men's praise
This is when I was younger...much younger.I didn't realize that men required/need/deeply appreciate (to a psychological level at times) praise from their woman. I am willing to bet that many men did not realize that either.
How could we? Well, I will actually speak from my perspective...how would I? I only dated one woman in my life...it lasted 13 years, but I never dated many women. That is not the way I am wired. I respect a relationship and everything about it. Now of course, there are some men out there that have different wiring than myself; however, I think the topic of this blog is still relevant to you as well.
Okay, back to it then. I didn't realize that men required praise from their woman. It is healthy for a man's self-esteem, his motivation to succeed, to be happy, to be the best possible self he can be. There is nothing wrong with a man being all these things....is there?
The reason why I bring this up is because back in the day, when I was in the middle of that 13 year relationship, I had heard on many occasions from the woman I was dating, she would tell me, "I am not going to give you praise." At the time, I thought to myself, I am not asking for any praise. I am going to continue on with my success and what I am doing in life with our without your praise...needless to say, I was not doing these things for her praise anyway. It was for survival in this tough world.
However...just moments ago I was listening to a pod cast by a certain somebody
...I won't mention his name...and he had a whole show about praise....and how not only women should praise their man, but they should also praise their man in public. The bottom line...it was an ironic event, and I am thinking there must be something to it...my ex-gf used that exact word back then, and today that blogger used the same word. There must be some importance to it.
P.R.A.I.S.E.
Public display of following traits.
Respect
Accepting
Investing
Sacrificing
Enthusiastically
What do you think men and women....should women praise their man?
....also I would like to ask...
What does it mean if they don't praise you?
or
What does it mean if they do praise you?
If your woman is not "investing" in you, is that a troubling sign for the relationship?
Of course, this topic of praise is about a high value man...a man who is not toxic in anyway....
Comments (91)
It is nice seeing you.
You bring up something that has sparked a question with me. I think men are very comfortable with handing out compliments and praise to a woman....their woman. However, are women comfortable handing it out to a man...their man?
The question is then...who gives out more praise, men or women?
That was a loaded comment for sure but it would an oversight to not mention that society is now acknowledging polyamory.
Not exactly sure how many of each gender it requires with this form of praise fullfillment.
Don't you think that's kinda controlling?
And Johnny, do you really need to be praised in public?
A traditional man used to do her same for her.It did strengthen their bond and
their values were open.
The acceptance and respect for them by both families or mutual friends was open too.
(the PR.A.I.S.E. podcaster is not simply a Christian.He is a mature man that is pointed about the vast differences between traditional values and the norms that new couples or singles publicly proclaim and derive from social media approval, which changes more rapidly than the relationship itself).
A decade ago this would be comparable to self help advice or relationship tips from women's magazines in lieu of letting parents or pastors know you had any need for counsel.
Until my own mother passed I asked her advice on matters,
never believing she was perfect
or the only resource.It was passed down to me and very
similar to this Podcaster's observations.I share these values with my only daughter.
Or the old ones.
Don't you think that's kinda controlling?
And Johnny, do you really need to be praised in public?
To your question:
"In other words is loss of affection, or alienation, the
withholding of touch and
praise, two important aspects of nurturing a relationship."
I think the absence of those two things (praise and touch) are side effects of loss of affection.
I would think with affection, praise and touch should be just automatic.
Like CC had mentioned...and I agree with him. It should be just natural in a loving relationship.
The praise should just come naturally...like CC has pointed out. He is right, it should not have to be asked for. The public or otherwise praise should just be a sign of a healthy relationship...and it works as an acknowledgement of the appreciation one's partner has for them.
Do I need public praise? To answer that...I would say need...no I don't need it. Would it be appreciated, sure it would be.
Praise from a manipulative person...probably would not be appreciated too much.
just some Christmas advice.
Public display of following traits.
Respect
Accepting
Investing
Sacrificing
Enthusiastically
How do you think a woman should make a public display of accepting?
How do you think a woman should make public display of investing?
How do you think a woman should make a public display of sacrificing?
How do you think a woman should make a public display of enthusiastically?
There is nothing wrong with swap meet duct tape. It is perfect for taping that sock in just the right place.
Everything is situational...but it all should be done with love.
Everything is situational...but it all should be done with love.
I think I am being a bit intuitive here....but, I am thinking any example I give you, I am sure there will be about 20 things wrong with it.
I think my general comments describes my position, thoughts, and importance of the original blog topic.
C.C.
Thank you for your food for thought. It is something to take some time up to fully understand the depth of your message. ....appreciate it.
etc..etc.. Okay, back to it then. I didn't realize that men required praise from their woman. It is healthy for a man's self-esteem, his motivation to succeed, to be happy, to be the best possible self he can be.. etc etc..
and how not only women should praise their man, but they should also praise their man in public.. etc.. etc
How do you think a woman should make a public display of respect?
