Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Last Commented, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
Timely Andy strikes again !
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Rick Scott Accuses Democrats of Trying to Thwart G.O.P.’s Successful Voter Suppression
By Andy Borowitz
11:05 A.M.
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA (The Borowitz Report)—In a hastily called press conference on Thursday evening, Florida Governor Rick Scott accused Democrats of nefariously plotting to undo the Republican Party’s highly successful voter-suppression effort.
“As Republicans, we have worked tirelessly to intimidate, discourage, and otherwise disenfranchise millions of Florida voters,” a visibly enraged Scott said. “We are not about to let Democrats swoop in at the last minute and ruin all of that fine work.”
Scott angrily singled out the Broward County and Palm Beach County supervisors for their “rampant enforcement of the right to vote.”
“They are literally finding votes by people we are a hundred per cent sure we had scared away from the voting booths,” he said. “This will not stand.”
The Florida governor said that if Democrats think that they can undermine the Republicans’ arduous and painstaking efforts to suppress votes in Florida, “they better think again.”
“I will not sit idly by while every vote is counted,” Scott said. “This is Florida, goddammit.”
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Rick Scott Accuses Democrats of Trying to Thwart G.O.P.’s Successful Voter Suppression
By Andy Borowitz
11:05 A.M.
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA (The Borowitz Report)—In a hastily called press conference on Thursday evening, Florida Governor Rick Scott accused Democrats of nefariously plotting to undo the Republican Party’s highly successful voter-suppression effort.
“As Republicans, we have worked tirelessly to intimidate, discourage, and otherwise disenfranchise millions of Florida voters,” a visibly enraged Scott said. “We are not about to let Democrats swoop in at the last minute and ruin all of that fine work.”
Scott angrily singled out the Broward County and Palm Beach County supervisors for their “rampant enforcement of the right to vote.”
“They are literally finding votes by people we are a hundred per cent sure we had scared away from the voting booths,” he said. “This will not stand.”
The Florida governor said that if Democrats think that they can undermine the Republicans’ arduous and painstaking efforts to suppress votes in Florida, “they better think again.”
“I will not sit idly by while every vote is counted,” Scott said. “This is Florida, goddammit.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
In case you don't know what this is in responce to, go to the following links;
and
Trump invaded by newest caravan
From The New Yorker;
The 2018 midterm election was not only a huge win for Democrats in the house of representatives, but for minorities too. The election resulted in the fact that 118 women will be in Congress starting in January.
Two of these are Muslims, and two are Native Americans, one of which is bisexual.
Colorado also elected the first governor, who is openly homosexual.
ch ch changes, can Republicans turn and face the strain ?
Time may change them, but they can't change time.
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Unable to Stop Caravan of Democratic Women Invading Washington
By Andy Borowitz
November 7, 2018
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump warned on Wednesday that a caravan of Democratic women was heading toward Washington, D.C., with the explicit goal of invading the nation’s capital.
Speaking at a press conference at the White House, Trump acknowledged that he had failed in his bid to stop the caravan, which is on schedule to arrive in Washington on January 3, 2019.
“The Democrats are responsible for sending this caravan, and, frankly, it’s a disgrace,” he said. “They are sending some dangerous women.”
Elaborating on the threat posed by the caravan, Trump said, “Some of these women have fought in wars. They have fired guns. One of them is a mixed-martial-arts specialist. These are women who will kick your a** without hesitating.”
Trump denied that he was irresponsibly stoking fears about the caravan of females. “Every Republican in Washington should be scared shitless of these women,” he said. “I know I am.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Unable to Stop Caravan of Democratic Women Invading Washington
By Andy Borowitz
November 7, 2018
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump warned on Wednesday that a caravan of Democratic women was heading toward Washington, D.C., with the explicit goal of invading the nation’s capital.
Speaking at a press conference at the White House, Trump acknowledged that he had failed in his bid to stop the caravan, which is on schedule to arrive in Washington on January 3, 2019.
“The Democrats are responsible for sending this caravan, and, frankly, it’s a disgrace,” he said. “They are sending some dangerous women.”
Elaborating on the threat posed by the caravan, Trump said, “Some of these women have fought in wars. They have fired guns. One of them is a mixed-martial-arts specialist. These are women who will kick your a** without hesitating.”
Trump denied that he was irresponsibly stoking fears about the caravan of females. “Every Republican in Washington should be scared shitless of these women,” he said. “I know I am.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com
The 2018 midterm election was not only a huge win for Democrats in the house of representatives, but for minorities too. The election resulted in the fact that 118 women will be in Congress starting in January.
Two of these are Muslims, and two are Native Americans, one of which is bisexual.
Colorado also elected the first governor, who is openly homosexual.
ch ch changes, can Republicans turn and face the strain ?
