What To Treat The Ladies On.

When I was young my dad told me never try to impress a woman on a first date. He said if she really liked you, she would be happy walk to with you to a take-way stand and eat whatever you gave her.

In view of the international nature of CD I thought I would compile a guide on what to treat your long distance lover when you finally get to meet her.

An English Miss
Fish and chips wrapped in newspaper.

A French Mademoiselle
Take her for a walk on a rainy day, she will get the snails, take you to her maisonette, prepare them, cook them and by the time they are ready, you will be already full up with the hors-d´oeuvres. (Minerva)

A German Fräulein
A doner kebab - whatever that is. I hope it is cheaper than sauerkraut. (KNenagh)

An Australian Sheila
A Vegemite Sandwich .

An African Maiden
Pap and Wors (thick maize porridge and sausage). Pap is optional!

An US Chick
Hotdogs from a pavement stand.

An Irish Lassie -
A small helping of Black Pudding. (Hans4711)

An Afrikaans Madam
A Boerewors (sausage) roll. The roll is optional!

An Indonesian Bird
Raw oysters. Just take her to the sea. She will take them out for you too.

A Barbadian Queen
Hot Bajan Fish Cakes.

A China Doll
A generous helping of rice served on a bed of rice.

A Japanese Lady
Sashimi - Raw fish. Just take her to the fresh fish market.

An Italian Signorina
Chinese quick noodles. She will love the superior quality.

A Portuguese Senorita
Dried fish. No need to take her anywhere, she will have a good supply.

A Canadian Miss -
Clubbed baby seals. Plenty of frozen carcasses abandoned in the ice fields.

A Spanish Señorita -
Take her to the nearest Tapa Bar and buy the cheapest drink. (Zman)

A Ugandan Beauty in Nigerian refugee camp -
An UN ration pack bought on the black market.

But now I’m stuck. Maybe with some suggestions we can complete this manual for overseas dating.dunno
cats meow cats meow
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Comments (97)

Sorry Hans I did not see this one on the next page. My mate. you want to impress these lassies. The idea is to be cheap. we want to scare her off if she does not really like you.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
A Luke
Pap and Tik is strictly reserved for the Capetonian Maraai.
laugh laugh

Yes, our Afrikaans Madams are spoiled.

From what I understand the African maiden with Pap & Wors is the best bet. She will dish all the food in one plate and then feed her man the best of it and she will eat what is left over after he had enough. Makes you think; not so?
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
Hi Zman
Here expired foods are sold as pig food. These pigs eat like kings.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
@ Cat - OK point taken, how about 'black pudding' for the Irish Lass..... dunno .... grin cheers
Z
What are they protecting. The coffee beans.laugh

Is this for true now or are you having me on?
confused dunno
Hi Hans
I just Googled it and it seems to be within the budget or repulsive enough.rolling on the floor laughing

I misunderstood the black pudding entirely.

I thought that is what you get after having Pap & Wors with the African maiden.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
@ Cat - laugh rolling on the floor laughing It sounds worse than it tastes..... grin cheers
blushing A Canadian Sauage. wink WOW! Oh Me, Oh My!
No quite true uh oh wow
Hi Angel
Canadian Sausage. Do they make sausage? I wonder what they use. Seal sausage? Must ask about it.grin
wine hug
blushing Cfoot: Canadian mens, has sausage too!.... rolling on the floor laughing jk.
Hi Hans
I ate it in Namibia. The Germans there make it. Did not particularly enjoy it.
laugh laugh
Zman,
I suppose you are to close to Cecily to escape their attention. doh cool
Agent MacPepper,
Come and see me ion my office. Now!
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
wave CATFOOT: dang! I was just saying, what i like! What did i do. Or what do you think that, i said wronge? . . dang! comfort
a romantic early evening walk,prepare a meal with her with wine and plenty of conversation,give her eye contact with warm smiles take a hold of her hand lightly take lightly embrace o the small of her back pull her close and lead with a dance.
american ladies and hotdog stands yes if shes sixteen
Hi Leah
but you don't understand. This is a test to see if she really likes you. If she really likes the guy she will be satisfied with a cheap hotdog bought at a sidewalk stand.
laugh @Leahk. Uh, Oh! You Go Girl. . .:Kick his ars girl! . . . rolling on the floor laughing hehe!
you see catfoot if i was dating you i would think of something uniquely special to show you ,you are different from every other males.
you do somewhat have to impress not by spending load of cash but by doing something that lets your date know that they are different intresting and worth trying spend your life with wether they are male or female
you see catfoot if i was dating you i would think of something uniquely special to show you ,you are different from every other males.
you do somewhat have to impress not by spending load of cash but by doing something that lets your date know that they are different intresting and worth trying spend your life with wether they are male or female
Lol you're making my day cat. Now I'm organic vegie and fish woman. Blame it on the filipino in me. But my ex of 25 years served me chili dog the firsy time we met. Lol true story cat. That's the only time I ate chili dog in my whole life. Then in Sydney last year. My first McDonald's food. My children believe when my love then told my kids.

