Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Most Viewed, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
This House Is Haunted!
Last evening I paid a courtesy visit to the elderly couple who bought my house last year. I should have done it earlier but I have been so busy lately that I forgot to get around to it.
I was received rather stiffly but they invited me into the house. It was a queer feeling to be a guest in the house that was mine for so long. We made some small talk chatting about the weather and what not while the new lady of the house made coffee but the conversation just did not flow. The atmosphere was so thick, you could cut it with a knife! I decided to leave as soon as we had coffee.
When the hostess arrived back, she served the coffee and sat down. “Why didn’t you tell us the house is haunted?” she blurted it out. I was dumbstruck. I lived in the house for more than 30 years, 25 of them alone, and there never was a problem. I got visions my late grandfather patrolling the passage with his shotgun.
She went on to explain that her crockery starts rattling in the kitchen cupboards at random times, day or night and that it is driving them crazy. And just then, as if on cue, the crockery in the kitchen started rattling. They were petrified and I started laughing.
There is a well point in the garden with a raised reservoir. I rigged the ball valve of a toilet cistern to a micro switch to turn the pump on when the reservoir is not full. The pump is in a small locked enclosure on the back verandah next to the kitchen wall. Two mounting bolts are attached to the floor and two to the kitchen wall. Somehow, the vibration of the pump is transferred, along the otherwise solid wall, to the build-in kitchen cupboards. I had it all the time but I was so used to it that it did not bother me.
I took them outside to show them the ‘ghost’. When we went back into the house, my host produced a bottle of brandy and very soon we were laughing about the whole story. They thought I came to offer them half price they paid me, to buy my haunted house back.
You have a great day out there!
I was received rather stiffly but they invited me into the house. It was a queer feeling to be a guest in the house that was mine for so long. We made some small talk chatting about the weather and what not while the new lady of the house made coffee but the conversation just did not flow. The atmosphere was so thick, you could cut it with a knife! I decided to leave as soon as we had coffee.
When the hostess arrived back, she served the coffee and sat down. “Why didn’t you tell us the house is haunted?” she blurted it out. I was dumbstruck. I lived in the house for more than 30 years, 25 of them alone, and there never was a problem. I got visions my late grandfather patrolling the passage with his shotgun.
She went on to explain that her crockery starts rattling in the kitchen cupboards at random times, day or night and that it is driving them crazy. And just then, as if on cue, the crockery in the kitchen started rattling. They were petrified and I started laughing.
There is a well point in the garden with a raised reservoir. I rigged the ball valve of a toilet cistern to a micro switch to turn the pump on when the reservoir is not full. The pump is in a small locked enclosure on the back verandah next to the kitchen wall. Two mounting bolts are attached to the floor and two to the kitchen wall. Somehow, the vibration of the pump is transferred, along the otherwise solid wall, to the build-in kitchen cupboards. I had it all the time but I was so used to it that it did not bother me.
I took them outside to show them the ‘ghost’. When we went back into the house, my host produced a bottle of brandy and very soon we were laughing about the whole story. They thought I came to offer them half price they paid me, to buy my haunted house back.
You have a great day out there!
Is there life out there?
The search for intelligent life goes on but right now any life form will do. Over here it is Friday, 10 PM and I have just returned home after visiting a friend. But where is everybody?
My sister and her husband are out out (probably at the casino), my cat is on the prowl and CS is quiet as a mouse. Not even a scammer around.
Except for this one.
Some people have all the luck. Maybe I must take lessons from him. My scams never work. Anybody who is giving lessons?
I'm a bit strapped for cash at the moment but I will pay for the lessons as soon as I have pulled off a good scam.
My sister and her husband are out out (probably at the casino), my cat is on the prowl and CS is quiet as a mouse. Not even a scammer around.
Except for this one.
Some people have all the luck. Maybe I must take lessons from him. My scams never work. Anybody who is giving lessons?
I'm a bit strapped for cash at the moment but I will pay for the lessons as soon as I have pulled off a good scam.
Who is John Galt?
In an idyllic world conformity is priceless.
But wait a minute, really?
Meaning expressing your sentiments that's rather different isn't permitted?