Time may change them, but they can't change time.
Ladies - Protecting your private digital data
A device almost guaranteed to be willingly ignored by men.
Thus, keeping your digital data, such as pictures, financials, and other images, secure.
Simple in design, yet effective.....................
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Just don't make any hasty mistakes in where you......ahem....store it.
Thus, keeping your digital data, such as pictures, financials, and other images, secure.
Simple in design, yet effective.....................
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..
Just don't make any hasty mistakes in where you......ahem....store it.
Photo Caption Contest - jogger
You know the drill by now.
Have some fun adding you own photo caption(s), if you like.
My first entry is.....Yeah, yeah, rub it in.
Here's the photo;
Have some fun adding you own photo caption(s), if you like.
My first entry is.....Yeah, yeah, rub it in.
Here's the photo;
online today!
Art collections...
I remember doing a job in the Trump tower on Miami Beach. The building was new (at the time) and filling up quickly. Only one service elevator was in constant use and it could take 20-30 minutes waiting to get to the apartment we were assigned to work on.
Security getting in was slow and they insisted on keeping your identification as guarantee you would pass by when exiting to get you ID back. Since so many trades were working in the building, it wasn't monitored, especially if a trade was working on different units on several floors. The tile guys for example. One company could have several crews going back and forth to each apartment. Often they brought up large tool boxes on wheels. The same for carpenters.
I had resistance on one visit. It was normal to receive a stick-on badge that had my name, photo and the apartment number I was permitted to visit, now a guard was assigned to stay in the elevator checking my badge matched the floor going to. Everything going down was checked. I heard from a general contractor, someone got into a finished apartment (not under construction) and stole some expensive art work. This is what they had to do for being lax in the beginning.
Fast forward. In one development, it's standard practice whenever servicemen are scheduled to be in a homeowner's house, someone (owner, housekeeper, contractor's representative) must watch over the worker at all times. I support that plan 100%.
A few years ago, one of our workers 'strayed' from the area he was assigned to service and the owner caught him 'admiring' some of their art collection. It got back through channels that 'it won't happen again' and the serviceman was expected to be fired. Since he was actually a good worker, he was reassigned to only work on tract housing for developments under construction - before homeowners move in.
It's nice to know people invest in collectables. I had one client with a 'man cave' filled with sports memorabilia that had signed photos, baseballs, footballs, jerseys, shoes of many famous players.
What artwork I have are a few things inherited from my parents. Some faux- ivory scrimshaw and carvings. Not much of a collection.
My mother bought a 'Virgin Mary' plaque from a gift shop while on vacation in Italy.
My dad got something from a restaurant that was closing.
They were both satisfied with their art collection.
Security getting in was slow and they insisted on keeping your identification as guarantee you would pass by when exiting to get you ID back. Since so many trades were working in the building, it wasn't monitored, especially if a trade was working on different units on several floors. The tile guys for example. One company could have several crews going back and forth to each apartment. Often they brought up large tool boxes on wheels. The same for carpenters.
I had resistance on one visit. It was normal to receive a stick-on badge that had my name, photo and the apartment number I was permitted to visit, now a guard was assigned to stay in the elevator checking my badge matched the floor going to. Everything going down was checked. I heard from a general contractor, someone got into a finished apartment (not under construction) and stole some expensive art work. This is what they had to do for being lax in the beginning.
Fast forward. In one development, it's standard practice whenever servicemen are scheduled to be in a homeowner's house, someone (owner, housekeeper, contractor's representative) must watch over the worker at all times. I support that plan 100%.
A few years ago, one of our workers 'strayed' from the area he was assigned to service and the owner caught him 'admiring' some of their art collection. It got back through channels that 'it won't happen again' and the serviceman was expected to be fired. Since he was actually a good worker, he was reassigned to only work on tract housing for developments under construction - before homeowners move in.
It's nice to know people invest in collectables. I had one client with a 'man cave' filled with sports memorabilia that had signed photos, baseballs, footballs, jerseys, shoes of many famous players.
What artwork I have are a few things inherited from my parents. Some faux- ivory scrimshaw and carvings. Not much of a collection.
My mother bought a 'Virgin Mary' plaque from a gift shop while on vacation in Italy.
My dad got something from a restaurant that was closing.
They were both satisfied with their art collection.
You call that an investigation ?
Brand new offering from Andy Borowitz 
Seriously, what a sham of an investigation. They didn't even interview Dr. Ford, or another accuser.
They never interviewed Kavanaugh's college roommate.
It seems 5 days was not nearly enough of an investigation, not that I guessed it would be.
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
By Andy Borowitz
10:28 A.M.
