Yesterday, I made the, according to myself, fantastic decision, to eat the remainder of my meat balls in one sitting. 15 meat balls, down the hatch, as they say. Boy did I regret that at 3 am this morning. I woke up, feeling awful. I then sat up, and that familiar feeling began to emerge. You know, that feeling that something is on the way up. So, I jumped out of bed, put on some clothes and headed downstairs. I managed to just close the door, lock it and lift up the toilet seat when it happened. I will not go into detail, but it was bad. I brushed my teeth, had a cup of water and went back to sleep.
I then woke up at 8.30, unable to sleep anymore. So I went up, and just started to relax. The plan was to get rid of some of the things that are cluttering my bedroom, but I couldn't be bothered. Maybe I will do it after I have written this blog, since I am possibly expecting company on Tuesday. I am spending some time with K then, and she might be able to go back home with me. Nothing is 100%, though. I know what you are thinking. "Here's another one that Philipsen are gonna blog religiously about.". You'd be wrong. I am not gonna put her in every single blog that I make. Unlike R, I am not completely head-over-heels in love with K. Am I ruling out the possibility of me falling in love with K? No. But for now, friendship is the only thing on my mind.
Ah, well.. Off to the container yard I go with the things I need to discard.
Later!
Happy New Year!
For the past few years, pretty much ever since I got out of the navy, I have had a relatively big fear of holding a gun in my hands. I know, this sounds silly, with me expressing a desire to join the army and everything. But one of my biggest fears, is actually guns. It's weird, because I have no issue with violent shooter video games. I think it's because I know that video games aren't real. The gun I am holding isn't a real gun, and the people that I shoot aren't real people. The same thing with movies. I know that the guns shot in movies are dummy guns, shooting blanks. Whenever someone dies, from being shot, in a movie, it's fake. The person is alright at the end of the take.
In order to combat that fear, I have begun watching YouTube channels, with guns as the main focus. Demolition Ranch is one of them. That channel practices safe gun handling, as well as educating people on the guns used. I used to watch FPS Russia as well, since that channel was meant to entertain about gun safety, as well as demonstrating just how destructive a gun really is. I found another gun channel, called Hickok45, which is being described, as a "drama-free, "family-friendly" shooting channel". I have yet to dig into the videos, but the titles and thumbnails look interesting.
Now, I want to attend a gun range at some point in my life. It would then seem fitting, that I visit one when I am in New York. I just need to figure out which one to visit, since there are a LOT of ranges to pick from. It has to be one that gives clear and good instructions, regarding safety, posture, education about the guns and generally makes me comfortable with shooting a gun.
This is where you come in: Do you know of any gun range in the Albany/Troy area, that practices any of the things I have listed? I would love to go to an outdoor range, if possible. Not a requirement, though :)
Please keep the comments to the topic. I will delete any comments that aren't relevant to the subject
This being the final day of the year - of the decade, even - it's time to recap the year!
Lots of fun things, but also some very, VERY low things. Most of you here know, what I mean by low things. Overall, I have had more positive than negative this year.
I bought some new furniture, so my place feels like a home. I have also bought some new electronic stuff, so I have some entertainment. I even bought a trip to New York.
Here's to a better 2020!
I got an email from American Airlines, with the headline "There's been a change in your trip". I immediately began to think "Crap, is it cancelled?", but no. It wasn't that serious. They have changed my departure time towards London, so I now fly at 7 am instead of 7.25 am. 25 minutes earlier to London ensures that I WILL make my connecting flight to New York.
Christmas was great. I got exactly what I wanted, which was $152. I am now closer than ever before to my $1000 goal.
I am excited, but also terrified at the same time. It's my first time ever in the USA, and I am doing everything I can to stay on the good side of ol' Uncle Sam and his Bald Eagle.
I hope you have had a wonderful Christmas!
I had a very good day yesterday. For the first time in about three months, I was happy. Smiling from ear to ear, laughing and generally feeling good about myself - and, of course, I saw the new Star Wars, with K.
