I can't help there. I can't imagine what it would be like going through a divorce with kids. I'm sorry you're experiencing that.
Oscillating between relief and sadness sound pretty normal to me though.
If you find yourself having trouble getting it out of your mind, you know to get to sleep and such. I found positive classical music helped. Look for stuff labelled "major" not "minor", during the day(think..."I Giorni" by Ludovico Einaudi), and white noise at night.
Outside my intimate relationships, very little good comes of telling others when I'm struggling. I've never been offered a job, or a promotion because I'm feeling overwhelmed, or insecure, or sad.
It's much the same with women. Once they're emotionally invested in me, there's an upside to letting them in, but before that? I might as well just shoot myself in the foot.
It's different in relationships, but expressing vulnerability still carries the very real risk of loss of value to our partners.
I make it a point to try and make eye contact with other shoppers when I go grocery shopping. I shop here a sort of rust belt past it's prime factory town, and in a nearby much more affluent, liberal and culturally diverse college town.
I can get all the way through my trip without anyone returning eye contact here, that hasn't happened yet in the college town.
I've also noticed the shorter my hair is, the better I'm groomed, the better I'm dressed, and the more closely I'm shaven...the more eye contact I get, and the more conversations I end up in.
You may have unrealistic expectations of who you'll be attractive to, or you may be doing something counterproductive with women you're attracted to, that you don't do with women you you're not attracted to.
Most barn/farm cats will hunt even if you feed them.
Feeding them will encourage them to stay around even when the hunting is not good. They can be good to have around. To keep the rodent population down.
If the cat's only given to eating the babies, I'd look to keep the cat away from them. I'd probably use a wire mesh fence with gaps too small for the cat's paw to reach through. I'd probably cover the pen with the same mesh. You could throw some straw or a board over one corner of the pen for a little shade.
If you don't have tight mesh fencing handy, double fencing will accomplish the same thing.
If you don't want the cat around and don't want to kill it.
I think any kind of notification system, would get abused/manipulated.
I'd have a strong preference for the hiding of profiles not logged into in over a month, but I can't see any of the "smaller" sites doing that. Those inactive profiles make sites like this appear busier than they really are.
There is a cost associated with the data in those empty/disused profiles being distributed to users. If there wasn't a perceived benefit to the site, it wouldn't be happening.
I do find it interesting that both negative experiences involved a third party. There might be a clue in there as which gear is loose in his head(<---That's highly technical behavioral psychology talk I know, but don't be intimidated I'm just a person like any other. )
As for how to deal with him?
I'd probably do my best to stay calm, it is his issues.
There's a thing there, about him needing to team up with the first guy, and then apologize to you, and then try a little too hard to be right in front of another third party, and then over react when when he got caught out being at best socially clumsy.
Feels like a try hard-ish/stakes a little artificially high
When people make no one/everyone statements, generally the first thing I think is, they don't know everyone, so they may or may not be right about others, but they're probably right about themselves.
Which is to say, if a person can not conceive of another being something,
they are almost certainly not that way themselves.
I think the same thing when I read "everyone lies", "every one would cheat if they thought they'd get away with it", or "no one's that nice".
Ocee102 Forum Posts (1,399)
)
RE: Final cut
My divorce was about 10 years ago, I was pretty much your age.The events leading up to our estrangement and subsequent divorce had left me completely emotionally disconnected from her. I was still both relieved, and devastated by our divorce.
I don't have children, so I can't help there. I can't imagine what it would be like going through a divorce with kids. I'm sorry you're experiencing that.
Oscillating between relief and sadness sound pretty normal to me though.
If you find yourself having trouble getting it out of your mind, you know to get to sleep and such. I found positive classical music helped. Look for stuff labelled "major" not "minor", during the day(think..."I Giorni" by Ludovico Einaudi), and white noise at night.