uhhh sorry but the name NUMBNUTS comes to mind ... are you trying to tell someone that is IRISH what it is like to be Irish? Story is funny ... Irish have always poked fun at themselves. Great authors, actors, intelligence, music, dance and builders of foundations for the new worlds. Póg mo thóin!
Yeah, it's might stuff that Potcheen (Irish Moonshine) ..... brewed in the mountains. 1 sip and you will feel it travel through your blood stream. If you mess with this stuff, death is a possiblility. ... stuff sold legally isn't the real deal. With the real stuff, If you are hung over drink water the next morning and you won't be hungover any more ... you are drunk again ... Now you know why so many are happy all the time
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.'
'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?'
'When it was over,' Mike replied, 'She came to me on her hands and knees.'
'Really,' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! What did she say?'
She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.' Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed..
In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.
She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'
Patton said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'
'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ....... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!'
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'
The man said, 'I do, Father.'
The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'
Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'
'Certainly, Father,' the man replied.
'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'
O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.'
The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?'
O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die , yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.' Paddy was in New York .
He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.' Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.
He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.
After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?' Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!!'
'Yes, I saw it!' replied Finney. 'Where are ye callin' from?' An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'
'Just water,' says the priest.
The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'
The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'
No worries, was teasing. My mom passed away Jan 17th, and I have not been going out much or doing much. Just trying to get back energy from helping Her and Dad for last 2 yrs.
Women communicate better, talk less than men: study
Women communicate better than men and actually talk less, researchers said on Friday.
Men speak more words than women in a day, but have a weaker command of language in social situations, use the same words repeatedly and pay unconvincing compliments, British researchers said after studying how men and women communicate.
Manchester University researchers found that when conversation centered on serious issues such as current affairs men and women used similar language, but they differed widely when it came to chit-chat in social situations.
The women in the research commissioned by British female-friendly insurance firm Sheilas’ Wheels had superior communication skills and used a wider variety of words in social situations, while men struggled with their command of language.
“It is men who are more likely to talk for the sake of talking when engaged in social chit-chat by recycling their words with ritualistic and redundant language that doesn’t contain new information,” Manchester University researcher Geoffrey Beattie said.
The team of researchers carried recording devices over a one week period in order to transcribe 50 conversations, which were split between men and women in serious and social conversations.
Each conversation was given to five volunteers who read five different versions with every fifth word removed and were asked to guess the missing word.
Men used a few simple words in social situations and the limited variety of their vocabulary became even more marked when it came to paying compliments, researchers said.
The study showed compliments from men were 90% predictable — frequently making use of words “you,” “really“ and “nice” — while women had more detail in their compliments, making them less predictable and more genuine-sounding.
The Manchester University team helped dispel the myth of women as chatterboxes and discovered it’s men who have the tendency to blather on by analyzing supporting research into male and female communication.
Only two out of 56 separate studies analyzing the difference in communication between men and women concluded that women use more words per day than men - while 24 concluded that men use more.
Thank you Eyes, you put it better than most of us could.
Valentine's Day is the anniersary for the day my final divorce papers were delivered. My day of freedom. A day that reminded me I loved myself enough to get out of a bad situation.
I hope everyone enjoys Valentines Day. I do hope you know you are loved and it's not about receiving the commercialized items advertised every where. :-) One of my favorite thing to receive ... build me a snow man in my back yard.
I get the impression she has some attitude. Her eyes remind me of Amber.
The name Taz came to mind ... Mineau was my favorite female feline. Extremely smart and had the same expression on her face as your lady. She looks exotic, don't feel that an everyday name will suit her. :-)
Yukon has many unique things about it. Something that refers to the area she comes from....
I get the impression she has some attitude. Her eyes remind me of Amber.
The name Taz came to mind ... Mineau was my favorite female feline. Extremely smart and had the same expression on her face as your lady. She looks exotic, don't feel that an everyday name will suit her. :-)
Yukon has many unique things about it. Something that refers to the area she comes from....
We just got back from seeing the movie "King's Speech".
It was a great movie and we highly recommend you see it. Colin Firth's performance was excellent!!! I can not think of anything I did not like about the movie.
KHD100 Forum Posts (2,495)
RE: If you would want to be born as an animal or an insect, what you wanted to be? and why ?
Do like the idea of flying though :-)