Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Last Commented, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
Life
When death comes and knocks on our door, none of us have the option to say, " not today, please come back later. "
So, if you have that option , what excuse you have to tell death?
"Damn it, not now. I haven't....
So, if you have that option , what excuse you have to tell death?
"Damn it, not now. I haven't....
Caught on CAM; Fight ! Fight ! With the Easter Bunny ??
Apparently in Florida you don't mess with the Easter Bunny. 
He will not only will give you an Easter basket, but a whooping too.
Quick as a bunny, he hops into a fight.
The guy in the bunny outfit saw a dude fighting with a woman he knew and ran over to break up the fight
and instead got involved in fighting. He said he had no time to get someone to unzip the suit
to get him out of it. No serious injuries occurred and no arrests were made.
He will not only will give you an Easter basket, but a whooping too.
Quick as a bunny, he hops into a fight.
The guy in the bunny outfit saw a dude fighting with a woman he knew and ran over to break up the fight
and instead got involved in fighting. He said he had no time to get someone to unzip the suit
to get him out of it. No serious injuries occurred and no arrests were made.
Quotes of the day
In response to: “Really the best day since he got elected,” said Kellyanne Conway, the president’s counselor, about a day on which 400 pages dropped into the public’s lap describing relentless presidential misconduct and serial engagements between his campaign and a foreign actor.
and from her husband, conservative lawyer, George Conway;
In response to: “Trump is a cancer on the presidency. Congress should remove him”
Can you imagine dinner conversations at THAT household ?
I guess we know which one is blonde.
If that was his "best day since he got elected", it speaks volumes about how terrible his presidency actually has been.
Putin influences the Mueller report 'bigly'. lol
Some more satire today from Andy Borowitz;
He may not be able to directly influence the Mueller report, but he has certainly negatively influenced
Trump's behavior, which is more than horrible enough without his controls on Trump.
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Putin Almost Done Redacting Mueller Report
By Andy Borowitz
10:48 A.M.
MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)—After putting in what one associate called a “hellish all-nighter,” the Russian President, Vladimir Putin, is almost finished redacting Robert Mueller’s report in time for its release, on Thursday.
Earlier in the week, the U.S. Attorney General, William Barr, submitted the approximately four-hundred-page document to Putin for his approval, but the Russian President was reportedly “in a state of disbelief” over how much Barr had failed to redact.
Quickly assembling a crisis team at the Kremlin to implement further redactions, Putin told his associates, “Put some coffee on, boys—it’s going to be a long night.”
Although Putin is said to be satisfied that his redactions have rendered the Mueller report meaningless, he resents that the important task of obliterating damning evidence fell to him. “I have to do everything for these people,” he reportedly said.
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Putin Almost Done Redacting Mueller Report
By Andy Borowitz
10:48 A.M.
MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)—After putting in what one associate called a “hellish all-nighter,” the Russian President, Vladimir Putin, is almost finished redacting Robert Mueller’s report in time for its release, on Thursday.
Earlier in the week, the U.S. Attorney General, William Barr, submitted the approximately four-hundred-page document to Putin for his approval, but the Russian President was reportedly “in a state of disbelief” over how much Barr had failed to redact.
Quickly assembling a crisis team at the Kremlin to implement further redactions, Putin told his associates, “Put some coffee on, boys—it’s going to be a long night.”
Although Putin is said to be satisfied that his redactions have rendered the Mueller report meaningless, he resents that the important task of obliterating damning evidence fell to him. “I have to do everything for these people,” he reportedly said.
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
He may not be able to directly influence the Mueller report, but he has certainly negatively influenced
Trump's behavior, which is more than horrible enough without his controls on Trump.
Newest satire by Borowitz - funny.
Moments ago in The New Yorker;
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Americans Fear That Former Trump Staffers Will Be Released Into Their Cities
By Andy Borowitz
10:55 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Americans are in a state of abject panic amid reports that Donald J. Trump is threatening to dump thousands of fired Cabinet members and aides on cities that do not support him.
Harland Dorrinson, who lives in San Francisco, said that “every American should be alarmed” at the spectre of former Trump staffers like Kirstjen Nielsen, Scott Pruitt, and Anthony Scaramucci descending on their towns.
“A lot of these people were unsavory to begin with, and their time at the White House only hardened them,” he said.
Carol Foyler, who resides in Boston, said that, with Trump staffers being fired at a rate of four hundred a day, she lives in terror at the prospect of these castoffs melting into the general population.
“I was on line at Starbucks the other day and I thought I saw Steve Bannon,” she said.
“It turned out it was just some other creepy-looking guy, but my heart was racing.
The fear is real.”
Tracy Klugian, who lives in Minneapolis, has started a petition to create a city ordinance preventing former Trump aides from settling in his town. “This city is full,” he said.
