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I was just watching a tv show tonight.....Nancy Grace. She was talking about how a Doctor was extorted by a lady on Ashley Madison dot com. For those of you who do not know what this website is all about, it is for married men to hook up with women discretely. However, as the Grace show covered, there was a lady who worked for the sheriff's department that was also a member of that website. She had this hook-up with a doctor and wanted him to pay off her credit card bill of $7000. The doctor's information was suppose to be hidden, but since she was part of the sheriff's office, she was able to find out his personal information.

Nancy had the CEO of the website on the phone. The CEO stated, that the website was a supplement for a marriage. It could be used to help hold marriages together. I do not know how much I agree with that. For sure, it does offer discrete sex to men...whatever that may do for a marriage.

But, to the title of my blog. "Are Women Losing their Trump Card?" It is very widely known that as the length of time a marriage extends, it is very common that sex between the couple decreases. I have also heard, women would give their man sex if they did something "nice" for them. Some women in a marriage would use sex as a manipulation tool to get their man to provide some sort of service to them. In essence, a woman's availability for sex is her trump card.

Now, with this new dating site, have women lost their trump card, or are they in the process of losing it?


Anyway....hitting the hay here.

(With apologies to Ian O’Doherty, on the Independent.ie, full link to his original article will be posted in the first comment. I took liberties)

I didn't sign up for an unwanted mammy to tell me where I was going wrong and what I needed to do to buck myself up. When was the last time you allowed yourself to be lectured by someone about your moral failings? But that's the world we now live in; one which has become increasingly censorious and priggish.

We now seem to live in a climate where simply disapproving of something is enough to want to ban it. Cigarettes, alcohol, the 'wrong' food. The proposed sugar tax.

Even rugby is under the microscope of the unbearably smug who simply will not rest until they have managed to insert their grubby, interfering tentacles into every aspect of both our public and private lives.

When it comes to issues such as drinking, eating, or even watching the wrong thing, the personality types are the same. The common thread running through all of them is this astonishing arrogance which leads them to believe that they know more about your life than you do and are more qualified to make your choices than you are.

The most recent statement by freshman TD Jack Chambers, who wants to ban McDonald's from sponsoring a movie slot on RTÉ, is a perfect example.

Whether he realises it or not, what Chambers is calling for is a reduction in the right of parents to raise and feed their kids as they see fit.

We are surrounded and assailed on all sides by people who think they know more than you do. Surrounded by busybodies who used to be known as cranks, but who are now called health experts.

You could call it the salami effect, where people gradually chip away at your rights until, without you even noticing, you have no rights left at all. However somebody, somewhere probably objects to the promotion of such a fatty sausage.

The next time you comment with smug disdain about someone doing something you don’t personally approve of, think. Next time it could be someone complaining about something you DO approve of. Like, perhaps, the right to live your life your way.

I know, you never intended to be in this world.
But you’re in it all the same.

So why not get started immediately.

I mean, belonging to it.
There is so much to admire, to weep over.

And to write music or poems about.

Bless the feet that take you to and fro.
Bless the eyes and the listening ears.
Bless the tongue, the marvel of taste.
Bless touching.

You could live a hundred years, it’s happened.
Or not.
I am speaking from the fortunate platform of many years,
none of which, I think, I ever wasted.
Do you need a prod?
Do you need a little darkness to get you going?
Let me be as urgent as a knife, then,and remind you of Keats,
so single of purpose and thinking, for a while, he had a lifetime.



(John Keats, one of the English Romantic poets, was 25 when he died. Mary Oliver is 81)

I know, there is a poetry section, and this isn't even my own. I like it.


I liked a comment under the article and quote even more, even though it is practically the opposite message.

wish you'd tell me what things are important to you about the place where you stay

Do you insist everything be five star, including your own private pool / sauna / 24 hour service

or do you stay in hostels and hope the other 9 in the room won't snore too loudly, keeping your cash to spend on your activities

While I was travelling in the campervan I stayed at campsites with communal showers and loos, but private hedges around each campsite, rather liked that although it had never occurred to me to ask for my own garden in a hotel

I went to Germany last year for a few days and booked the cheapest hotel I could find, turned out not to be the best area but transport into town was frequent and reliable, the room was clean, and the shared bathrooms on each floor were spotless. I got what I paid for, basically.

Apparently most people have MUCH higher standards, Would love it you'd tell me what things are important to you when you're planning a brief getaway - lavish surroundings, or convenient location, or proximity to tourist stuff, whether you like to be out and about and just want a place to sleep, or whether you want to be cossetted and pampered ...

What do guys think ? have had this conversation with some single ladies lately

Many of you will have seen this video already - for those who don't click in, or it doesn't show in your country, it is groups of people. Businessmen and women, people on the dole, immigrants. Religious. Sporty types, bikers - one guy has the biggest and most tattooed biceps EVER. All of them are people you judge instantly on their appearance, standing together with those who look like them.

Then the Danish controller of the experiment asks who was the class clown at school? and suddenly there are people coming out of their boxes into the square.

Who is a step-parent?

Who had sex in the last week? (Lots of giggling with that one)

And the boxes are breaking up, reshaping, reforming, in one the redneck with the giant biceps is next to a tiny woman in a hijab, it is - mind-boggling. I like my mind boggled.

It is worth watching.



Next time you are truly angry and irritated by someone on CS, remember we don't only stand in our political, religious, nationality, even gender, boxes. We have being single in common (most of us. )

Hands up if you're scared of clowns?
Hands up if you like to hike?
Hands up if you prefer people to animals?
Hands up if you ever had a threatening person at the door?

This is why I like the blogs, especially the unexpected offbeat ones - you suddenly find yourself agreeing with someone you never thought you had anything in common with.

And of course this is why I don't personally like the angry point-finger blogs, because that's not where I want to find common ground

Shutting up now. But that video is worth 3 minutes of your time. If it isn't coming up for your country, check youtube for "what happens when we stop putting people in boxes"

Comment, don't comment. But a great comment would be one that opened up a new box! I'll personally be in and out as I have teaching today, but this isn't an OP-driven blog anyway. It could poke a hole in your way of looking at others.

When the feeling of loneliness becomes stronger than wanting to be alone.......what do you do then?

If you knew somebody was watching your every move. ....and really don't understand exactly why. I am not talking about God either.

Gorgeous Tuesday to you all.

What if this might be the Big One.


What would you do? For me, I really do not even want to think about it, but in reality if it is the Big One, should not there be some sort of plan in place? I just seen a show...well...the ending of the show anyway, where it interviewed two guys what they would do if a virus spread. Their solution was to move out to the woods.


The big automobile manufacturers just closed their doors. They are letting prisoners out of prison. This, just within a week of this becoming the main news of the day. I remember when they were talking about Bidon and Bernie. lol It seems as if each day a new drastic measure is being taken.

I am assuming, each day this lasts, the worse it may become.

I have heard it said that what damage the virus don't do, panic may. So, I would say being in a panic is not a solution, but planning might be....

Is it possible the police force might not exist out of either fear of illness or out of illness itself?
The same with government?
The same with fuel supplies?
The same with television?
The same with telephones?
The same with internet?
The same with electricity?

How fragile have our lives really been? A good time for some introspection I suppose.

Panic is not a smart or good thing, but planning is.

Stay safe all....enjoy what we have taken for granted most if not all of our lives...and I suppose we can hope for the best out of all this.

My Best Friend