Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Last Commented, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
online today!
Haircut...
I've been going to the same stylist for nearly a decade. She's great, but always busy and I have to make an appointment usually a week out. The other day, I was returning from a project and called the salon to make an appointment. She said there was a cancellation and asked if I could go there now.
Uh... I only make weekend appointments with her and this was a first. Well, yeah... but I needed to get back to the office. Okay I said, I'm on my way. I arrived with no waiting, the chair was open for me. As usual, she did a great job.
When I got back to the home office my boss was annoyed that I was away for so long.
I told him I stopped for a haircut.
He said "What... you got a haircut on company time?"
I replied "Yeah, well it grew on company time."
As expected, he said "It didn't ALL grow on company time"
I was ready for this... and said "Right... and that's why I didn't get it ALL cut off!"
I strolled over to my desk and went back to work...
Uh... I only make weekend appointments with her and this was a first. Well, yeah... but I needed to get back to the office. Okay I said, I'm on my way. I arrived with no waiting, the chair was open for me. As usual, she did a great job.
When I got back to the home office my boss was annoyed that I was away for so long.
I told him I stopped for a haircut.
He said "What... you got a haircut on company time?"
I replied "Yeah, well it grew on company time."
As expected, he said "It didn't ALL grow on company time"
I was ready for this... and said "Right... and that's why I didn't get it ALL cut off!"
I strolled over to my desk and went back to work...
Silly Ribbit! Treks Are For Kids!
Some of you may remember this from long ago, on another matchup site, but then again some of you might not. This is posted in memory of Bruce, AKA Words Of Wit, from one of those previous sites.
It's been lovely here on the lily pad the past week or so. The temperature's warming up nicely, and there's a better selection on the menu. Servings are larger, too.
The brochure said something about great opportunities for meeting women, but so far it's been rather disappointing. You'd think that living on the shoreline of a lovely river in the Midwest would be a great attraction to the opposite sex, but nothing yet. Ah, well, it's still early in the year...
I've been told more than once that I am "charming," but after a few seasons I've come to realize that it may have more to do with my wardrobe than what's inside. More than one lady has commented on what a cute "green back" I have. I never realized that so many girls had a thing for BACKS, tho...or the color green! Am I missing something? Does that Kermit guy know something that I don't?
Some of the ladies seem more than just a little bit interested in my table manners...at least that's the impression I get. Every time I reach out for a tasty morsel, one of you always comments on how far I can reach with "that thing," and there's always a look on your face of....admiration?? Shock?? Disbelief?? Not to be a spoilsport or anything, but those wouldn't be considered appropriate table manners in MY corner of the pond...
Admittedly, I'm not much into material things, but I DO have this rather cumbersome trophy. It resembles a spiky high heeled pump, and it should go with just about anything in your wardrobe, since it's clear. It's a size 13 according to the mark inside, so its owner will have no trouble identifying it. (I'll know HER, too...judging from the size of those skis!) I thought about putting it on Ebay, but it's obviously used, and let's face it--who would buy an unmatched, used, extra large slipper from a guy like me? I've thought about using it for other things, like a champagne dispenser, but the last thing I need is Athlete's Tongue, or extremely bad breath. Not that my usual cuisine hasn't done that for me already...
I'm considering moving south into warmer climates. You know, weighing anchor, floating the log downstream, and cruising the Ohio or even the Mississippi...like the kids in that Mark Twain book. They say those Cajun frogwomen are HAWTTT!!! They're said to overlook the occasional warts, too...
I'm still wondering why I bought into this scheme. The old lady who gave me the brochure seemed to be in a bit of a hurry....seems she had a shiny red apple that she had to deliver to some other poor sap. Some chick with SEVEN boyfriends. Imagine!
So anyway, that's the news from my pad. If any of you has the match to this, er, artifact, or would be interested in taking it off my hands, give me a yell! Guess I'll map out my travel plans to Nawlins....them Cajun babes really appreciate a good line!
Rrrribbbbitttt!!!!
It's been lovely here on the lily pad the past week or so. The temperature's warming up nicely, and there's a better selection on the menu. Servings are larger, too.
The brochure said something about great opportunities for meeting women, but so far it's been rather disappointing. You'd think that living on the shoreline of a lovely river in the Midwest would be a great attraction to the opposite sex, but nothing yet. Ah, well, it's still early in the year...