As they brace themselves for an onslaught of fired Trump underlings, some Americans are grasping for a silver lining. “As of now, Stephen Miller and Sarah Huckabee Sanders are still employed at the White House, where their movements can be closely monitored,” Foyler said. “But, it if that changes, God help us all.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Americans Fear That Former Trump Staffers Will Be Released Into Their Cities
By Andy Borowitz
10:55 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Americans are in a state of abject panic amid reports that Donald J. Trump is threatening to dump thousands of fired Cabinet members and aides on cities that do not support him.
Harland Dorrinson, who lives in San Francisco, said that “every American should be alarmed” at the spectre of former Trump staffers like Kirstjen Nielsen, Scott Pruitt, and Anthony Scaramucci descending on their towns.
“A lot of these people were unsavory to begin with, and their time at the White House only hardened them,” he said.
Carol Foyler, who resides in Boston, said that, with Trump staffers being fired at a rate of four hundred a day, she lives in terror at the prospect of these castoffs melting into the general population.
“I was on line at Starbucks the other day and I thought I saw Steve Bannon,” she said.
“It turned out it was just some other creepy-looking guy, but my heart was racing.
The fear is real.”
Tracy Klugian, who lives in Minneapolis, has started a petition to create a city ordinance preventing former Trump aides from settling in his town. “This city is full,” he said.
As they brace themselves for an onslaught of fired Trump underlings, some Americans are grasping for a silver lining. “As of now, Stephen Miller and Sarah Huckabee Sanders are still employed at the White House, where their movements can be closely monitored,” Foyler said. “But, it if that changes, God help us all.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
online today!
I whacked it today...
I whacked it today and I'm not embarrassed to talk about it.
My plans were to drive down to Miami to do laundry and much needed yard work.
As scheduled, I was in the back yard whacking it and no one was looking.
This went on for a few hours with only a break for water and to move wet clothes to the dryer. I was nearly finished whacking it when I heard a neighbor whacking it too!
My tool is a 12" electric 'string trimmer' aka weed whacker and he had a much larger gas powered whacker. Feeling somewhat intimidated at the size of his whacker, I decided to roll up the extension cord and head back into the house to shower.
That's enough whacking for this week...!
My plans were to drive down to Miami to do laundry and much needed yard work.
As scheduled, I was in the back yard whacking it and no one was looking.
This went on for a few hours with only a break for water and to move wet clothes to the dryer. I was nearly finished whacking it when I heard a neighbor whacking it too!
My tool is a 12" electric 'string trimmer' aka weed whacker and he had a much larger gas powered whacker. Feeling somewhat intimidated at the size of his whacker, I decided to roll up the extension cord and head back into the house to shower.
That's enough whacking for this week...!
Another Trump Administration replacement ? lol
This most recent offering is a prime example of Andy Borowitz's terrific wit & satire.
It's outlandish, but given the actual behavior of the current worst US president in history, including his own collegiate journey, it's almost believable.
Indeed, the supposed outgoing secretary and actual Trump appointee is likely worse.
With no further delay, here is today's hilarious Borowitz Report from The New Yorker hot off the press;
Enjoy
It's outlandish, but given the actual behavior of the current worst US president in history, including his own collegiate journey, it's almost believable.
Indeed, the supposed outgoing secretary and actual Trump appointee is likely worse.
With no further delay, here is today's hilarious Borowitz Report from The New Yorker hot off the press;
Enjoy
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Names Lori Loughlin Education Secretary
By Andy Borowitz
11:17 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The shakeup in the Trump Administration continued on Wednesday as Donald Trump named a fellow television personality, Lori Loughlin, to be the new Secretary of Education.
In making the announcement, Trump praised Loughlin for her “disruptive approach” to college admissions and expressed hope that she could bring the same brand of innovative thinking to the Department of Education.
He brushed aside reporters’ questions about the means by which Loughlin obtained college placements for her two daughters. “No one here has a problem with that,” he said. “I know Jared doesn’t.”
The outgoing Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos, said that she was grateful to have served in the Cabinet and that she would continue to work toward eviscerating American schools as a private citizen.
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Names Lori Loughlin Education Secretary
By Andy Borowitz
11:17 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The shakeup in the Trump Administration continued on Wednesday as Donald Trump named a fellow television personality, Lori Loughlin, to be the new Secretary of Education.
In making the announcement, Trump praised Loughlin for her “disruptive approach” to college admissions and expressed hope that she could bring the same brand of innovative thinking to the Department of Education.
He brushed aside reporters’ questions about the means by which Loughlin obtained college placements for her two daughters. “No one here has a problem with that,” he said. “I know Jared doesn’t.”
The outgoing Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos, said that she was grateful to have served in the Cabinet and that she would continue to work toward eviscerating American schools as a private citizen.
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, your thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you have learned. It's your own page on Connecting Singles that you can update on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. You can write about an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with Connecting Singles members. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about members you have met here. Please be sure to read the blog rules before posting.
Would YOU like to post a blog on Connecting Singles? Have you written blogs that you'd like to share with other members? Posting your blogs shows your skill and creativity and helps members get to know you better. Your blog will appear on the Connecting Singles Blogs page and also in a link on your profile page. Click here to post a blog »