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Imagining you here, makes things seem clear
And it kills and fades away all fears.
Tears, tears, tears, oh, why did I have tears?
The sharpness of melancholy hits like spears.

Something is inside me and only God knows
That I'm going through something that blows.
The wind carries my soul to who knows where
All I can see there is your fluttering hair.

And I'll be alright, babe, I'm only feeling
All the things I held inside for so long.
I'm doing it to myself so that I'll be healing
And be myself for us as I sing you this song.

I'm feeling, healing, twisting, turning
Holding, crying, kissing, yearning.
My soul is in the Everest and you appear
To imagine you there makes things so clear.

I'm in love, like you don't know
I'll write you forever so I can show.
But, no, I don't have to write it, no
You already know it shows
And if it didnt i'd feel so low
And I wouldn't deserve to feel this glow.

You left, but here you're fresh,
Deep down, buried in my flesh.
Our blood is all the same
Your soul within me is inflamed.

I feel you completely like rain
Falling all around me, its all the same.
Your eyes engulf my soul to proclaim
That I am you and you are me,
And all shame turns real lame.

I'm missing you so much baby,
So much its got me hazy.
I'm thinking and finding ways
To show myself It'll be okay.

And my arm hurts where I got scraped,
And your kisses could make it fade.
And your eyes could make it all okay
And since you're gone my mind's delayed.

Oh, baby, I miss you so much
Oh, God, I'm out of touch.
I'm going to sit and I wont rush
Until I'm calm again to touch.

Mind decay must cease
Brain matter will be at ease.
Sitting down, legs crossed
So I don't feel like Jack Frost.

I feel more like Robert Lee Frost
Writing from a soul that's not lost
But only feels that way sometimes
When a special lady can't read his rhymes.

And I'm good and I feel fine!
I just had to tell you how I feel.
To let it out in a short time
Makes me feel so real!

And I'm really healed, baby
So don't look at me with eyes of fear.
In my mind I hold you like my lady,
And Imagining you here makes things so clear.

And people send me messages, but they don't come from you
So I feel disappointed and start to feel the blues.
I begin to see Picasso crying by the picture of a muse
He's praying to it, crying, "where are my good news?"

And Dali comes to hold him, and dance for him nude,
But Picasso isn't cheered by this, he still feels crude.
Van Gogh will later come with a few points of view,
And Picasso will be healed, crying that he was ever confused.

And I'm not confused or feel abused,
And to use excuses I refuse.
Down the wall drips a red ooze
To try to make my mind short fuse.

There's no water to conduct a charge
And electrocution will not barge
To tell me what I have to do at large
And make the world realize what it thinks is small
is actually large.

The teardrops on a face,
the gloss on satin lips,
the feeling of a broken heart,
the sweet and tender kiss.

A diamond ring on a hand,
a ghostly imprint gone,
a true love now newly found,
a loving judgment wrong.

Too many petals wilting,
with each little broken heart,
but each new bud is blooming,
as each new romance starts.

A rose is filled with beauty,
with thorns that cause such pain.
Is love worth all those mishaps?
Think how much we have to gain.

I had a vivid dream. I don't get them often, but they are very real like, when I do.

I was leaving a party and talking with a couple of male friends on the way back to our cars. My two male friends were disappointed that "Hot Lips" didn't make it there. lol I had no idea who they were talking about, but I truly chuckled, while memories of the TV show M*A*S*H raced through my mind on the way back to my car. I got in my car and started driving away, when I noticed that someone from the party was having trouble with their car. The police were there and they pushed the car off to the side of the road and were leaving.

I drove up to find a dark haired lovely young lady in perhaps her early thirties. I did not recognize her, but perhaps she had some Italian ancestry. She was wearing a silk blue top and blue jeans and sitting in the driver's seat of what appeared to be a late 80's Camaro. She looked flustered that her car would not start.

I opened her door and asked her what happened, when she turned the key. She mullled over how she was going to answer that question and then decided just to turn the key to show me. She stepped on the gas to the floor and the engine turned slowly and stopped. Then, it turned again slowly, but the car started, much to both of our surprise. I peeked at her gas guage and saw it had about 1/8 tank. So, I asked her "how far away" she lived. Her answer was "six". I thought to myself, "Six what ? Six minutes ? Six miles ? Six hours ?" I was about to ask her what she meant, when I woke up.

That was it. That was really my dream. OK dream analysts. Lets hear your interpretation of this one. Serious or funny analyses appreciated. lol

Hmm.....it's Sunday. another fun day. so too, shall be Monday, and Tuesday. Today's bill of fare is: Spitzad (which today will consist of chicken, beef, pork, and italian sausage, sweet peppers and onions, stewed in crushed tomatoes with a splash of merlot and spiced with herbs de provence, salt and pepper. roast potatoes. brocolli rabe. hearts of romaine tossed salad. beer and wine. (but I, of course will have milk) of course! It's a warm, beautiful day here in Shennandoah Valley. The children are laughing and playing outdoors. Me too. The dogs are running wild with wide glee etched in their faces. I'm not sure just what the cats are doing. Probably drooling. Our most lovely chef is only most lovely. But why would today be any different? Our hosts are toasted and impatiently awaiting lyn and my entering their realm of inebriation. They shan't have long to tarry. Lyn is calling for me to come inside and play. I suppose that I should go now. It is never wise to keep her waiting. Bye......