Well it only took him thtee yearz to beg me to marry hi after that. But there you go

Lol. Phyllis
i am not attacking you CATFOOT it's a wonderful intelligent conversation and i am all for having it thankyou for feeding me what i crave, conversation
There is no problem Leah
The fact is just that it is about the only way for a man to decide the bona fides of a date very quickly and efficiently.

You meet her on foot. If she does not like it then you are rid of her but think how pleasantly surprised she will be when you park your red BMW in front of her apartment the next day to take her to the most exotic restaurant for a meal.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

And think how envious her friend, who dumped you three weeks ago for being a church mouse, will be when she learns this.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
Oh no lol cat. As a matter of fact its tge gestures that counted. I didn't even know him yet but he already told his cousin I was going to be his wife. Lol no way. Sorry for all the typos cat. No its the most popular food in the state
its about setting her apart buying her anything isnt doing so show her she is different come up with somthing orginal prepare a meal with her,maybe i am being to sensative maybe i took your blog the wrong way i certainly didnt mean to put it across that i am materialistic every date i have ever been has consisted of us preparing things together,however you are right it is the time you spend together that counts,
And then, if a next date is going to depend on how much I spend on her during the first date, she does not care about me at all. I'd rather stay home and watch a movie before I would buy a woman.
wine hug
See Leah
Now we talk the same language. Enjoying each others company regardles of the circumstances.
applause cheering
Hmm but you enjoyed his company and a hot dog more than an expensive meal with somebody you did not like.
cheering love hug

Or am I wrong now?
dunno
yes we enjoy each others company , take a long early evening walk and maybe a crisp salad, never mind my earlier comments maybe i didnt express them right my meaning of what i was saying got lost
i dont know catfoot i miss the point i don like hot dogs sausage i use to work in a plant that made them ugh! i took your blog wrong i'll shut up now nd keep my feelings to myself on this one,i dont think ill be understood on this one,it will be taken out of content
Eish,,,rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
Leah
Things are so simple and uncomplicated when love is reciprocated. There are no hidden agendas and/or ulterior motives.hole

I would rather have a plain girl who wants me for who I am than a glamorous girl who wants me for what I have. For I can at any stage lose what I have but I can never lose who I am. Does it make sense?
dancing wink
Ok let's discount the hot dogs. Replace it with a MacDonald burger. or KFC. the question is, will you rather have a cheap takeaway meal with somebody you like or an expensive meal with somebody you don't like as much?
dunno confused dunno
Hi Lukie
Such an interesting conversation we have here. Join the club.
laugh rolling on the floor laughing
i agree 100% we think alike in that way,i am so sure you didnt get my point and i'm afraid that expressing what i meant would only cause more confusion, and paint the wrong picture of me ,it is good in life to know when to sitdown and shut up and this is one of those times when i should do so.
Lol cat. I will never go out no matter how expensive the food offered is with anybody I don't like.

Now whatever food the man that ihe offers me I'll love it. I might give him the truth that I don't like it. For nxt time cheers
Yes cat the plain girl is a good choice. Question is how many are our there within your reach. Considering the magnified commercialism to promote materialism cat. Although I myself has maintained simplicity and practicality especially after what I've been through.

Nicblog cat. Wow.

Love itrolling on the floor laughing
oh boy! good day catfoot being able to see both sides of a conversation is good thing however cheerful day to you
yeah a bit of black pudding for the irish girl if only it was so simple this now must be accompyied with the sun holiday its a must
Hi SundayRose
Life is so much easier when you keep things simple. How many within my reach? I don't know. I have concluded my shopping a while ago.smitten
wine hug
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Catfoot

Catfoot

Around here, Western Cape, South Africa

I know I cannot always have what I want, but that does not make me want it less. Otherwise I’m easy to please, flexible, accommodating and forgiving. I cool down as fast what I get cross. I hate it when people lie to me. I’m hooked to my laptop, but [read more]

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