I've been told more than once that I am "charming," but after a few seasons I've come to realize that it may have more to do with my wardrobe than what's inside. More than one lady has commented on what a cute "green back" I have. I never realized that so many girls had a thing for BACKS, tho...or the color green! Am I missing something? Does that Kermit guy know something that I don't?
Some of the ladies seem more than just a little bit interested in my table manners...at least that's the impression I get. Every time I reach out for a tasty morsel, one of you always comments on how far I can reach with "that thing," and there's always a look on your face of....admiration?? Shock?? Disbelief?? Not to be a spoilsport or anything, but those wouldn't be considered appropriate table manners in MY corner of the pond...
Admittedly, I'm not much into material things, but I DO have this rather cumbersome trophy. It resembles a spiky high heeled pump, and it should go with just about anything in your wardrobe, since it's clear. It's a size 13 according to the mark inside, so its owner will have no trouble identifying it. (I'll know HER, too...judging from the size of those skis!) I thought about putting it on Ebay, but it's obviously used, and let's face it--who would buy an unmatched, used, extra large slipper from a guy like me? I've thought about using it for other things, like a champagne dispenser, but the last thing I need is Athlete's Tongue, or extremely bad breath. Not that my usual cuisine hasn't done that for me already...
I'm considering moving south into warmer climates. You know, weighing anchor, floating the log downstream, and cruising the Ohio or even the Mississippi...like the kids in that Mark Twain book. They say those Cajun frogwomen are HAWTTT!!! They're said to overlook the occasional warts, too...
I'm still wondering why I bought into this scheme. The old lady who gave me the brochure seemed to be in a bit of a hurry....seems she had a shiny red apple that she had to deliver to some other poor sap. Some chick with SEVEN boyfriends. Imagine!
So anyway, that's the news from my pad. If any of you has the match to this, er, artifact, or would be interested in taking it off my hands, give me a yell! Guess I'll map out my travel plans to Nawlins....them Cajun babes really appreciate a good line!
Rrrribbbbitttt!!!!
online today!
You look just like...
At the age of 17, I was often told I looked like musician/singer Arlo Guthrie. He had an album out, performed at Woodstock Festival in 1969 and his father was also a famous folk singer. The truth is, I didn't know who he was until a few years later when I saw the album cover to Alice's Restaurant. Like a zillion kids, we were both skinny, had similar long hair, slender face and (the beginning of) bedroom eyes. I often wore a hat and so did Arlo.
More than a generation later, my long curly locks looked a lot like Arlo, but that's about it. His nose hooked up at the end and his front teeth were much larger than mine.
I suppose if I grew my hair to the middle of my back again (yes again) someone somewhere would say... Wow, you look just like Arlo Guthrie. Okay... it's much better than having someone say I look like Alice Cooper!
Thanks for reading my blog...
More than a generation later, my long curly locks looked a lot like Arlo, but that's about it. His nose hooked up at the end and his front teeth were much larger than mine.
I suppose if I grew my hair to the middle of my back again (yes again) someone somewhere would say... Wow, you look just like Arlo Guthrie. Okay... it's much better than having someone say I look like Alice Cooper!
Thanks for reading my blog...
James Taylor updates his 1970 song 'Fire and Rain'.
Don't worry sensitive little peeps 
It is not political.
It is not political.
This one will tug at even the coldest of hearts …
Thinking back a few years, living in Florida, I remember Hurricane Matthew. I was ready for it but my wife was not.
When the wind reached a screaming pitch with the trees snapping and thrashing, the horizontal streaming rain, flying roofing iron and destroyed fences as well as the unnerving sound-levels, my wife was rooted to the spot. She stared and stared through the glass of the window. Immovable, with her nose pressed to the windowpane, the stark fear in her eyes will stay with me forever.
Fortunately, as the eye of the storm arrived and the winds temporarily lessened, I felt personally safe enough to open the door and let her in.
When the wind reached a screaming pitch with the trees snapping and thrashing, the horizontal streaming rain, flying roofing iron and destroyed fences as well as the unnerving sound-levels, my wife was rooted to the spot. She stared and stared through the glass of the window. Immovable, with her nose pressed to the windowpane, the stark fear in her eyes will stay with me forever.
Fortunately, as the eye of the storm arrived and the winds temporarily lessened, I felt personally safe enough to open the door and let her in.
