Most Viewed Self-Improvement Blogs (526)

With real joy comes real pain.

Any time we fully experience true joy or feel the
preciousness of life on an emotional level, we can
expect to feel a great amount of sadness. Many
of us shy away from the things that would make
us happiest, because they also make us feel pain.
The opposite is also true. We cannot selectively
numb ourselves to sadness without numbing
ourselves to joy. When it comes to falling in love,
we may be hesitant to go “all in,” for fear of the
sadness it would stir up in us.

Country life is cool.



She has been learning that. Her BF and I had her starting out with various types of .380s (Colts, PPKs etc), but I figured she was finally ready for the real thing today. So when she stopped by for our periodic coffee and chat I dragged her out back and after her warming up with my old Remington M51, I moved her up to a 1911 (a Colt commercial made in 1917).

Here she is getting ready to try it for the first time. 7 yard line.



Halfway through the magazine. She likes it.



Her first time with a .45. No bad habits exhibited.



She is becoming a bonafide country girl.

I handed in my notice at work today.
Soon I'll travel to parts of the world where I'm not blocked by 98% of the women on CS
Meanwhile, for your listening pleasure

And let's start the new week with love and peace in our hearts...

I shall start....

Red you are like golden sunlight on CS and your rays of warmth shine through

Lady Itchy...you are beautiful and smart..and always make me laugh.

The Elegant one..how funny and intelligent you are...inspiring

Blue...I like Blue. It's a nice colour...and you're damn smart too

Sweet Tim...you always have a kind word to say...and your thoughts are appreciated

Sir Rob..real. ..lucky is the woman who steals your

Nam the working man...may you find peace on your journey...you are amazing

Beautiful Lindsy...you are amongst the most intelligent I know..you deserve peace and love

Lady Seri...how witty you are...to match your beauty...

Free be the hand which inspires beautiful thoughts and fantasies..you write in magical ink...

Usha...you grace us with your presence

Mr. Trav...keep your heart open...she is probably looking for you too

Gentlejim...you are sweet and kind..


Lady Gypsy...a wondering angel. With a heart of gold

Angel Leony...those who have been blessed to discover who you truly are know your magnificence. ..you have touched my heart...

Robrt...what a gorgeous sense of humour. .you are a stunning individual

Dan. .you are wise beyond measure...I hope love finds you

I'm sorry to those I left out..you are all beautiful..and inspire me greatly..

Let's pay it forward and have a wonderful week ahead..

Greatest tragedies in human relationships are the inability and unwillingness to tolerate and accommodate views that are different.

We find comfort in those who agree with us, but personal growth occurs in situations where there are differences in views.

It is best to express our views regarding any matter, without the usage of harsh words written in anger to hurt other people's feelings.


Sometimes opinions others have of our views and actions may not be what we would like to hear. But if we listen to them, we often find some truth in their opinions. If we are prepared to change our ways and approaches there is always a chance for self improvement.

No one can hope to change the world by preaching a message of love while criticizing, blaming and publicly humiliating fellow humans. On the other hand if we can not deliver a Godly message in a gentle manner with respect to every living being, then we may sound like we are preaching some failed religion with a false prophet.

And it is not fair to lose temper when our faults are pointed out. Though we might think we can intimidate others by using foul language, to overlook our shortcomings, it exposes our weakness of inability to handle criticism. Foul language and anger are weak man's imitation of strength.


Having said that, we cannot remove all the stones and thorns so that the pathway be smooth. To feel comfortable, it is better to wear a pair of shoes instead. likewise, we should learn to guard our senses to have our peace of mind since we cannot succeed in removing all the disturbing objects from the world.

The mark of great people lie in how they face daily irritations with equanimity.

Wish You a Blessed Weekend!!!

If you could change things in your life what would you wish for?

Lying in my bed (with Sweetie napping by my side, as usual) I caught a memory whilst reading online, of one of my childhood dreams. This dream, in particular, was as a result of a popular show from the 70's-80's called "BJ and the bear". I remember it being fun, action-backed, and age-appropriate (of course), and my inspiration (which was probably fuelled by the 'tomboy' in me) was to drive an 18-wheeler like the one driven by the star of the movie!

During different periods in my life, and usually whenever I see these trucks, I'm awed by their presence - powerful, majestic, over-shadowing, amazing pieces of engineering. Yes, I still want to drive one!

Now that I'm retired, with the time to do something like that, I'm going to investigate how I could make this childhood dream come true.

Day one - Enquire about driver-training and testing/licensing

Stay tuned for updates...

"You logged into blogland like you were walking on to a yacht
Your words strategically placed along the lines
Your pic, it was fairly dark
You had one eye on the webcam, and watched yourself smirk
And all the men dreamed that they'd be your 'cammer,
They'd be your 'cammer, and....

You're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this blog is about you
Don't you? Don't you?"

With apologies to Carly Simon.

How many people, when they read that, thought "why is she writing about me?" Or, is that me, or is that so and so? How many people assumed that it was about them? Or someone here? Hmmm?

A major reason that we develop suits of armor, is because we assume that the other person knows what's in our heads. We assume their intentions, their motivations, and that their perceptions are the same as ours. We assume we know what's in their heads, and make up all kinds of stories in our heads to suit those assumptions. And sometimes, in a disagreement, we accuse them of those assumptions, without ever asking.

