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Have a bearable Monday. however you spend it.

I am starting a detective agency

I am looking for the men who whistled at me when a young girl its illegal now i want them in court.

I am looking for the young men who wanted and tried to kiss me in my teens s*xual abuse.

I am looking for the old gagies who used to have their willies out when we past them after school. Oh my they are all past away now. No court for them then.

My list goes on back 30years i think when life was so different than now Men cannot even look at me now in case i have them in court.

I will let you know when the big court case goes ahead ONLY THOSE WITH MONEY THOUGH I need my legal costs paid for plus a lump sum

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido,
has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00
His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job
in the first place.
It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would
not have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing
$10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?
Guido signals back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know
what you're talking about." The Godfather pulls out a pistol,
puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"
The lawyer signals to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signals, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown
briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house.
The Godfather asks the lawyer,
"What did he say?"
The lawyer replies,
"He says go to hell, you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."

So I am sitting online while my speaker phone plays music with static. Awhile back I was informed my wait time for an operator will be approximately 39 minutes. TG for speaker phones. I remember the old days when a recording like that meant you had to actually hold the phone that whole time. Not any more. Speaker on, do what you want.

So yes, I am noticing we now have 3, count them, THREE, CS members who suffer from a condition I call dailypostthisitis. Every calendar day they MUST post a new question blog or a photo. If they do not terrible things happen to them.

Two of these poor unfortunate souls daily post questions on serious (to them) topics such as 'do you believe in sunrise?,' 'can birds really fly?,' 'do men like women with no hair?.' 'do women like men with no hair?.' 'do men like women who own televisons?.' 'gorls, do you like men who own tellivisions?,' etc., etc. Now these two cases are female, so perhaps this is why questions are their symptom of the disease as the only male here with this condition makes pictorial statements. I have communicated with that long time sufferer many times and he is aware of and making headway in dealing with the symptoms. Not so the two females alas. The root causes of dailypostthisitis are not fully understood, but it is probably related to empty lives and loneliness coupled with a belief the Internet isn't real. We wish these women well in coping with the symptoms of this terrible malady.

I have something ridiculously important to accomplish today which is why I am (still) holding on my phone. You see this past Friday I, for the first time ever, learned my pension began over a year ago. Previously, for those in my situation the old rules were no pension until age 62. But a few years ago Congress changed that rule and for my situation my pension begins at age 60. Someone forgot to tell me that. Yeah, I am not a happy camper. To actually get the money all I have to do is complete an online form and enter certain information my former employer has provided. Yes, I remember getting that letter 20 something years ago and placing it under a desk blotter for safekeeping. If my memory is correct I believe one of the cats used it and the blotter as toilet paper 15 years ago. Alternatively one can contact their former agency and collect the needed information there. Hmmm, a problem surfaces. There were some major re-organizations after 9/11 and my old agency simply no longer exists with different functions (three of which I handled in more peaceful days) going to other agencies. So, after 2o something years, which one has my data? So with a half completed online form, I sit on telephone hold while I try to find my data, so I can complete the form and get my money. Aaargh. This is call two. The first one kept me waiting for over an hour before a human told me not his agency and provided this second phone number which is where I am sitting today. Will my pension money be supplied retroactively to the day it was supposed to start (if someone had bothered to tell me of the rule change it would have), or have I simply lost a year's worth of income? I dunno yet. That will be my next question to find out an answer to, after I locate the missing data. Since I am again (needlessly with the new pension law) battling my bank to avoid foreclosure, a big fat check about now would be really nice.

Women one liners




If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.


When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.


If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?


If I ever need a heart transplant, I'd want my ex's. It's never been used.


My ex wrote to me: Can you delete my number? I responded: Who is this?


What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? Money.

Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that... 'This conversation will be recorded for Training and Quality purpose'


Outvoted 1-1 by my wife again.


Is google a woman? Because it won't let you finish your sentence without coming up with other suggestions.

as seen by Saturday Night Live and much of America..