Blogs (62,471)

Greetings to all you wonderful women around the world!

its almost been a month since i posted my first blog iv always been a reader i was suprised how much i enjoyed writing 2 it started with that hey u blog and it seems everything gone down hill since i wrote a girl i saw had veiwed me a nice letter what i got back i didnt expect i dont want 2 get into details but lets say it was down rite mean she mentioned my blogs and that the reason she veiwed me was she was curious and she thought i was a physco im not i cant even spell it iv had my ups and downs in life like everybody else it wouldn't even bother me but it makes me wonder if evryone who's veiwed my profile thinks that about me know wonder we have serial killers in the world 2 many judgmental ignorant people still breathing i really want 2 put her name out but i already learned my lesson from that this isn't the first time i got negativity from bloging i guess it won't be the last time either cuz im still writing my blogs

Oswald Chambers: Never worry about whether what you say sounds humble before others or not. But always be humble before God, allow Him to be your all in all.

Oswald Chambers: The consequences resulting from our surrender will never even enter our mind, because our life will be totally consumed with Him.

You know I believe in respecting people and I believe in humility the Lord has taught me that.
I may be wrong or right I'll let you decide, but when there are a bunch of evil chumps using good for evil or just being evil for fun. I can't find humility I searched lol it's not there lol.

I find it so easy to go in the presence of my Lord and be totally humble to His Spirit and voice in.
Reason?? I know that He loves me and I know His intentions are right. I know Jesus taught love your enemy's. Love and bowing to them are two totally different things.

I only bow to the Lord I only submit to the Lord. And you women out there, do the same respect and love your Husbands you are not called to submit. That's really old teaching seek the Lord for that today.

I mean people today are using people's faith to use abuse and humiliate. So here's a reality check nutty chumps that enjoy attacking just good ol people. We have free will yes we do, and I've learned a important truth my whole extra mile thing is for love and respect for you not me the Lord or anyone but for you nut. I get the fullness of Christ extra mile or none.

So please stop using good people and treating them like crap. Good people deserve respect just like the evil nuts with no conscience. Simple as this treat others like you want to be treated. I've had someone humiliate me mock me withheld their hand from helping me in hate. But when they had an impossible need for help.

I done the right thing and helped. Charles treats others how he wants to be treated, even when it hurts. That's the Character of the Lord of all, not an fake Mr. Roger man with peace in his words war in his heart. So hate Charles, Love Charles, reject or accept Charles, either way I have been accepted by a forever acceptance in Jesus Christ. That's something no one can take away from me, and that's something you can have if you open your heart to Him. It's that simple.
God Sense 101

If you see me walking with someone else,
It's not because i want to,
It's because you weren't there to walk beside me.

If you see me smile,
It's not because i forgot you,
It's because i got tired of constantly crying over you.

If you see me living again,
It's not because I've moved on,
It's because I'm tired of only thinking of you.

If i fall in love with someone else,
It's not because i wanted to,
It's because you weren't
There to catch me

iv been asked by the person iv written some of my blogs about 2 remove them theirs only about 4 of them she asked me what i was up 2 on the computer and i showed her she started 2 cry and said i have no rite 2 talk about her on the computer she was especially pissed about the 1 can u still be freinds with ur ex girlfriend and the other 1 wheir i put her whole name last name 2 she hurt me bad maybe i was using these blogs 2 get back at her a little know that i think about it i wasn't even aware u could delete them i would appreciate anyones opinion on this should i leave them up or remove them what would u do?

Get up, work, finish work, eat, check my emails, log onto here, more scammers, women who find my sense of humour unwitty, who say I'm too nice, too old, too young, intelectual, thick, say i shouldn't mention football more than once in a conversation, should grow my hair longer, eat healthier, paint thier houses for free, send them money for their flight over here,listen to "a lunar sonata" by Beethoven because it will help me sleep, never eat anything yellow, don't give my mum gift vouchers for her birthday cos she will hate me for it, hoover my bed mattress daily because dead skin attracts mites, say my name is a cats name(jason), tell me that carrots make you hear better(shame on you and you know who you are), stir my tea to the right, turn all my plug sockets off at bedtime, watch A City of Angels(I fell asleep halfway through), say that i write like an American?, tell me that Elvis was gay and last but not least and wins the gold medal is- where do clouds go to when the sky is clear....?
Women-each and every one of you unique and a fascinating species, I will never tire from your words of wisdom.
Jay xxx

when i was 19 i was "seeing" two different guys. neither was a serious relationship, just hanging out, having fun. when things with jason started to be serious, i broke it off with josh. jason and i started dating, moved in together, started planning our lives together. when i found out i was pregnant, i was scared. excited, but scared. i was 19, i wasn't sure i was quite ready for the responsibilities of being a mother. we went to the doctor and they did my first ultra sound. needless to say, i fell in love with the child growing inside of me. i also found that the due date put conception right at that time that it could have been either josh or jason. i struggled with this for several weeks. i was unsure of whether to tell them, or just keep it to myself. jason and i were in a fairly happy stable relationship, why ruin that?
in the end, my conscience got the better of me. i thought, if it were me, i would want to know. so i told them both, in all honesty, that i didn't know. it broke my heart to look in the eyes of the man i loved as i broke his heart. i tried to explain to him that it was before we were dating, that he knew about josh then and that i had never cheated on him.
he didn't believe me. he turned extremely hateful and then took himself out of my life.
josh stayed by my side. helped me through it all. loved the little girl growing inside of me.
through the pregnancy i attempted to stay in touch with jason. i tried to talk to him. i wanted him to know that if the baby was his, i would not stand in the way of his parental rights. that we would work things out for ourselves. he refused to see me, or speak to me.
after she was born josh took a paternity test. not his. i continued to attempt to contact jason to no avail. i gave him an additional nine months to man up. he never did. so i filed for child support.
he drug out the child support procedings for almost a full year. he has been given visitation rights, he doesn't use them. i have tried to talk to him about this and he tells me that it's my fault. that i'm a b*tch. that i hurt him.
i understand that i hurt him. i never intended to. i was young and convinced of my own immortality. but i never lied to him. i never cheated on him. i never did anything he himself wasn't doing. i told him the truth out of respect and love.
now he tells people that i'm holding her from him. that i refuse to let him see her. so once again, i'm the b*tch.
i try to live my life. to ignore the bull shit. i moved out of the small town we lived in. i'm raising my daughter on my own. and i truly believe he's the one missing out.
i'm just not sure, after all these years, how it can still be my fault. . .
shouldn't he be to blame for his own decisions now? shouldn't he be at fault for his own reactions?