She decided the time we were supposed to meet, and then we both had a fantastic time during the movie. I loved it, but some of the things in the movie, was a bit.. Rushed, I felt. K felt the same, but all in all, it was a success. There is this new character in the movie called Babu Frik, and he is possibly the cutest thing ever! During the previews, we were treated to a 6 minute sneak-peek to the new movie Tenet. It looks fantastic! K and I both agreed, that we were going to have to watch that. Of all the previews we saw, three stood out: The new Bond film, the new Top Gun and Tenet. All three in IMAX. It's gonna be expensive, but worth it.
Now, this wouldn't be a successful trip to the cinema, without me buying too much. I decided to get some pick-n-mix, because surely that would be eaten during the movie.
It didn't. Did it get eaten before the movie? No. Did I even eat most of it? No. I barely touched it. This is what happens when we go and see exciting movies! We are too busy watching the screen, to be eating popcorn, candy or other things. But - at least I have some for tomorrow or tonight.
What rating would I give Star Wars? A solid 8.
One of the team leaders asked me that today. He wanted to know, because I was tasked with applying shipping labels to boxes, and drive them out to the shipping department. I told him, that it was pretty good, since I used to live in Scotland for 2 and a half years.
"Ah, then you will not have a problem at all", was his response.
These past few days and weeks have flown by. It seems only yesterday that it was Monday, which is pretty weird. Time really does fly when you work full time. Speaking of working full time.. I had my last day at the warehouse today. The temp agency doesn't have anything for me at the moment, so it's time to search for a regular job. I don't know where to start looking yet, but I will begin the search on Monday.
Now, being that this was my last day, there are some people I will miss from the warehouse. A, is of course one of them. I have wanted to connect with her on Facebook for a while, so once I told her, that today was my last day, I acted fast and said "Can I add you on Facebook?" "Of course, look for this name here". She was off two hours before me, so when I was on my last break, she came and gave me the biggest hug ever. I am not putting anything into that. It's just a hug between friends, and that's it.
So now I am free to do some more tv work, if I so desire. I am also gonna do a TON of laundry, tidy up the place and wipe off dust from the surfaces. I'll give this place a thorough clean.
Tomorrow evening is Star Wars time, with K. We're watching it in IMAX, since a Star Wars movie HAS to be seen in IMAX! It's gonna be amazing to see a brand new Star Wars in the cinema. It's gonna be a late showing, around 9.30 pm, but it'll be worth it! I know she's looking forward to seeing the movie, so we will both have a great time, I think.
I picked her up from the station, and then we did some shopping for the most critical things. We then headed home to my place, which she found cozy.
We watched a few movies and played some Playstation. We were meant to watch Star Wars, but we decided to watch a short movie instead.
I am extremely happy that I have a friend whom I can have fun with. The next time she's coming here, I'll have an extra duvet and pillow. That way, she can spend the night, if she wants to.
The day itself was good, but I was exhausted. It'll be nice to get to sleep in. Hopefully I sleep longer than 7.30 am.
Now that I have told R what I told her, it's now time to look forward. I know this won't be easy, but I have to start somewhere.
Almost from scratch.
I am not going to lie - this has set me back a bit. It's never easy to walk away from someone you love, but it's for the best. So how am I gonna move on? A part of me wants to work every waking hour, but I know that it will drain me of the last bit of sanity I have left. Tomorrow is Friday, and I have a half-made appointment with K. She's possibly coming over to my place to visit, but I don't know for sure yet. I will know more tomorrow. We might just watch a movie, or something.
I know what some of you must be thinking.. "Wow, he's moving fast. Already thinking about bedding K right after saying he loves R". That's not true. For one, K and I are old friends, who just love to spend time together, with a movie or a concert. Second: A guy and a girl CAN just be friends, without anything happening between them. Besides, I still need to get over R, before I jump out into the whole dating thing.
Who knows, maybe K won't come by tomorrow. As I said, I will know for sure sometime early tomorrow afternoon. I am very lucky to have friends, who want to spend time with me, even when I am at my lowest. It shows that they really DO like me.
But for now, I'll take things VERY slowly. I don't want to rush anything!
I am really thinking about saying goodbye. It's been brewing for some time now, and yesterday evening was just the last drop that made it all fall apart.
