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The Latest Trump Scandal ?
In response to: Satire from The Borowitz Report
Public Demands Investigation of Why F.B.I. Infiltrators in Trump Campaign Failed to Prevent Him from Being Elected
By Andy Borowitz
10:19 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Millions of Americans are demanding an investigation into why, if F.B.I. operatives
managed to infiltrate the 2016 Trump campaign, they utterly failed to prevent a nightmarish despot from being elected.
In interviews across the country, Americans expressed dismay and, in some cases, despair at the news that F.B.I. infiltrators
might have had a golden opportunity to prevent the nation’s current unspeakable nightmare from unfolding but did not get the job done.
“The thought of F.B.I. infiltrators being inside the Trump campaign but not sabotaging it is, in a word, devastating,”
Carol Foyler, of Akron, Ohio, said. “If it turns out to be true, I will totally lose my faith in F.B.I. infiltrators.”
Harland Dorrinson, of St. Petersburg, Florida, agreed. “If F.B.I. infiltrators were in a position to derail the most heinous threat to democracy
in American history but didn’t succeed for some reason, that would be bigger than Watergate,” he said.
Tracy Klugian, of Denver, Colorado, said that a “full and exhaustive investigation” is needed to “determine why
our system of F.B.I. infiltrators preventing a horrific proto-fascist menace from taking office somehow broke down.”
“We need to find out what went wrong and fix it before the 2020 election,” he said. “I won’t be able to sleep at night
until I know that F.B.I. operatives are infiltrating Trump’s reëlection campaign and irreparably crippling it.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com
Public Demands Investigation of Why F.B.I. Infiltrators in Trump Campaign Failed to Prevent Him from Being Elected
By Andy Borowitz
10:19 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Millions of Americans are demanding an investigation into why, if F.B.I. operatives
managed to infiltrate the 2016 Trump campaign, they utterly failed to prevent a nightmarish despot from being elected.
In interviews across the country, Americans expressed dismay and, in some cases, despair at the news that F.B.I. infiltrators
might have had a golden opportunity to prevent the nation’s current unspeakable nightmare from unfolding but did not get the job done.
“The thought of F.B.I. infiltrators being inside the Trump campaign but not sabotaging it is, in a word, devastating,”
Carol Foyler, of Akron, Ohio, said. “If it turns out to be true, I will totally lose my faith in F.B.I. infiltrators.”
Harland Dorrinson, of St. Petersburg, Florida, agreed. “If F.B.I. infiltrators were in a position to derail the most heinous threat to democracy
in American history but didn’t succeed for some reason, that would be bigger than Watergate,” he said.
Tracy Klugian, of Denver, Colorado, said that a “full and exhaustive investigation” is needed to “determine why
our system of F.B.I. infiltrators preventing a horrific proto-fascist menace from taking office somehow broke down.”
“We need to find out what went wrong and fix it before the 2020 election,” he said. “I won’t be able to sleep at night
until I know that F.B.I. operatives are infiltrating Trump’s reëlection campaign and irreparably crippling it.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com
One does ponder whether the mantra that ANYONE can be elected president,
is stringent enough of a criteria.
Passing a mental sanity test, a polygraph test, and a criminal record search should all be minimal.
Clearly none were done before the last US presidential election.
AN IRISH woman who married the ghost of a 300-year-old pirate....
Things must be getting a bit tough for our sweet little Irish Girls........
Story from the Irish Post:
AN IRISH woman who married the ghost of a 300-year-old pirate claims the couple have split up.
Amanda Teague, 46, from Drogheda, Co. Louth, married the Haitian pirate named Jack earlier this year.
The wedding to her ‘soulmate’ took place on board a boat in international waters off the Irish coast.
However the Irish Mirror reports the couple have called it a day after less than a year.
WARNING
Taking to social media, Amanda said: “So I feel it’s time to let everyone know that my marriage is over.
“I will explain all in due course but for now all I want to say is be VERY careful when dabbling in spirituality, it’s not something to mess with.”
The split is another blow for Jack, after he was purportedly executed for thieving on the high seas in the 1700s.
Pirates of the Caribbean fan Amanda previously told The Irish Post how she spent £4,000 to look like Captain Jack Sparrow, Johnny Depp’s character in the film.
......
FOOTNOTE: No doubt we will be seeing her on CS shortly, possibly under the profile name of 'SparrowFart' ...
Looking for a man 99 - 300 ...
Must be naughtycle and have a jolly roger
......
Story from the Irish Post:
AN IRISH woman who married the ghost of a 300-year-old pirate claims the couple have split up.
Amanda Teague, 46, from Drogheda, Co. Louth, married the Haitian pirate named Jack earlier this year.
The wedding to her ‘soulmate’ took place on board a boat in international waters off the Irish coast.
However the Irish Mirror reports the couple have called it a day after less than a year.
WARNING
Taking to social media, Amanda said: “So I feel it’s time to let everyone know that my marriage is over.
“I will explain all in due course but for now all I want to say is be VERY careful when dabbling in spirituality, it’s not something to mess with.”
The split is another blow for Jack, after he was purportedly executed for thieving on the high seas in the 1700s.
Pirates of the Caribbean fan Amanda previously told The Irish Post how she spent £4,000 to look like Captain Jack Sparrow, Johnny Depp’s character in the film.