Behold, we're now headed to an irreversible world, says the Master.
Being human, being an individual, being different will soon a thing of the past.
I hold my breath.
"In yet another warning against artificial intelligence, Elon Musk said that AI is likely to overtake humans in the next five years. He said that artificial intelligence will be vastly smarter than humans and would overtake the human race by 2025.Jul 29, 2020"
HE'S MY NEW HERO
But wait a minute, really?
Meaning expressing your sentiments that's rather different isn't permitted?
Behold, we're now headed to an irreversible world, says the Master.
Being human, being an individual, being different will soon a thing of the past.
I hold my breath.
"In yet another warning against artificial intelligence, Elon Musk said that AI is likely to overtake humans in the next five years. He said that artificial intelligence will be vastly smarter than humans and would overtake the human race by 2025.Jul 29, 2020"
HE'S MY NEW HERO
To be or not to be
To be or not to be a complete d*ck..... I find it amusing how some men are so hung up d*ck size lol.. Like how old are you some are older than i and yet still act childish. I find humor in this so bad lol
Anxious, Worried, Feeling Guilty...
This is not a good night...
Last chatted to to him at 4AM this morning. He was happy entertaining his friends. Sent me some photos of his old and balding friends and him looking messy and sweaty in front of the bbq grill and drinking. I was glad he was having fun and happy. Didn't hear anything from him since then, didn't reply my messages and calls. It's unusual and now I start to get really worried...I hope it's just hangover...
Trying to relax here...hope your day/night is much much better there.
Last chatted to to him at 4AM this morning. He was happy entertaining his friends. Sent me some photos of his old and balding friends and him looking messy and sweaty in front of the bbq grill and drinking. I was glad he was having fun and happy. Didn't hear anything from him since then, didn't reply my messages and calls. It's unusual and now I start to get really worried...I hope it's just hangover...
Trying to relax here...hope your day/night is much much better there.
Preacher & Little Boy
A preacher was making his rounds on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. 'How much do you want for the mower?' asked the preacher.
'I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle,' said the little boy.
After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, Will you take my bike in trade for it?'
The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and, after riding the bike around a little while, said, 'Mister, you've got yourself a deal.'
The preacher took the mower and began to crank it. He pulled on the rope a few times with no response from the mower. The preacher called the little boy over and said, 'I can't get this mower to start.'
The little boy said, 'That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started.'
The preacher said, I can't cuss. It's been so long since I became a Christian that I don't even remember how to cuss.'
The little boy looked at him happily and said, 'You just keep pulling on that rope. It'll come back to ya.
'I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle,' said the little boy.
After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, Will you take my bike in trade for it?'
The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and, after riding the bike around a little while, said, 'Mister, you've got yourself a deal.'
The preacher took the mower and began to crank it. He pulled on the rope a few times with no response from the mower. The preacher called the little boy over and said, 'I can't get this mower to start.'
The little boy said, 'That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started.'
The preacher said, I can't cuss. It's been so long since I became a Christian that I don't even remember how to cuss.'
The little boy looked at him happily and said, 'You just keep pulling on that rope. It'll come back to ya.
Things Mum taught me
I taught my daughter many of the same. Mums, eh?
Anatomy - Don't come running to me when you break both legs
Religion - you'd better pray that comes out the carpet
Logic - because I said so, that's why
Irony - keep crying and I will give you something to cry about
Precision - I could beat you to within an inch of your life
Wisdom - you'll understand when you get to my age
Justice - if there is any in the world your kids will turn out just like you
Anatomy - Don't come running to me when you break both legs
Religion - you'd better pray that comes out the carpet
Logic - because I said so, that's why
Irony - keep crying and I will give you something to cry about
Precision - I could beat you to within an inch of your life
Wisdom - you'll understand when you get to my age
Justice - if there is any in the world your kids will turn out just like you
Christmas gifts for yourself...what would it be?
I know this is something that is not the typical gift. It really has not appealed to me since the first day I have heard of them. But now...especially with Covid....I am going to wish for Santa to deliver me one of Robert's silk screen pillows. Hopefully it would be new and not used.
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