Jeff Sessions' last day - SNL lol
It's almost amazing, that he could be replaced by someone worse.
But, Trump did it with someone who was already under FBI investigation.
I guess, I really should have more faith in the depths of Trump
A Very Trumpy Thanksgiving :)
Today in The New Yorker
Sure, it's nuts. But, is it truly more nuts than other things he has really said ?
Has Mexico paid for that wall yet ?
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Refuses to Pardon White House Turkey After Accusing It of Working for Soros
By Andy Borowitz
11:19 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a startling break with Thanksgiving tradition, Donald J. Trump refused to pardon the White House turkey after claiming that it was working as a secret operative of the billionaire George Soros.
A group of fourth graders from Bethesda, Maryland, who had gathered on the White House lawn for the annual turkey-pardoning ceremony appeared unprepared for the anti-Soros outburst that Trump unleashed on the Thanksgiving bird.
“That turkey was sent by Soros to spy on me,” Trump said, angrily turning on the fowl. “A lot of people are saying this.”
While the oblivious turkey pecked desultorily at the ground, an increasingly enraged Trump spewed a stream of conspiracy theories linking the feathered animal to global élites, election fraud in Florida, and Jim Acosta.
Trump attempted to lead the fourth-grade class in a chant of “Lock It Up,” apparently directed at the Thanksgiving delicacy, but the students slowly backed away from him in silence.
Tracy Klugian, one of the children who witnessed Trump’s meltdown, said that he found it “sad.”
“I get that he’s upset about Mueller and the midterms, but he shouldn’t take it out on a turkey,” he said.
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Refuses to Pardon White House Turkey After Accusing It of Working for Soros
By Andy Borowitz
11:19 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a startling break with Thanksgiving tradition, Donald J. Trump refused to pardon the White House turkey after claiming that it was working as a secret operative of the billionaire George Soros.
A group of fourth graders from Bethesda, Maryland, who had gathered on the White House lawn for the annual turkey-pardoning ceremony appeared unprepared for the anti-Soros outburst that Trump unleashed on the Thanksgiving bird.
“That turkey was sent by Soros to spy on me,” Trump said, angrily turning on the fowl. “A lot of people are saying this.”
While the oblivious turkey pecked desultorily at the ground, an increasingly enraged Trump spewed a stream of conspiracy theories linking the feathered animal to global élites, election fraud in Florida, and Jim Acosta.
Trump attempted to lead the fourth-grade class in a chant of “Lock It Up,” apparently directed at the Thanksgiving delicacy, but the students slowly backed away from him in silence.
Tracy Klugian, one of the children who witnessed Trump’s meltdown, said that he found it “sad.”
“I get that he’s upset about Mueller and the midterms, but he shouldn’t take it out on a turkey,” he said.
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
Sure, it's nuts. But, is it truly more nuts than other things he has really said ?
Has Mexico paid for that wall yet ?
Photo Caption Contest - If you could read minds, Thoughts as Putin Arrives
This one ought ot be good
You know the drill by now.
If you like, just add your own captions for the following photo;
My first entry is;
Melania - "Oh Geez, here's Don's real love. There goes my Paris shopping plans"
Angela Merkel; "I'd like to machine gun him down right now"
Emmanuel Macron: "Oh God No ! What a despicable creature. I would like to spit ontop of his head"
Donald Trump; "Oh goodness, I've waited so long to see you, my love, my financier" .
Here's the photo;
You know the drill by now.
If you like, just add your own captions for the following photo;
My first entry is;
Melania - "Oh Geez, here's Don's real love. There goes my Paris shopping plans"
Angela Merkel; "I'd like to machine gun him down right now"
Emmanuel Macron: "Oh God No ! What a despicable creature. I would like to spit ontop of his head"
Donald Trump; "Oh goodness, I've waited so long to see you, my love, my financier" .
Here's the photo;
A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, your thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you have learned. It's your own page on Connecting Singles that you can update on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. You can write about an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with Connecting Singles members. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about members you have met here. Please be sure to read the blog rules before posting.
Would YOU like to post a blog on Connecting Singles? Have you written blogs that you'd like to share with other members? Posting your blogs shows your skill and creativity and helps members get to know you better. Your blog will appear on the Connecting Singles Blogs page and also in a link on your profile page. Click here to post a blog »