He's bald, fat, big tummy, hairy, with big ears full of shites not wax, disgustingly rotten from the inside to the outside, has 12" toadstool but unlike Shrek who is likable and likes to keep his own space, our ogre here is very intrusive, disruptive, malicious who will stalk everyone he fancies. He desperately needs a Fiona...help! .
Have some fun creating some captions for the following photo, if you like.
My first one is....."Please don't go get a dog. We really don't need one."
Pearls of Wisdom: 1. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. 2. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. 3. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
Finally, the truth is beginning to be revealed;
Special edition includes tax returns !
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Twenty Million Witnesses Come Forward Claiming They Saw Kavanaugh Lie Under Oath
By Andy Borowitz
October 1, 2018
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As the F.B.I. hurries to complete its supplemental background check of the Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, twenty million witnesses have come forward claiming that they saw Kavanaugh lie under oath.
According to the witnesses, they can remember the place where they saw Kavanaugh lie, a hearing room in the United States Senate, and the exact date and time, this past Thursday afternoon.
Despite the striking similarity of their stories, the twenty million witnesses to Kavanaugh’s mendacity said that they were having trouble getting in touch with the F.B.I., even though lying to the Senate is a federal crime and thus within the Bureau’s jurisdiction.
“I called my local F.B.I. office and was told to call the Bureau’s toll-free tip line,” Harland Dorrinson, a resident of Toledo, Ohio, said. “I did that, but the mailbox for Kavanaugh tips was full.”
Carol Foyler, a Mobile, Alabama, resident who said that she, too, witnessed Kavanaugh lie under oath, expressed frustration at the artificial deadline of the F.B.I.’s probe. “One week is not nearly enough time to interview twenty million people,” she said.
In Washington, Senator Lindsey Graham furiously rejected the witnesses’ version of events, arguing, “This is a classic case of he-said/twenty million said.”
“If lying in the United States Senate is a crime, none of us is safe,” Graham added.
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
Sometimes things do won't out according to plan.
The following picture, that I saw recorded such a discovery.
Have some fun offering some captions for the photo, if you like.
My first offering will be;
"So, what's the problem guys. Get back to work !" Here's the photo ;
online today!
I sometimes 'go off on a tangent' reading medical reports and studies on medicines. I have no desire to be a pharmacist but it intrigues me how pharmaceutical companies get many of their test results. Get this... they often use humans!
Is that funny or what?
People try these medicines and someone evaluates the results. After that, they compile all this information and submit it to the FDA (Food and Drug Administration) to get approval to release their product on the market.
Whenever a doctor prescribes a medicine for me, I try to (internet) research it first. There have been times when I refused to spend money having a prescription filled simply because I knew the side effects outweighed the benefits of the medicine. Zocor for example. I took that stuff 20 years ago and got 'sicker than sick'
Reading the Zocor side effects had me shaking my head yes to about 75% of the problems listed. I went back to my doctor telling him how sick I got and his reply was "Why did you take it?" My reply was "You said it was medically necessary as my cholesterol and triglycerides were too high" He told me never to do that again and found another medicine that had fewer side effects.
Sometimes... yes sometimes the side effects for a medicine lists totally opposite effects. For example: drowsiness; insomnia; constipation; diarrhea. Well... what's it going to be?
I'm thinking not to take medicines that cause: muscle aches; nausea; pain; stomach pain; tiredness or weakness; vomiting.
But if I really had to, I would like to combine them with medicines that cause: severe dizziness or lightheadedness; hallucinations; mood or mental changes (eg, confusion, depression, foggy thinking, short-term memory loss)
The combination would result in "Having no clue" how sick I really was.
online today!
On the subject of relationships... with the exception of a relation that goes stale, as long as things are going good and there are no conflicts, relationships can survive for years. Change an important factor (loss of a job, health issue, etc.) and the whole thing falls apart.
One such example:
A man comes home and tells his girlfriend that he just won the lottery.
She starts jumping up and down with excitement and soon the two of them are jumping up and down shouting "lottery, lottery, lottery, lottery...!"
He tells her "hurry up honey, pack your bags, you're goin' on a trip..."
Still chanting lottery, lottery, lottery, she runs into the bedroom, opens the closet door and starts throwing clothes on the bed. Suddenly she stops, runs back to the living room where her boyfriend has just opened a beer.. and she says "Do I pack for Winter or Summer?"
Without the slightest bit of hesitation he replies "What do I care? Just as long as you and your belongings are gone before nightfall"
(yes, this is a joke)