How do you think a woman should make a public display of accepting?
How do you think a woman should make public display of investing?
How do you think a woman should make a public display of sacrificing?
How do you think a woman should make a public display of enthusiastically?
An example for each one will be fine, just to give me an idea.
Guess what?
He gave me his opinion. He saw the issues, not from a man's perspective but from Johnny's possible point of view. We had arguments about certain things, mostly related to the "public display" thingy. However, my Giant was really good (which has made me admire him more and more). He gave me logical examples. Now I got a better understanding.
I thought I might have been missing something with Kal.
If you asked me that question, then it would be exactly the same as if Jac asked me the "logical examples" when it's only Johnny who can answer the question.
Some questions needs answers which are not as simple as just that. Finding more explanation is one of ways to get better understanding. Like I said in my comment, I had arguments with my Giant when we discussed the matter.
Have a nice weekend, everyone!
I have to say a big thank you to you.
All you are doing is validating this information that I am sharing....and again, I thank you for that.
Thanks Kal and Sea.
This share starts after a few minutes of chat,and is a reminder that the younger males have less male mentoring or male role models in youth.
As a single mom observing how other women dealt with this, raising up a fine young man is apparent. Each generation that passes has lost some of this wisdom.
It even comes down to just the basics as the men's comments to this video attest to this.
Albeit in many cultures the children were informed initially by women,(nutured)and that has changed.Then a male went into a rite of passage phase learning skills from the males
and that has changed.
Lifestyles created wholesome people and nowadays if we look at the resources for
this many are trying to negate these building blocks only to find out their experimentation years were almost a process that brought them shakily back to the strength inherent in faith based traditions.
No surprise that arrested
development (immaturity) was a psychosocial phrase that
nowadays carries mental health stigmatization.They steadily destroy family traditions in their school systems and support the experimentation.
Not much is recognizable any more and those people still lament over the results.
The level of public whinging is an acceptable media form, as is emasculation, which means to weaken.(the opposite of support,which is generally praise).Praise has been portioned out only to those who comply, disguised as equality, subjugates familial bonds where the legitimate basis of praise was directed towards gratitude to God.
Praise is still know to some as prayer.The praise self or influencers is still idolatry to us.
Being gracious to others is kindness in lieu of praise.
Grace is humbling one self.
Your last comment is very valuable...and thank you for sharing it.
I have heard it said where feminism was being used as a form of manipulation. It is confusing though. Because initially feminism had some legitimate merits to it. Then, it morphed into something else and more extreme that is leading to the deterioration of society. From what I am hearing online, many women are beginning to learn and understand this.
I should add, this more extreme form of feminism is leading women to hate, envy, and/or disrespect men. A healthy relationship between a man and a woman is difficult to exist when one is predisposed to hate, envy, and or disrespect the other. Hard working and loving men do not deserve this sort of relationship dynamic and that is why they are being hesitant on even pursuing relationships these days.
Is it too late to change this?
Maybe...maybe not...
However, making people (men and women) aware of these issues might be a starting point in bringing back happy and healthy relationships.
I should add...a man should not be out pursuing praise.
His main purpose in life is not to receive praise.
I think most men feel their purpose in life is to find love and reproduce. They don't go out any given day in their relationship thinking to themselves..."today, I am going to do something great to receive praise." No, it is not that. I think after a hard day of work providing and protecting their loved ones, they want to come home and know they are loved. And what I am saying is, an important way for a woman to display this love toward their man is to hand out praise once in awhile. I don't think she has to get down on her knees and cherish the ground he walks on...even though I don't think the man who loves her would mind.
But the video you shared Patti...with the wife expressing things she wished she knew when getting into a relationship...might shed some light on why that is.
That video...also points out some things that men may not realize either...men need to play a supporting role as well.
This epic blog could keep on for eternity about the sins of vanity.
Oh - oh, this blog is getting close to its 100th comment. Are you going to offer the steak knives set or a keg of beer or an artificially flavored imitation hamburger from a mini mart - gas station - liquor store or something like that to the 100th commenter?
And by the way, is that Mud Wrestling Event going to be Pay Per View or free to view with commercials?
Oh - oh, this blog is getting close to its 100th comment. Are you going to offer the steak knives set or a keg of beer or an artificially flavored imitation hamburger from a mini mart - gas station - liquor store or something like that to the 100th commenter?
And by the way, is that Mud Wrestling Event going to be Pay Per View or free to view with commercials?
OP may grant something to the men, but the women will be degraded as usual.
Here goes..
Four letters is more like it!!