Last Commented Comedy Blogs (1,864)

...and President Trump's post acquittal victory lap speech. Use of language, skills at games and business, social ease, and so on. But surely, clever humour must belong to the list. Just watch the 50 minute speech, with every member of the audience, enthralled, and in stitches. Yep, we are so blessed to have such a Dazzling, Brilliant, quick minded POTUS. Compare with stone statue Hilary, and many others, any day of the week.

A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and mine's wet."
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A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND".
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
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A blond man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"
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A blond man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blond replies.
"The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe.
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An Italian tourist asks a blond man: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blond man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
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A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
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Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
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A woman phoned her blond neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
To which the blond man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday!

~ Janice Hough

Today in The New Yorker;


Yeah, I would guess, that almost all of the guilty criminals would not want witnesses allowed during their trials. Hopefully, there won't be any like that to set a precedent.

What happens when a snowman has a temper/tantrum?

He has a meltdown!



Did you know santa claus knows karate?


He has a black belt!




Jack, the town drunkard, was at his wit’s end, he had no money to buy even the barest necessities for his family. It was right before going to sleep one night that Jack prayed the following emotional prayer: “Dear Lord, please, all I’m asking for is some food to put on the table, NOTHING else! The booze I’ll buy myself.”

A Closer Look;

With all this mud slinging and hate between left and right a public referendum could come in nicely to decide if the POTUS should or should not be impeached.
Democracy at its best?

JMO

A new supermarket opened in my area. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.

I don't buy toilet paper there any more.

“Of course, it’s a dark stain on his legacy; but on the bright side,
Trump finally managed to win a popular vote,” ~ Jimmy Fallon