As most of you know, I have been talking a lot about a person I simply called R, because I wanted to keep her somewhat anonymous. We met in person at a Shania Twain concert, after talking together online for the past 15 years. From my side, it was love at first sight. I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. At first, I was only smitten. But slowly, I fell in love with her. I wanted to be hers. The time I knew, that I was in love, was when she spent two months at my place, in my bed next to me. One morning, I told her what I felt. She was glad I told her, but she was unable to express the same feelings towards me. So I endured. I tried my very best to keep it friendly. It failed. I went to a festival in July, and at that time, she got extremely angry with me. Most of you know why, so I won't waste letters writing it. But know this - it was bad. Very bad. To the point, where I really doubted that her and I would ever see each other again. But we did. She spent a weekend here, but it wasn't the same. Something had broken between us. I knew the trust was gone, but I did my very best to not repeat the same things I did before. It worked. I was able to not do the same things. But still, it felt broken, in some way. On top of that, she told me that she was loosely dating someone, which floored me. It made me feel dizzy. The last time I felt that, was when my father was admitted to the hospital shortly before his death. Whenever I get told something, that I wasn't expecting, I get rubber-like legs, and I have to sit down. I decided to hold my head up high, and tell her that I was okay with it, when in reality, I wasn't. That was the last time I saw her in person. I told her, that I needed some time to think. To sort out some feelings, that I was struggling with. She told me, that it was fine. That I should take all the time I needed, and then write her when I felt like it.
Yesterday evening, I saw something that made me write her a message. What I saw, was that she was in relationship with someone. I was done thinking. I needed to get it out, so I wrote her a message. In that message, I told her that her and I wouldn't be able to spend any more nights together. It wouldn't be fair to her boyfriend. Her and I can still meet up, but it would have to be somewhere in Copenhagen, and not at my place.
She has read the message, but haven't replied to it. Yet.
I am still thinking. Maybe it's time to say goodbye? At least, for a while. A few months, perhaps. Enough time to make me completely get over her. I think it's the best thing to do.
What do you think, I should do? Do you agree with my message to R? Keep the comments civil, though
When I got home from work yesterday, I made some food and then watched the new Martin Scorsese film on Netflix.
It's a behemoth of a film, clocking n at 3 hours and 30 minutes to be exact. The movie doesn't feel boring at all, which is rare, when it has the run time it has.
The movie stars Robert DeNiro, as Frank Sheeran, a truck driver who gets involved with Russell Bufalino, expertly played by Joe Pesci, and his Pennsylvania crime family, and Jimmy Hoffa, played by Al Pacino.
Slowly you see Frank work his way up from small time errand guy to a powerful hitman. It is a very slow burn, but it's definitely worth it in the end!
There is not much I can tell, in fear of spoiling the story. It is on Netflix, so give it a watch! It reminds me of the classic gangster movies like Casino and Goodfellas, two excellent movies in their own right.
9/10
Last week, a few coworkers and myself were talking Christmas present shopping. Suddenly, A turns to me and asks "What are you getting me for Christmas this year?".. It caught me completely off guard, so I replied "What would you like?"
"Oh, nothing like super fancy... A pizza, some candy.. Things like that."
I have recently bought a huge bag of gingerbread cookies, that I was gonna enjoy during the weekend, so I acted fast. I told her "I'll bring you your gift on Monday- Unwrapped, though".
So today, I brought her the gingerbread cookies. I wasn't sure if she was a fan of them, but I just decided to go for it, and present them to her.
When I did, her eyes lid up and she went "Yaay! I LOVE these!", so you could say, that I scored points there! Now I am just hoping she's not gonna eat them all at once. She probably will, though.
Payday was today, so I decided to splurge on myself, and get a brand new phone, since my old one was.. Well, on its last legs. It took forever to open an app, it would freeze mid video, and the battery wasn't the best.
The phone I have bought is an update of the phone I had before, a Huawei P Smart 2019. It's my fourth Huawei, so I can say for sure that I am a fan of the brand.
This new updated version has a better battery, a better camera and loads more space! Double the space as the previous model, so I have plenty of storage space for my pictures and videos.
Apart from buying stuff for myself, I have to buy a Christmas present for A. I asked her what she wanted for Christmas, to which she replied: "Pizza, candy, pretty much anything you can eat, really". I have found the PERFECT gift for her. She'll get it on Monday, when I am working again.
But for now, I will just sit back, relax and see what the night brings. Possibly an early bedtime for me, since I am extremely tired. It's been a long day today!
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