Are You Jealous?
Yes, I am jealous, though just a little and outsiders will never know it. A little jealousy is good for a relationship and it should be shown sometimes. Just to let your partner know that you still care. Methinks that the one who claims not to be jealous, is either lying or simply does not care.However, jealousy is often confused with a monster called possessiveness. This emotion drives people to violence. When you see it - unless if you like it when your life is controlled by somebody else - run for the hills! This is the guy or doll that is going to tell you who you may not be friends with, what you may not do, who you may not talk to, where you may not go to, what you may not wear, and even when you may not laugh. In fact, this person will try to take over your entire life and smother your personality.
Quite unlike a bit of healthy jealousy that is good for a relationship, possessiveness will kill it and trap you in a cocoon of fear or frustration. This person is obsessed with you, and may easily threaten murder or suicide if you should leave. And some will be capable of it. They are sick people.
There is another related emotion called ‘envy’. This is when you are ‘jealous’ of the achievements and possessions of other people and it drives people to inferiority, dishonesty and/or nastiness. I’m not going to dwell on that today. We see enough of it every day.
So when do I get jealous? I don’t mind a bit of light flirting, I‘m a shameless flirt myself but I always try to give my girlfriend or date more attention than all the others together. I expect more or less the same from her. I think that is only reasonable.
I don’t get jealous when a guy gives a lot of attention to my girlfriend or date. I rather like the idea if she is popular. It only underlines my good taste in women. However, if he is obviously irritating her, forcing him up to her, or if she ask me to, I will tell him off very politely the first time and if he does not respond accordingly, I’ll do it again but more to the point second time around.
If I feel that my girlfriend is paying too much attention to somebody, I’ll let it sleep for a few days before I tell her so. If she was just a date, I won’t tell her anything and if it continues after a second or third date, I simply won’t date her again.
So, in my opinion, it perfectly normal to be jealous and there is nothing wrong with it. It is the other two members of the family that we must guard against.
I wish you a wonderful day.
Comments (108)
Was a very frustrating one.
Nice blog Cat.
Awww! It is hard for me to get jealous. Maybe! I just doesn't know, what jealous really means.
Or it could be what you say! > I just don't care.
I am also slightly jealous. I do remember years ago when I was married and very much in love we went out one evening and hubby just could not take his eyes off an older woman. I watched him and he kept on looking in her direction constantly. I never said a word but I felt hurt. Then on another occasion he tried to make me jealous with a woman walking across the street. He commented about her nice legs and I replied "yes, she has nice legs and the body to go with it". I don't think he expected that answer. I am not sorry for being a bit jealous as I had reason to be. We are divorced now thank goodness as his now 3rd wife complains that he is seeking greener pastures yet again.
You are about the most perfect specimen (second only after me) of a flirt that I have ever seen and that is the trait about you I like most!
What's up with you, grrrl?
( That's what the young people say to each other) They have me laughing at them...
I will try it!...
i am not at all .....flirting...you are the special one in my
heart, wish i could catch the flight..to see you now
but, i know you have a girl friend....do not want spoil that
i love you my hearts dearest....
Now that is how people differ. If I see a good-looking woman across the street, I will think nothing of pointing it out to my girlfriend/wife. That is not to make her jealous and it does not mean that I like the other woman better or that I may be interested in her. I'm merely seeking her opinion in the matter.
Likewise, if she points a good-looking guy out to me, I will look and comment. I won't feel hurt or threatened by her behavior. It is an open discussion. It is when things are done on the sly that we should get worried.
After all, we are together and would not have been there if we did not want to be.
Humans are creatures of habit. I have the notion that if you never met your first husband, you would have married another man very similar to him. Eight times out of ten a woman will take another man that beats her when she remarries after leaving the previous husband for exactly that reason.
Try what, to fall in love? That happens by itself. My grandfather said love comes like a loose stomach. Before you realize, you're swimming in it.