MORNING ALL...
its another day in paradise..
the peaks are snow covered from the last two days..but its crystal clear and sunny today..was going to drive over to the flats in new mexico..if it was windy..but now i think i will go to the lake..cannot decide if i want to take the bike or the truck..will have to see..

sometimes i look at all i have ..and wonder how i got here..its not what i thought would happen..or where i would be.. course i dont look like me either..

i wonder if any of you old farts out there feel like i do..

i look in the mirror and i have no idea of who that is looking back...big old nasty fat man???

were did that husky good looking young guy go to????...it was only yesterday ..it was 1968 and life was just really getting going.. free and young and full of piss and vinegar..
i quit going out on new years...a long time ago..they always review the different folks that had died..and i found all my heros..were drifiting away..there are none left now.. i dont think there are many to look up to now.. at least i dont see them..

i still think i am 35..still do most of the things i enjoyed then..well not the night clubbing and drinking and fighting..and chasing gals every night..city lights.. they can set you adrift in the wrong seas...


i look in the mirror
and what do i see.
its not me???
but someone else...
looking back.
a stranger .
a face i thought i would never
see....


have a great day... i know i will....

im either a genius of manipulation or a total train wreck waiting 2 happen or im digging my own grave here can u say dating suicide whats my deal rite am i a good person or not maybe i have a split personality a gemini would never have that or could it be i didn't get enough attention as a child i started digging i might as well finish elsewhere has left the building or has he u think im weird i haven't even drank this weekend or im a master of self promotion and every thing i say is a lie cuz everybody is so smart here and so enlightened that's why were on a free dating site writing and commenting on blogs u say is this guy for real or what im real or u wouldn't be reading this cuz im a writer of words and words can hurt or make u feel better its up 2 the individual 2 figure that out dont get caught in the web of words people cuz that's all they are words and word is bond should somebody be judged for that ill let u decide

Sunday 8 March:

Hey. It's Sunday. Gimme a break. I can't think of something controversial and witty every day.

I got a flower from a lovely lass in sunny Scotland this morning. Very nice she is too but I have my reservations since she has "Intimate encounter" ticked as her primary motivation and I live not a million miles away. Unless she's experimenting with teledildonics or has her own private jet, I'm not sure how this one is going to work. But it's all a big adventure.

I managed to sneak out of the house early this afternoon before MOTHRA had a change to become ravenous and bite my head off. The mission was to do a recon on the Mercury Cinema. I wanted to check out where I could leave my bicycle chained up if I were to go see a movie. The whole round trip only took an hour and 16 minutes. Including heading over to John Wayne's place at Brompton. AKA Dukastein. AKA Crazy Jay's discount philosophy emporium. But I was feeling really quite weak. I had to stop 3 times before I got up the other side of the underpass on Henley beach road. Admittedly I have a problem with long inclines and it was a head wind but my muscles were burning more than usual for some reason. Gotta figure out what to do about that.

Really cool place to leave the bike while I take in the film night. But JW wasn't home. So I will have to deliver the thumb drive with the incriminating evidence of Doktor Badger's land lord tomorrow. Long story.

When I got home I started writing this blog entry. Then I realized why I was weak today pulling up that climb. Well, that is, I realized after I woke up with a stiff neck from sleeping in this here chair. I didn't get enough sleep last night. None of which stopped me from jumping on the bike and doing it all again later so I might roll up to the cinema and catch another of Jamie Leonarder's cinematic presentations.

This one about conspiracy theories. From who really shot JFK to how aliens have a taste for cow lips. Actually, that was an additional feature that he showed after the main event. Talk about value for money. I loved the competing moon-landing conspiracies. One says they didn't go to the moon as evidenced by a coke bottle. The other said they did go to the moon but landed right smack bang in the middle of an alien civilization of some kind. Neither of them had their known historical facts right. And I should know. I was there. If you look at any of the actual landing sequences you can just see this waving shadow thing in the corner. That's me with a pair of table tennis bats waving them in. I mean come on! You don't think they could have managed a touch down that smooth with 1969 technology do you?

Oh. And sorry about the coke bottle. I got thirsty waiting. What can I say?

The whole program didn't finish till getting on toward 1AM. My bike had remained safely locked up right outside the cinema with 2 other bikes. I gave Jamie Leonarder a copy of our "Persecutor 3000" video for his archives and hit the road. At first I thought it was going to be a terrible ride home but once I got going in the cool night air, it was wicked. Blasted out of town till I hit the other side of the underpass. Even then I never got below 20Ks. Being cooled by the night air like that certainly helped. I guess I'll just have to do it all again on Tuesday. I just wish I had more power.

So here I am. Eating a few grapes and finishing this entry. Another blast of a day against all the odds.

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heartand can sing it back to you ,when you forgot the words.

i say this for it is true,four months ago i lost my job.well thanks to god my father,i got it all back.they called yesterday and now i,m full-time again.so don't let these tought times get to you,for what don't kill you will only make you stronger and a far better person.god don't promise you or i a smooth curise,just a safe landing.and feel that's good enough for me,how about you? god bless us all,dondon.