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I just started with connectingsingles.com..I am not sure what to expect though, but I thought I gave it a try. I guess, I won't be as naive as I was before..being in a free online dating feels kindda risky? don't you think? but I am still willing to give it a shout..

I just gave up a 4 year relationship with a guy whom I thought would be the one..I crossed almost half of the world to meet him, and getting my master degree in where he lives..but he's just not buying it..we had an on and off affairs and last year, it sortta hit me, that I didn't think I could do that kind of relationship any further, so decided to leave him and now is still missing him once in a while, but I am getting better about it..I almost forget how difficult it is to move on...is it really this hard? I can't recall..

Anyway..I am dying just to talk with someone's new, a decent and honest man with an interesting characters..I have enough with liars and eventhough it's hard, i think I would be able to move on..

I found out today that my ex whom I thought I might marry someday was married the whole time he was with me. He made plans to go a family trip I had planned and get to know my family better. I stayed at his place and he visited me. The whole time he was married. He lied to me and made me out to be a fool. I was the other woman only I never knew it. I slept in thier bed. I kissed and held her husband not knowing he was married. I feel so bad for this woman who has no clue who her husband really is. He thought I would never find out and when confronted with this confessed to everything. Then thought I might want to be friends. Yes rip open old wounds and think we can be friends again. This is why I like being single less chance of heartbreak. Why do people lie like that. It kills me that I never knew I was such a fool. How could I not know. I must have been so in love with him that I just didn't want to see that signs. I am soo mad right now I cant even function. I need some time to process this. How cold hearted can one person be I mena really. ERRRR!!!!

Wellits been going pretty good till now, my ex called me and told me he wants my furniture from my apartment, and when i told him no he went nuts, it all started when he followed me one day jumped in my car and told me that he still loves me, then he proceeded to tell me that he is moving in with this girl he met well hes known all along i just didnt know it well he is moving in with her and now he wants mine and my sons furniture, well my answer was no. I know that this is not a very good way to meet new men but it helps me out i can get all this off my sholders and this way im not playing his stupid little games. I dont believe in games i dont play them i just tell him and thats it no phone games i just turn my phone off.

well you were right..
i have had two weeks to think about this.. since you broke up with me.. 3 weeks since i saw you last..

i was going to go back to my hermatiage..and my ways.. quit trying.. still think i will do that..

however you were right about depression..and exercise..i am doing more..you would be pleased..

walk on the treadmill..only 5 minutes a day so far..but went to the river yesterday..and the lake..and believe it or not..bought the first fishing lic. i have had since the 60s..and two poles.. going out in the garage today see if i can find my old gear..
down 7 pounds..so far..
the fat man cometh and goeth or so one would hope..
but these changes are for me..but credit where due..you were the catalyst..still spend all my time alone in the hills..but more active.. not sitting reading ,listening to music..watching tv.. getting out more..
i had hope to explore life ..and what it has to offer with you ..and to make whatever chanages needed to happen ...with you ... but i am never one to ignore..good advice.. just slow to act sometimes..


CHANGE..
i would have given you the earth..sun..moon and stars...
but it would not have mattered
if you did not
want them..

i would have tried to change to adjust ,metamorphosed.
but it would not have mattered
because i would still be
after all
me

Some ladies loved it when A man can sing,, So i felt like making a BLOG about the guys who can sing really good.. And I will freely sing to any lady who is up for the challenge...Just send me a message..

Acts 2:17 In the last days, God says. I will pour my Spirit out on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams.
18 Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour my Spirit out on those days and they will prophesy. 19 I will show wonders in heaven above and signs of earth below.

Well just read a forum on prayer taken away from the mouths of kids and teens even the word prayer. There is no need to panic or get nutty or even mad. This a time of joy and rejoicing satan's final desperation in hindering the Lord's salvation for mankind.

I've had oppression all my life since day one the Lord anointed me. It's a fact people are driven by a demonic force that hates you in Christ. When these hindrances come about means one thing you have struck fear in your enemies and as cowards they are go for the low blow.

They can take prayers in public away with my mouth, but never my heart or head. I can and have prayed in my head 24/7<<<Charles's secret place.lol I posted a comment on that forum and said in confidence in hindrances God gets bigger. For about 6 years now the Lord has taught me things I never thought I could understand, shows how teachable an open heart is so believer open your heart please.

