Most Viewed Comedy Blogs (1,864)

I love birds and so took this seriously when I first got it in email from a friend ...but reading on,see the joke ...this one's for Nam with his Truckin Blog! '


Mysterious Crow Deaths '

A fact you won't soon forget...Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws.

By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.


He very quickly concluded the cause:'

When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.

They discovered that while all the look-out crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck."



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That Russia bears no 'Ill Will or Hostility' toward the USA. These are all 'made up' accusations to increase tension between East and West. Thus most Americans are worried about the future while the Russians are laughing their AO.

Proof of this is purely in the fact that they don't endorse and condone all Biden's and his side-kick Harris' actions.

Just think clearly for a moment here. If any country wanted the USA to carry on its suicidal path of self destruction then they would endorse and compliment each ridiculous action that is made daily by a man that is way past his prime and should've been sitting under a tree dreaming dreams of his past conquests. He deserves THAT, at least. I think Americans themselves should re-evaluate the current situation and find out who is and who isn't their enemy.



Start Here....






Please take note that this blog category iiissssss:

So no sour-pusses.

On suicide;

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home.

2. It's important to have a woman who cooks from time to time.

3. It's important to have a woman who keeps the house clean.

4. It's important to have a woman who has a job.

5. It's important to have a woman who likes you.

6. It's important to have a woman who can be your very best friend.

7. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

8. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, who doesn't lie to you.

9. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed.

10. It's very, very important that these nine women do not know each other.

Sincerely,

Tiger Woods

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.

"My what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding Hood.

The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time he is crouched behind a tree stump.

"My what big ears you have Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding Hood.

Again the foiled wolf jumps up and runs away. About 2 miles down the road, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time crouched down behind a road sign. "My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf," taunts Little Red Riding Hood.

With that the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you get lost?! I'm trying to take a shit!"

My wife is so lazy, every time I go to have a pee in the sink, it´s full of dirty dishes. What should I do with her?

A man walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side.
He puts the crocodile up on the bar.
He turns to the astonished patrons.
'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my family jewels inside.
Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute.
'Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed.
In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.'
The crowd murmured their approval.
The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers,
and placed his Credentials and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth.
The croc closed his mouth as the crowd gasped.
After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the crocodile really,really hard on the top of its head
The croc opened his mouth
and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered, and the first of his free
drinks were delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. 'I'll pay anyone
£100 who's willing to give it a try.'
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up
in the back of the bar.
A drunk Spoke up..........
'I'll try it - Just don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle!'

Im supposed to go to the airport nd pick up a guest tomorrow , well she s actually a Woman I met online and she s coming to visit me, spend some time here in my love cave ...I asked a buddy of mine to accompany me as I don`t like driving alone ...the part where your advice could come handy is ... should I buy some aphrodisiacs ,lean on my lucky star or should I write a letter of apology in advance

maybe ask my buddy to help me out

[yes you can all now start celebrating as I wont be on CS that much]

So very busy at work these days...hardly have any energy left to organize my new place

Had a little birthday-house warming party last Saturday, that was so much fun...got a new lovely set of bedroom furniture on Sunday- a very special house warming present from my Jerk...a little disappoint ( I actually had a fit) to cancel my subscription for a new phone line and internet services due to their poor "customer service" last Monday...aside from being busy at work, I can't remember what I did at home yesterday but for today, I woke up early and managed to go to Ikea and bought new bedroom textiles, duvets, bed sheets, some kitchen utensils, Christmas presents for my kids and candles ...and some not so yummy "footlong" and coke that was almost like water

Logged in on here last night, was about to post a blog then my phone started ringing...had to talk about issues at work for hours and didn't get a chance to post my blog



Well, this is just my way of saying "Hi!" and that I have really really missed you all...hope you're all having a lovely day/night there