Bodecia Forum Posts (1,476)

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Yep, the crucial phrase in your post there is "recognizing some potential "influences" and trying our best to give a relationship all we have"...

Past experiences will doubtless affect our judgement to things, but as long as we recognise what is going on and accepting that, we dont necessarily have to let them rule our present or future decisions and behaviour.

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Absolutely. Also, even if your wants and needs differ a little, if you are prepared to work with the other, compromise and accept then its still good.

I personally think we all know, deep down, when we are ready to do that, and when we are still caught up in other issues.

Nice post, felix.

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

As I have explained before A, I used to be very analytical, and I used to spin things round and round in my head very much - to the point that I usually ended up where I started in the beginning but just more confused.

These days, the difference is that I may still analyse but I know when to stop and when to just let things happen. Being more accepting of others and myself is the key to that.

There is nothing wrong with thinking about things, mulling them over and considering the options carefully. The problem comes when you dont know when to turn that switch off and just go with it. If you OVER think, it means that you are doing much more thinking/analysing than is necessary and this process will simply create confusion. Also, we can all talk ourselves out of things if we analyse them enough..there is ALWAYS a negative viewpoint and its easy to convince yourself that that is the only route left.

Switching that Thinking Switch off is critical to one's wellbeing and sanity, I believe.

RE: I found this and wondered

I know British PMs dont get this; Im sure they get some kind of Golden Handshake, and they always end up in a high-rank role, such as a UN Ambassador, but they certainly dont get homes, and suchlike.

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

You are obviously not meeting the right ones..

RE: When Muslims get sick....................

Im sorry, and I know its not PC, but Grizz and time..FUNNY STUFF..

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

We all try to be all things to all people when we are younger, I think. We feel guilty when we realise we simply cannot live up to that, and its easy to blame the other person.

Sounds like your daughter does need to take some time out, and sort out her priorities.

I hope all is well with yourself and her..

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Very good advive, blanad.. Lets face it, we all hope to live a long and happy life, preferably with someone we love, so its worth waiting awhile and making sure all involved are really ready..

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Thats a really, really good point, actually Class..

I do believe that the idea of being in love, the idea of meeting that special someone is more appealing than the reality. Reality bits; day-dreaming doesnt, and the "White Picket Fence" mentality still abounds, I think.

It is more than obvious that some, especially younger couples, love the idea of the white dress, the big wedding and the attention of a big day, but fail to ever look further than that.

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Hi BB...

I think we were probably all like that when we were younger! High, impossible to reach standards, unrealistic expectations.

As we grow older, I think we realise what is important and what isnt.

Hopefully, your daughter will take from her experiences the good points, and be able to move on more cleanly in the future. Otherwise, as you say, she may never see each man for who they are individually.

Thanks for posting, my friend.

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Im glad you are finding some closure after all this time, Ray.

I appreciate that it is hard and a difficult time for us in this period, but I hope that you will brush yourself down and find that special lady that you deserve.

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Absolutely. Clean shop and move on.

Thanks for posting, eliene..

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Thanks, G, for that.

I do certainly think that some people unconsciously choose partners that mirror their father/mother to some degree. I know people who have done this; my sister is just one.

How much of what we seek in a partner is projected from our experiences with our parents from a very young age???
Its an interesting concept..

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Yeah, he is..

But so am I..

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Very true, Monte.

Learning from experience, and looking at it objectively too. Give it a post-mortem, and then move on.

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Now, THAT would be fun..

RE: Do you prefer to shop in town or online?

RE: Do you prefer to shop in town or online?

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Very true, Bane.

The sad thing is that really the only way to find out you are not ready, is to experience pain in a new relationship, it seems.

But, thats the time to do something, and not blame it on the other person completely. If you are ready, and the other person is ready, twill work..

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Interesting, G..

So, basically you are saying that our perceptions of others in relationship issues (and others) are based on our childhood upbringing?

I can see how that would work, especially if you had strong personality parents..

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Oh, yes. Exactly. If you persist in generalising and lumping everyone together, then to me thats a sign you are simply not ready for a new start. More work needs to be done.

Acceptance and compromise: thats what its all about.

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Yes, thats really partly what I was saying initially, 2..

Its the same as using distance as being an obstacle. Yes, its difficult and sometimes impossible due to children and suchlike, but many times it can be overcome and it is simply used as an excuse, in my opinion.

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Oh, so true.

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

I think that it is what it is. I used to over-analyse what I conceived to be "hidden meanings" or "hidden agendas" in partner, when really - even if they did exist, what was the point in pursuing that train of thought? If you are constantly worrying about such things you are either with the wrong partner, or not as ready as you thought to be in a relationship.

Of course, there will always be great people, well-rounded and well-balanced people who are single. It just means that you havent met that person yet.

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

I agree, and I think it is sometimes - not always - used as an excuse to run away and avoid commitment.

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Hi Back at ya, Lucy! And thanks..

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Yep. We certainly can. Experience is usually a good thing, but if the majority of your relationship experiences have been less than perfect ones, it CAN be a bad thing because its very easy to generalise and dump the sins of others onto anyone that comes along..

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Thats true, CC. I just wonder why, sometimes...

Why? Why make something more complicated than it really is? There is enough strife and stress in the world as it is!

Its Really Not That Complicated....Is It?

Relationships...

Really are quite simple. I think it is human nature to attempt to analyse, overthink and constantly look for alternative meanings to things when, really, it is what it is.

You meet someone; you fall in love, you commit to each other. It either works, or it doesnt. If both parties are truly ready for it, and are in a place in their life where they can be open-minded, accepting of others' faults it will work.

Do we really over think other people's attitudes in love as a way of finding a reason to run away? Do we blame past experiences on all the rest of the male/female species, and use that as yet another reason to back off? I think we do..

If you are truly at the right place in life, it will happen. If you let it..