And how many of us have been dead wrong? And felt quite foolish afterwards for having assumed something that wasn't true at all? We assume that we're not only the centre of our own universe, but that we're the centre of others, as well. Ummm... no.

We all live in our own heads, with different perceptions based on our life experiences, and what we've been taught. So, when we're hurt or angry by something someone says, we assume they know what our experiences have been, and that they're attempting to upset us deliberately. But, how can a mere acquaintance know our experiences and what our buttons are?

Even in close relationships, we assume others intent and meaning. And then they assume ours. And before you know it, the fight is on, both assuming what the other one means. Neither one listening to each other. Sometimes, the intent is to hurt or retaliate for a perceived hurt on their end. And round and round it goes.

So how do we get off this carousel?

Learn to be impeccable with your word and to stop taking anything personally. Stop making assumptions. Instead of assuming other things are about us, start asking questions, in a calm and reasonable fashion. Start stating what we really want. Not words cloaked in manipulation, but clear concise statements about what we want and need.

The more we don't take anything personally, and don't make assumptions, the more we can communicate with others clearly to avoid misunderstandings.

How making assumptions works. Someone says something to us, and we start weaving a story in our heads - a negative story, about why they said what they did, and what they meant. So we write this huge mental story around them, assuming that it's true. Of course, if it is true, then we feel fairly self-righteous.

But many times, it isn't true. It's true for us, because that's our perception through our own eyes. Their perception may be entirely different, and unless we ask, we have no way of being able to clearly identify their intent or meaning.

So what if we didn't make any assumptions? What if we didn't assume we knew what was in other's heads, and stopped judging them negatively, because of what's in our own?

There'd be a lot less drama in our lives. We assume we know what others mean or think. We assume the worst, and judge others, based on the assumption that they have judged us. So if we stop assuming anything, we stop judging, we stop making up stories, and life becomes a lot less complicated. In fact, other people start to be a lot less threatening and a lot less frightening.

...cont in comments....

Do you have a cool head in a crisis or do you panic. Can you handle a crisis or do you stand around not knowing what to do? Or even worse, do you break down?

A crisis is like any other event in your life. The more you are exposed to it, the better you can cope with it. If the same crisis occurs regularly, it becomes routine. It is the same as an inexperienced soldier going to war. He will forget his training, fear for his life and panic. The duration and the degree of panic will depend on the person.

That is why new recruits are sent to war with old hands to stabilize them. After a while he gets used to the carnage and he copes better. It is then said that he has seen the elephant. He is still scared but he can handle it.

There is no disgrace in being scared. It is a primal instinct to secure self-preservation. Any fear can be overcome if you are exposed to it often enough. The secret is to control the fear so you can effectively counter the threat.

My father often exposed us to a crisis deliberately. One such an instance I will never forget. We were to go camping when my sister was still a baby. I was about ten at the time. My father, my brothers and I were to leave three days before my mother would follow with my grandfather and family. We never camped in a park; always in the wild.

When we arrived there, we discovered that our food and water supplies that I so carefully helped to pack, were no longer in the car; only empty water containers. I suggested that we go back to fetch it but my father said that there was not enough fuel in the car and he forgot his wallet at home.

After some deliberation, he suggested that fresh water was the primary need as we could feed us from the sea and we all set off on the 4 km journey along the beach to get fresh water. Funny enough. there was a water container for each to bring back some water; all according to our abilities. At the fishing village my father ‘discovered’ enough change in his pocket to buy two loaves of bread.

Arriving back, my father caught some fish and took out a few crayfish while I had to harvest some black mussels. Then I ‘discovered’ some ground coffee and sugar under the car seat when he sent me to look for his ‘mislaid’ car keys and he produced a tin can and two plastic cups from the boot of the car. We ate like kings until the rest of the family arrived. Bread without butter never tasted better.

My father had a knack to turn a dead normal situation into a crisis. Granted, he did put some stress on us but in the process, he taught us how to cope in an ‘emergency’ and that there is a solution to every problem, no matter how monstrous it appears.


And have a great day out there. Wednesday is small Saturday!

When I was sitting at the foot of a guru....who was wonderful by the way, he used to always say, "Seriousness does not equal sincerity".

I have watched and observed 'serious' people. I used to be one of them, to a degree. They have no innocence, no child-like enthusiasm (enthusiasm means 'in God'), no life. They are like frozen blocks of ice.

I watch people who are sincere. They love life. They are willing to be foolish and vulnerable and not predictable. They act as if authenticity is the highest virtue. I am aiming to be like them....but in my unique way. :)

I find that people who are themselves may have any number of 'disorders' or not, but they do not worry about how they look to others. They are happy in their own skin and they are willing to show themselves, no matter how un-perfect they may appear to be to others.

I love people who show up. I love people who lack pretense. I love people who don't give a crap what I or anyone else thinks of them. These are my hero/heroines.

The people who act as if they know everything about anything, the people who can't laugh at themselves and their idiocy, the people who constantly tell others how they ought be....those people bore the living bejeezus out of me. No thank you....move along.