If the church is shut up completely as in the days of Rome, etc., cant shut us up just the way it goes. As Americans we have rights know them and use them never cut yourself short. People that hate believers are driven by satan end of story, think about it satan is the author of hate.
God is the author of Love.

So kids and teens can't say prayer of pray in school:( its sad, what I don't get why is a prayer offensive lol I know lol but it's total non sense. It's like some brat giving you a hard time to get their way even bullying lol. 9 times out of 10 you get that from all un believers.

It's as simple as the verdict in John 3. Men hate the light ((Spirit)) fear that their deeds will be exposed, meaning when the Spirit of God touches a conscience it shows us how awful we are. And that's why people run from God, its that darn simple. I am my own god, don't you dare tell me I'm wrong lol.

In a chat last night someone said some think they are holier than thou lol. I get sooo tickled at those statements:) I said the Holy Spirit gives a believer a new conscience of right and wrong so receive the Spirit guilt filled un holy one.

Without that Spiritual recharge we can never ever reach a point of standing for God, and we not abiding in Him is the biggest hindrance of all. So to fix a problem go the the source pray for ((all)) the Christian leaders of this country to defend the voice of Christ to this hurting dying world. The world needs Jesus its that simple so abide in Him and even when shut up, they can't help but to see His glory in your life:)
God sense 101

As I try to lay sleep, I pray the lord her thoughts I'll keep
I awake to find I'm still alone trying to hold on to what is gone.
I ask myself is she as real as she seems, then to find out she's nothing more then a dream.....

(Contd. from Part 2)
Sounds of the morning radio come to me through the doorway while I am having my toast, and James Blunt comes on with a song about some guy worrying about some relationship. After the song, there’s some heated debate about how hospital patients needs aren’t being properly met.
Differing images flash through my mind, of the ‘importance’ of Flor Griffin Expert Stores sales, and dolphins throats being casually and methodically slit open while alive, because we want tuna, and world markets ‘force’ tuna fishers to treat dolphins as competition. The value of B&Q’s 20% off power tools, and Hotpoint washing machines with bigger drums at Sound Store, seem to pale away with images of young boys in Sierra Leone getting their arms cut off, and more young boys being forced to murder and torture people in the film ‘Blood Diamond’. Daft Dave (an Irish fictitious commercial character) is on now, people have to have their marble and porcelain tiles - as cheap as possible, which is vital, and my tea is going cold so I have to put it in the microwave to re-heat it. Poor me.
And then I think back to a shot of one poor horribly disfigured sow, who was just left so terribly deformed by abuse, neglect and illness lying in filth upon a concrete floor. Open lesions, scars, cuts bruised tissue showed years of abuse all over her poor old body, left to die in that spot of some ordinary disease. Typically, a pig in her condition is just left to die, without food or water. Shur why bother. Her ribs bones and joints were showing through her cruelly marked skin. Nobody on the radio thought of this poor sow. Like me, they were all too worried about their relationships, and the health service. The only thing of beauty left about her were her lovely eyes, gently blinking, not being able to understand the cruelty vented on her since she came into this world. She was a long time there dying.

In the shower this morning, I thought about what a horribly greedy & cruel race we can be at times, and the damage we are doing all around us to just about everything. We seem to be totally concerned with our own little greedy selfish concerns, and use apathy and ignorance and ‘progress’ as an excuse.
I realised that my head just hung down, and my shoulders were slumped forward, and I was ashamed to be a human.


Please just try to be a kinder & nicer person to everyone & everything.

Hugh.

(Contd. from Part 1)

