Most Commented Holidays Poems (355)

Hey Firesnoze!
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Stop calling me names!
Doner, you should be ashamed of yourself!
Letting that freak go out in public!
Remember guys we're not gonna let some freak reindeer
play any reindeer games, right?
So Rudolph was shunned by everyone
Except Hermee who wanted to be a dentist
Clarice the hot doe and Yukon Cornelius
Rudolph never got to guide Santa's sleigh
And he never got the respect of his parents or anyone else
Rudolph grew to hate the reindeer
But especially Santa who could have made everything alright
So Rudolph went to a gun shop downtown
And got a lot of ammo killing everyone
But Clarice, Hermee and Yukon who found silver and gold
And helped Rudolph and Clarice have new reindeer
To guide Yukon's sleigh
Hermee fixed all their teeth
And everyone lived happily ever after
The end

What a day of practice we had
Turns out my buddy Rudolph is a freak!
He has this huge glowing red nose
It's a real shame too
Cause that reindeer could really fly!
But Santa doesn't want him around any more that the rest of us
I really liked it when Santa scolded his father
Telling him he should be ashamed of himself
He should be ashamed!
Probably ate too much of that illegal lichen
Everybody knows if you eat too much of that crap your kids will come out goofy
My dad never ate that crap!
And look at how awesome I look!
Except for the red hair I'm pretty handsome
Well, I'm looking forward to tomarrow
Practicing running and jumping into the wind and shaming Rudolph!

Santa Claus
Give me a porche with automatic transmission
Give me a house out in the country
So I can sing as loud as I want and not disturb my neighbors
Neighbors who live only feet away from me in my shabby apartment
Give me a perfect swing
So I can make nine million dollars playing against Tiger Woods
Santa
Give me a lifetime supply of preshucked Alaskan King Crab
With real melted butter from Wisconsin
Santa
If it's not too much trouble
Give me the ability to eat and drink anything I want and not gain weight
Also I would like to have the ability to fly like Superman and have his powers
I would also like to have a gorgeous woman like Wonder Woman
Gwen Stefani or Lady Gaga or Lorde would be fine too
Santa
Last but certainly not least I would like everyone to be happy
Have good free health care
Have loving relationships with their friends and family
And be paid a good wage and work only 40 hours a week
Thankyou Santa
Love,

Mike

I remember my sister having to move out
Of that farm house, it filled her with doubt
Seems an old man had died there after living there most of his life
He wanted the house to himself, he didn't even have a wife
What a lonely ghost he must be
But some prefer solitude to fill them with glee
So he would watch her when she would dream
He scared her away wanting to make her scream
Then there's the ghosts at the manufacturing place where my friend works
The building dates back the late 1800's
Seems they died at work making bowling alley parts
When that press came down on him it sure did smart!
So now and then they'll turn off a light or turn on a radio
Even make my friend wonder where did my bicycle go?
These ghost like to play pranks,but it's solitude they seek
They're tired of all the workers and my friend the geek
But soon next year the building will be torn down
Where will they haunt then, what aisles will they go down?
When it come to witches, warlocks, and ghosts
It's ghost I love the most!

I wish that on just one day of the year the dead could speak
What would they say?
What would my relatives say to me?
What would my grandparents, my uncles, former classmates say?
There are over 100 billion people who have lived and died
The stories they could tell about the time frames they lived in
My cemetery in my home town has birth dates from the 1880's
The newer ones are put where I used to practice golfing
Would they warn us of what their bad decisions led them to
Would they be speaking from heaven or somewhere else?
Did they all make it to heaven?
I know I won't know that till I die
I imagine you get to meet people from the past
Especially the famous ones like Michael Jackson

Bats love the nighttime
And witches love to brew...
Ghosts like to haunt things
And holler out BOO!!!

But me?
I just love thinking about Y-O-U!

The devil sets the table every day
A huge feast of the best foods you can imagine
Steak and lobster
Chicken breasts and French fries covered in cheese and bacon
Pizza with sausage, pepperoni, green olives and mushrooms
Cheese burgers and tacos
Chinese food and barbeque ribs
All of this and more
More than anyone could eat
Only
You have to use a four foot long fork
Only this utensil can be used to eat
The devil laughs at the people
He laughs at them starving in front of all the food they could ever want
In heaven the same feast is prepared every day
The same rule applies
You have to use a four foot long fork
Everyone gets plenty to eat
Because they have learned to feed each other
Just like they did when they were alive
The people in hell only helped themselves when they were alive
It would never dawn on them to feed each other
That is their curse
And that is why they are in hell

Finally that Summer sun beaming its bright light,
Music blaring in my living room am rocking,
Good job have high fences to see me dancing is a sight,
If I shout loud enough Free Booze the neighbours would come a flocking,

To feel that warmth and pleasant breeze,
Spirits high with a good feeling emotion,
No hay fever for me I do not sneeze,
When one feels this way then living life is devotion,

Songs playing enliven my rythm,
Play that Sax man rock these bones,
If a partner was here they would be dancing thats a given,
Guitar solos screeching out those dancing tones,

I have a smile across my face,
And my heart is full of joy and I am free,
I wish I could pass this on to all the human race,
So I send this message to all be happy come and join me

what then been painted behind child's eye
as streams burn bright through colored sky
lighting heavens high
to commemorate are common tie
as people born from liberty's thigh
raised on milk of freedoms cry

Moon peeking through the clouds
To see what's happening below
Ghouls and goblins roam around
And rotting mummies move so slow

Witches with their brooms zoom around
While ghostly specters haunt
The living dead along streets shuffle
Their ghastliness to flaunt

Oh what a frightful night this is
When monsters rule the streets
Come tomorrow when sun is up
These monsters will count their treats

So another Halloween's come and gone
And costumes are put away
The monsters sleep for another year
Until the next time they come to play