Nation’s Criminals Ask for F.B.I. Investigation Kavanaugh Just Got
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In the latest controversy to envelop the Supreme Court nominee, criminals across the United States are demanding that their cases receive the kind of F.B.I. investigation that Brett Kavanaugh just got.
From coast to coast, perpetrators of crimes ranging from arson to bank robbery are arguing that, if the F.B.I. investigates them at all, such investigations should be extremely limited in scope.
Harland Dorrinson, a criminal lawyer in Cleveland, said that his clients have followed the Kavanaugh probe “with great interest” and see it as “tailor-made” for the crimes for which they stand accused.
“My clients are asking that the F.B.I. investigate them for no more than five days and only talk to the witnesses I designate,” Dorrinson said. “We think this could be a huge time saver for everybody.”
One of his clients, Denton Faldo, currently faces twenty criminal counts of cooking and selling meth, but wants the F.B.I. to investigate only an unrelated speeding violation.
“It’s important that the F.B.I. wrap up this investigation by Friday and release me from jail in time for the weekend,” Faldo said. “A man’s life is in tatters.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
By Andy Borowitz
10:28 A.M.
Nation’s Criminals Ask for F.B.I. Investigation Kavanaugh Just Got
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In the latest controversy to envelop the Supreme Court nominee, criminals across the United States are demanding that their cases receive the kind of F.B.I. investigation that Brett Kavanaugh just got.
From coast to coast, perpetrators of crimes ranging from arson to bank robbery are arguing that, if the F.B.I. investigates them at all, such investigations should be extremely limited in scope.
Harland Dorrinson, a criminal lawyer in Cleveland, said that his clients have followed the Kavanaugh probe “with great interest” and see it as “tailor-made” for the crimes for which they stand accused.
“My clients are asking that the F.B.I. investigate them for no more than five days and only talk to the witnesses I designate,” Dorrinson said. “We think this could be a huge time saver for everybody.”
One of his clients, Denton Faldo, currently faces twenty criminal counts of cooking and selling meth, but wants the F.B.I. to investigate only an unrelated speeding violation.
“It’s important that the F.B.I. wrap up this investigation by Friday and release me from jail in time for the weekend,” Faldo said. “A man’s life is in tatters.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
Seriously, what a sham of an investigation. They didn't even interview Dr. Ford, or another accuser.
They never interviewed Kavanaugh's college roommate.
It seems 5 days was not nearly enough of an investigation, not that I guessed it would be.
A little Irish happiness .....
The Irish are such a jolly lot...... even their critters get involved .....
......
......
Trump sends someone with a LOT of experience to Saudi Arabia
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Dispatches Sarah Huckabee Sanders to Saudi Arabia to Provide Lying Advice
By Andy Borowitz
October 18, 2018
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump has dispatched the White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, to Saudi Arabia to provide what the White House on Thursday called “essential lying advice and assistance.”
According to the counsellor to the President Kellyanne Conway, “The President was not happy with the quality of lies coming out of the Saudi royal family, and who better to fix that than Sarah Sanders?”
Sources close to Sanders said that the press secretary was “horrified” during her first meeting in Riyadh to discover that the crown prince’s lying skills were “rudimentary at best.”
“The absence of a free press in Saudi Arabia means that M.B.S.”—Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman—“has had virtually zero experience lying to reporters,” Sanders reportedly told one of her aides. “The learning curve is going to be steep.”
In perhaps her most withering comment on the state of the Saudis’ lying, Sanders said, “These clowns could never have gotten Kavanaugh confirmed.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Dispatches Sarah Huckabee Sanders to Saudi Arabia to Provide Lying Advice
By Andy Borowitz
October 18, 2018
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump has dispatched the White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, to Saudi Arabia to provide what the White House on Thursday called “essential lying advice and assistance.”
According to the counsellor to the President Kellyanne Conway, “The President was not happy with the quality of lies coming out of the Saudi royal family, and who better to fix that than Sarah Sanders?”
Sources close to Sanders said that the press secretary was “horrified” during her first meeting in Riyadh to discover that the crown prince’s lying skills were “rudimentary at best.”
“The absence of a free press in Saudi Arabia means that M.B.S.”—Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman—“has had virtually zero experience lying to reporters,” Sanders reportedly told one of her aides. “The learning curve is going to be steep.”
In perhaps her most withering comment on the state of the Saudis’ lying, Sanders said, “These clowns could never have gotten Kavanaugh confirmed.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
Trump is obviously too busy (playing golf and misleading voters) to go himself.
Track might have something to do with this phenomenon....
Then again maybe we can't blame Track for all of this since it is now legalized there......
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A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, your thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you have learned. It's your own page on Connecting Singles that you can update on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. You can write about an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with Connecting Singles members. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about members you have met here. Please be sure to read the blog rules before posting.
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