Daily beatings with iron bars are, well, JUST commonplace…Mutilation, torture, sadistic torture for the satisfaction of bored and insane workers, UNBELIEVABLE neglect and conditions are all part of the horrific life for these lovely gentle animals. 40% of deaths occur from respiratory diseases. This is hardly surprising when you see the filth that they’re kept in all the time. Most places seem to be 80% concrete and 20% steel, and that’s it, no straw or bedding. The stench of excrement and decay is supposed to be unbearable for most workers. Added to this the fact that many bodies are just left to bloat and rot among living animals for days and weeks. The pig’s sense of smell is even more developed than a bloodhounds, by how much I can’t remember, but we all have heard stories of how they’re able to ‘root’ and dig up truffles 3 or 4 feet below the earth. NOW, consider having this extremely keen sense of smell and having a corpse lying next to you for a fortnight. AND, the fact that there’s excrement ALL OVER YOU, UNDER YOU AND ABOVE YOU. ALL THE TIME.
Those pigs that aren’t growing ‘quick enough’ are picked up by the rear legs by a big strong man - alive and lucid, and belted off the ground repeatedly ‘til their skulls eventually just crack. This is in an effort to save the pellets used in the bolt guns which are supposed to be used. The poor pig is alive and screaming with terror and agony the whole time until he’s dead, with blood and his brains seeping out of the many cracks to his head.
You can see for yourself, young little piglets being castrated by just crudely cutting and ripping and tearing until the testicles rip off. The worker looks like he’s just methodically trying to open a can. The poor little thing is wriggling & SCREAMING in agony the whole time, TOTALLY aware of what’s being done to him. I know pigs seem to ‘scream’ a lot, but this little thing was just SCREAMING WITH PAIN.
More images follow of some pigs which had been incorrectly ‘stunned’, and are thrown alive and terrified into the bath of scalding hot water which is used to remove the hair. It’s just heart rippingly cruel watching. You can’t hold back the tears that come to your eyes seeing them writhing in agony, just so I could have a jumbo breakfast roll instead of a plain old bowl of cereal. Awww poor me if I didn’t have it though.

(contd. in Part 3of3)

Hi everyone,

This is Hugh.
For those of you who don’t know me long, “Hello, and apologies for this. Please bear with me”.
For those of you who I really need to get back to, “Sorry for not keeping in touch more. I can be a bit of a disaster. Please write if you would like.”
And for those of you who know me best, the relationship I have with you is still right where it’s always been - good, bad or so-so. Hopefully though, it’s good and intact.
I’m just sending this out now, because it’s far better than keeping a private rebellion.

I’m actually sending this here email to all my friends and family. I, for one, have been opting out of moral responsibilities long enough, and I think it‘s high time to make some stand. I may fall out with one or more, or all of you over what I’m writing here. If I do, then so be it. I do not intend to cause offense, or seem expectant or judgemental to anybody in any way, so if I do insult or offend you, it’s TOTALLY UNINTENDED.

For everyone, hope you’re all well.


I met a good friend of mine called Shirley in a restaurant in Dublin a month ago. She was ordering vegetarian, I was my usual carnivorous, blood-lusting self. I still possibly had an all too jaundiced view of vegetarians, ironically, seeing them as lacking in real ‘strength’ and being silly. I asked her why she was vegetarian. The one line which stuck with me was when, referring to the incredibly cruel treatment of animals raised for food, “….even in Ireland…”, she said she “…won’t be a part of any of it…”
Her selfless stance just really amazed me, something I wasn’t prepared to do, and I respected her greatly for it. I couldn’t just drift off into apathy this time, the way most human beings do, and it really left a mark on me.
Since that day I actually stopped eating any pig derived products, going on her solitary stance against it, and my own innate feeling that they are such intelligent, social & gentle animals. Something inside was telling me that they were meant for anything other than food.
I had come across pig-loving websites in the last year, before this conversation with Shirley, and pigs struck me as really intelligent, inquisitive, clean & caring souls. One site told the story of ‘Banjo’, a huge boar, who was both gentle as he was defensive of his owners. He was just some ‘ordinary’ breed of pig, big whitish / pink fellow, who could pick any lock supposedly (!), and was a tremendous source of comedy and affection and love to his owners.
Another one of hundreds of stories, shows the pig’s surprising intelligence. A young boy who lived in the country happened to make a pet out of a pig. In the summer when the weather was warm enough, he was able to swim in a local pond. But the family dog used to get very hyper with excitement, and jump on the boy in the water, clawing his back, making it impossible for him to enjoy or even continue swimming. Then one day seeing another repeat of the same dumb situation, his pet sow plopped into the water, and started swimming around between him and the fool of a dog, preventing him from happily jumping all over the boy. She kept a steady vigil of this, until she passed on. She became his life-guard, or life-pig!
And then last night, something again, made me google “Stop eating pigs”, and what I found was absolutely so stunningly horrific & heart-wrenching, that it’s just left me in tears again half the morning.
Due to the nobility of undercover animal rights activists, who no doubt endanger their own personal and social safety, there is a plethora of unbelievably shocking video evidence, of cruelty in factory farms and slaughter houses. They are, in the year 2007, modern day Auschwitz’s. The words ‘cruel‘, ‘sadistic’ and abominable just have no meaning until you actually see , with your own two peepers, the horror for yourself on video footage.

(contd. in Part 2)