Last Commented Comedy Blogs (1,864)

Colbert's monologue in 2 parts;

Hey, you know the drill by now.
Have fun adding your own photo caption(s) for the following photo, if you would like.
Or just chuckle at any that you do like posted by someone else.



My first one is;

"Excuse me neighbor. I'm here as part of a honey recycling effort."

Ole & Lena lived by a lake in Nordern Minnesota. It vas early vinter and da lake had froze over.

Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across da frozen lake to da yeneral store to get him some beer. She asked him for some money but he told her, “Nah, yust put it on our tab.”

So Lena valked across, got the beer at da yeneral store, den walked back home across the lake. Ven she got home and gave Ole his beer, she asked him, “Ole, you alvays tell me not to run up da tab at da store. Why didn’t you yust give me some money?”

Ole replied, “Vell, I didn’t vant to send you out dere vit some money ven I vasn’t sure how tick the ice vas yet.”

Today in The New Yorker



Well, it won't have to make it a full year, as Trump will likely be impeached before a year anyway.

WASHINGTON, D.C.—A turkey recently pardoned by President Trump was found dead after claiming to have dirt on the Clintons, sources at the FBI confirmed Monday.



The official cause of death was suicide, though the bullet wounds were in the back of the turkey's head and the bird lacked opposable thumbs with which to operate a firearm.

The turkey had been publicly pardoned for the crime of being delicious and set free by Trump in a popular White House Thanksgiving tradition. Shortly after being released, the turkey confirmed its possession of "credible" information that would lead to the indictment of Hillary Clinton, posting on the bird's social media account that it was a good thing Trump had pardoned the turkey, so the world could find the truth out about the Clintons.

Metro police discovered the turkey's body the next morning, shot twice in the back of the head and stabbed in the back. There was a nearby handwritten note confirming that the death was "not fowl play."

A lot of Girls think that guys have little or no idea about romance.... this short 42 second clip should prove them wrong.....







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Here's Colbert's monologue from last night in 2 parts;

Part 1;

Satire from the Borowitz Report

Pence Asks Jesus to Rapture Him Up Before Mueller Can Indict Him

By Andy Borowitz

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Vice-President Mike Pence has requested that Jesus Christ rapture him up before the special counsel Robert Mueller can indict him, a source close to Pence confirmed on Friday.

Shortly after the former national-security adviser Michael Flynn pleaded guilty to lying to the F.B.I., Pence contacted Jesus to discuss the early rapture proposal, the source said.

The source characterized Pence’s request to be raptured up as “urgent” but did not indicate whether the Vice-President asked Jesus to rapture up any other senior Administration officials.

“Some of these people will have to be left behind, for obvious reasons,” the source said. “Jared, for example.”

After the news of Pence’s conversation with Jesus leaked to the press, the Vice-President released an official statement, intended to tamp down speculation about his rapture request.

“I had a good conversation with Jesus Christ earlier in the day,” the statement read. “We touched on the timetable of my rapturing-up, along with a broad range of other issues. That is all I have to say at the present time.”


Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.





Will the rapture be an ascension, or descension ?

Last night there were two good monologues I watched on TV late at night.
I figured I would share them with you on here, as the more intelligent members
would be likely to enjoy some comedy (based on truth) after a tough day

First up was Stephen Colbert;

Part 1