......
FOOTNOTE: No doubt we will be seeing her on CS shortly, possibly under the profile name of 'SparrowFart' ...
Looking for a man 99 - 300 ...
Must be naughtycle and have a jolly roger
......
Trump gives advice to government workers not receiving paychecks.
And as a bonus, hot off The New Yorker today;
In response to:
Forever
By Andy Borowitz
10:57 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a bold initiative aimed at ending the shutdown, congressional Democrats on Thursday agreed to fund a border wall and reopen the government if Donald Trump leaves the country forever.
Calling the deal “a huge win for America,” the Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, said that Trump would get the wall he wanted plus the opportunity to do something “incredibly patriotic” for his country.
Pelosi brushed aside criticism of the offer’s 5.7-billion-dollar price tag, telling reporters, “When you consider what we are getting in return, nine trillion dollars would be a bargain.”
But, even as Pelosi touted the offer, some details remained unresolved, such as finding a country willing to accept Trump.
Although Russia has a practice of providing country houses to former leaders such as Nikita Khrushchev and Boris Yeltsin, it is unclear whether Trump’s two years of service to the Kremlin qualify him for such accommodations.
The White House offered no official response to the Democrats’ offer, but Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani gave it a full-throated endorsement during an appearance on CNN.
“He should absolutely take this deal,” Giuliani said. “I mean, if he stays in the country, he’s probably going to prison.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
Forever
By Andy Borowitz
10:57 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a bold initiative aimed at ending the shutdown, congressional Democrats on Thursday agreed to fund a border wall and reopen the government if Donald Trump leaves the country forever.
Calling the deal “a huge win for America,” the Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, said that Trump would get the wall he wanted plus the opportunity to do something “incredibly patriotic” for his country.
Pelosi brushed aside criticism of the offer’s 5.7-billion-dollar price tag, telling reporters, “When you consider what we are getting in return, nine trillion dollars would be a bargain.”
But, even as Pelosi touted the offer, some details remained unresolved, such as finding a country willing to accept Trump.
Although Russia has a practice of providing country houses to former leaders such as Nikita Khrushchev and Boris Yeltsin, it is unclear whether Trump’s two years of service to the Kremlin qualify him for such accommodations.
The White House offered no official response to the Democrats’ offer, but Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani gave it a full-throated endorsement during an appearance on CNN.
“He should absolutely take this deal,” Giuliani said. “I mean, if he stays in the country, he’s probably going to prison.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
This satire does give me an idea. Perhaps we should start a GoFundMe page to take donations
to have Trump resign the presidency. I mean, it will probably happen anyway, after the impeachment
happens. But, perhaps we can get Trump's resignation much sooner, if Trump can see that money waiting for him to resign.
Indeed, perhaps that guy who started the GoFundMe page to build the wall went about it the wrong way. Instead, he should have just asked for $1 from everyone who thinks Trump is an idiot.
That wall could have been paid for by now.
online now!
Jan. 21 - National Hugging Day!
I clicked the Google birthday candles doodle & discovered that Jan. 21 is (among other things) the 33rd Annual National Hugging Day 
in Murka and several other countries.
Who knew
It's unclear which countries recognize the day, so check your local customs (and laws
) before running out & hugging everyone you meet.
Making it INTERnational Hugging Day would simplify things
....
in Murka and several other countries.Who knew
It's unclear which countries recognize the day, so check your local customs (and laws
) before running out & hugging everyone you meet.Making it INTERnational Hugging Day would simplify things
....
I'm not loving it.
"Geez ! What the heck did the losing team get ?"
................................................................................................................................................................
online now!
lol
Shortly after take-off aboard an Air Canada flight from St. John's to Boston, the head flight attendant nervously said, "I don't know how this happened but we have 103 passengers on board and unfortunately we received only 40 dinners. I truly apologize for this mistake and
inconvenience." While the passengers muttered among themselves, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that
someone else can eat will receive free and unlimited drinks for the duration of the flight."
Her next announcement came about 2 hours
later. "If anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners available."
inconvenience." While the passengers muttered among themselves, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that
someone else can eat will receive free and unlimited drinks for the duration of the flight."
Her next announcement came about 2 hours
later. "If anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners available."
Scottish Obituary
A Scottish woman goes to the local newspaper office to see that the Obituary for her recently deceased husband is published.
The Editor informs her that there is a charge of $1 per word.
She pauses, reflects, and then she says, "Well then, let it read: "Fred Brown died."
Amused at the Woman's thrift, the Editor tells her that there is a seven-word minimum for all Obituaries.
She thinks it over and in a few seconds says, In that case, let it read:
Fred Brown Died ... golf clubs For Sale!!!
The Editor informs her that there is a charge of $1 per word.
She pauses, reflects, and then she says, "Well then, let it read: "Fred Brown died."
Amused at the Woman's thrift, the Editor tells her that there is a seven-word minimum for all Obituaries.
She thinks it over and in a few seconds says, In that case, let it read:
Fred Brown Died ... golf clubs For Sale!!!
A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, your thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you have learned. It's your own page on Connecting Singles that you can update on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. You can write about an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with Connecting Singles members. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about members you have met here. Please be sure to read the blog rules before posting.
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