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Most Viewed Comedy Blogs (1,864)

Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Most Viewed, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.

zmountainman

UK's X files release delayed, again!

Release of 18 files containing details of unidentified aerial phenomena, that's UFOs to you & me, have been delayed again, till at least next March uh oh included in these files is "The Redlesham Forest incident, which is alleged to have taken place near USAF Woodbridge, Suffolk, in 1980, saw US Airman First Class John Burroughs, who was stationed there, exposed to radiation after a mystery "UFO visitation", though I spent a week on the base I am unable to tell you what I discovered about this incident uh oh sigh

The new timing for the release is I think highly significant professor by March the new president for the USA will have been sworn in & the UK will have activated article 50 to leave the EU, one doesn't have to be a rocket scientist to work out there's a cover up here, there are several possibilities, could Hillary in fact be an alien robot, her health issues a dummy to cover the software flaws that give her robotic movement & make her fall over regularly dunno the same could be said of Junker at the EU, his speeches often described as rambling & indecipherable, or could we be missing the real clue that no human has hair like Donald dunno or as they never seem to talk with each other could the entire British cabinet be alien robots with a communications problem, indeed if that's the case I suspect Russian hackers to be behind that professor

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Catfoot

Yes, I Can Help!(you may be better off without it)

Being one of the senior members in our family, the younger generation often asks me for advice. Upon my return yesterday, I received this email from one of my nieces.shock

Dear Uncle Cat,
I need your advice. As you know, my husband is between jobs for the last six months and yesterday morning my car broke down while going to work. I had to walk about a mile back home to enlist my husband’s help; useless as he is. When I got home, I caught him in bed with the twenty-year old daughter of our neighbor. I confronted him and he admitted to having an affair with her for the last six months. I fear my marriage is on the rocks and I don’t know what to do.help
Your niece Annie.


Lucky for her, I have lots of experience regarding her dilemma. I’m including my reply in case any of you people should run into the same problem at some stage.grin

Dear Annie,
I noticed that your husband does not know much about the internal combustion engine. When a car stalls after being driven a short distance, the cause can be one or more of many things. Start by checking if the choke does not stick. If not, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the inlet manifold. You may also check for bare wires shorting against the engine. If that is not the problem, check for dirt in the fuel line. If none of the above solves the problem, it may be the fuel pump failing to get enough fuel to the carburetor. If you cannot solve the problem, give me a call and I’ll come over to sort it out.professor
Your uncle Cat.


She did not come back to me yet, so I can only assume the she got it sorted out. This is the problem with today’s youth. They never come back to say thank you.doh

Print this blog and keep it somewhere. You may need it in the future.laugh
cats meow cats meow

You have a great day out there.wave
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Gypsytramp

Brussel Sprouts and Eejits

Eejit: "I hate brussel sprouts"

Me: "Why do you hate brussel sprouts?"

Eejit: "I don't hate brussel sprouts. They just have to be prepared a certain way"

Me: "How do you like brussel sprouts prepared?"

Eejit: "Why are you asking me that question? It's none of your business! Don't you have anything better to do?"

Me: "Sorry, just trying to make conversation. You brought up the brussel sprouts, I was trying to show some interest is all."

Eejit: "listen, I don't want to argue with you. You go pick your fight with someone else"

Me: "What are you talking about?"

Eejit: "I am too happy and enlightened to lower myself to arguing with people!"

Me: *wanders away and mutters, "what the f*ck am I doing with my life?"
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lshtar

Emoji.. Smileys

I have been on the blogs for a few months and not sure if anyone has noticed I hardly use emojis. So many Emoji on CS, and I have no idea how to use them.
I want to learn.

Give me a sentence and use one.
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Johnny_Sparton

Should I sue?

I do not buy a whole lot of cold cereal. But, I know I remember one time or another where I bought a box and poured that healthy stuff in my bowl waiting for those little dried fruit pieces to soften. mmmmmmm

I just bought a box of cold cereal. On the cover, it showed blueberries in there....strawberries. Yeah....this is what I want. I just poured myself a bowl....the dirty rats screwed me. There is no fruit in there.

Now I know why I need a woman....preferably a woman lawyer....preferably a woman lawyer named Sue. rolling on the floor laughing

A woman would not have fallen for that fake bait...she would have known there was no fruit in that box. laugh Right?
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nonsmoker

OK People.

So I want to update my profile picture. I want it to say come get me girls I'm available. Please Help me by posting a photo of a pose you would like me to try emulate .

Here's my choice,
But please feel free to give me your own Ideas.

Embedded image from another site
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Gypsytramp

Gypsy the magnificent....

I shall now read an oracle card for Freehand...

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Crazyheart38

I Just Got Rejected...Tough!

I was chatting to this super nice guy, we exchanged messages here on CS and I seem to tick all the right boxes...all those flowery and sweet words almost turn my world up side down. After few days, we took our whirlwind romance to the next level...and by that I mean on what's app. doh laugh We were so happy to have each other's number and he said I'm going to be his GF and we will have a great relationship. I am a very nice and fair person, just like the others, I gave him a chance to change his mind but he was so set of having a relationship with me. I said OK then. devil

We started exchanging messages on what's app and as usual, I would wake up finding messages on my phone...No, not dirty messages...just nice thoughtful onesblushing The guy seems very thoughtful and persistent till we talked about kids...he knows I have but he was greatly discouraged when I told him I have 6 childrensigh the last message I received from him was "cheers"crying

Where did I go wrong?confused rolling on the floor laughing

To my lost love...hope this song will touch your heartsmitten

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Mapmakeronline today!

Ecotarians

Ecoterians
We have all heard of vegetarians and the more sinister vegans but there is a new group out there called Ecoterians.

They will only eat recyclable materials, no animals or vegetables are consumed at all.

Some examples:-
The Martin family from London only eat recycled bricks, sometimes in dust form other times in small pieces; although completely toothless they all seem to be in good health.

A sect in Cork, Ireland live purely on old kitchen furniture, they find these in skips and dumped on the roadside, the leader Paddy O’Kelly said it was great as a single old kitchen feeds his followers for weeks. The spokesman mentioned that because he had scurvy he was suffering and had to eat McDonald’s burgers.

Other less extreme Ecoterians live on cardboard and plastics and there are numerous recipe books available that will help new followers transitioning from normal foods to recyclable items.

Would you become an Ecotarian? If so what items would you eat?
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