I hear what you say and agree totally.
"mooi bly maar mooi"
However, in my ex's case, he deliberately wanted to hurt me but it backfired on him. hahah
He is now married a 3rd time and admitted to his parents that the only reason he married this woman is because she reminds him of me. I don't know whether to feel sorry for the woman or laugh at the hole thing. But ya,.... its good to be a bit jealous
Now you have my heart pumping custard. I won't eat or sleep until you arrive.
I don't know who gave jealousy the bad name that it has. He must have been badly confused with envy and possessiveness.
I wouldn't want to be with someone where I would need to wonder where he is or what he is up to. Likewise, someone who would try to make me deliberately jealous, is playing games and that's not something I do.
Someone might belong to me but I don't own him and vice versa.
Hmm, right, that's we called the tragedy of life. But I don't want to fall in this vicious cycle again.
We all have different thresholds for what causes jealousy. What you describe as no 'reason for jealousy' may well cause grievous jealousy in another. I think our self image and self confidence play a large part in it.
All the more reason to get to know your future husband well before taking the plunge.
It is not a nice feeling and I wouldn't deliberately cause it, but I wouldn't change my life to suit someone's moods or issues. About half of my friends are male (never any romantic involvement) and I was with one guy in the past who wanted me to stop having contact with one of them. I did this once but will never again. There never was any reason for jealousy.
I know of someone who was and still is jealous of me and had tried in the past to turn my late husband against me and trying to destroy our marriage.
Now that very same person today is trying to destroy the mother and son relationship my son and I have together by saying negative things about me to him.That particular person is very manipulative and a liar too in trying to get what they want.I would also say that that person is also a very miserable person too.It's as if they have an ongoing case of the greenie meanies.
Got you. I'm recording it in my data banks as the Hindi translation for amnesia and alternatively a 'stay awake'.
Mimi. Stop! Poking Me.
PS. ( I know that you going to come on this blog)..... .
I am not by nature someone who gets jealous but yes I guess if someone I was with was giving an abundance of attention to someone else I might feel a little hurt.
My ex was an Opera singer... fAB voice and women would fall in live with his voice... Though one or 2 got the emotions mixed up and thought they were in love with him. He never gave me cause to be jealous and to be fair I kind of understood where the women were coming from. I myself had crushes in singers in the past.
Good blog and good points too. I would agree with what you say.
Have a great day
I think the person that you describe here is green with envy and feel inadequate because he/she cannot have what you have. It is a common phenomena amongst the envious to destroy what they cannot have. They have a mentality of 'If I cannot have it then you won't have it either'.
I'm glad that you could resist the person.
Regarding not being jealous. My blog only reflects my opinion and is not based any scientific research. Only you would know your own feelings and as such I cannot argue your point.
Where is Mimi. Yesterday she disappeared very early (by her standards) and I have not seen her yet on the blogs today.
Would she still be upset about the cupcakes Jim and I stole from her.
Hi Angel darling
Hi every one..
Hope things are fine with all of you and beloved ones.
Mr. Catfoot, I have one question..
(seems I have nothibg but questions )
When I am in relationship, most of the time I ask my self.. AM I JEALOUS?
And most of the time, I don't know.
So what sorts of things that can make you say "yes, I am jealous" or "naaah.. I am not" ?
Thanks..
She/ Mimi. She is near by!...
If I were you! I would block by blog. So! She can't write on it!..
oops! Their playing my song.
Who Let The Dogs Out!
........
Does it hurt to see you love cozy with another? That is all that jealousy does. It hurts you inside and it may make you sad if it happens all of the time.
I will wander of for a stroll through the blogs to see what she is up to as soon as get the opportunity.
That's it?!
Well, I guess.. yes, I am jealous then.
She was NOT happy with you and Jim yesterday...
By the way she said after your comments yesterday I had to give you this look .... followed by this one . Said you would understand!
Give my regards to Mimi, please!