Last Commented Comedy Blogs (1,864)

Happy Birthday To Lou & Wen!
Happy Birthday To Lou & You!
Happy Birthday To Lou-OOOO & Wen-eNNN!



Grab A High Life & Sing Along, Y'all!

Lou!
Wen!

It'll run on either hydrogen, gasoline or E85.

I had to go back to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work.

The service technician explained that the radio was voice-activated.

The technician said to the radio, 'Play Nelson'.

The radio replied, 'Ricky or Willie?'

'Willie!', he continued, and 'On The Road Again' came from the speakers.

Then he said, 'Ray Charles!', and in an instant ' Georgia On My Mind' replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, 'Play Beethoven', I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, play 'Beatles', I'd get one of their awesome songs.

Well, yesterday, some old lady ran a red light and nearly smashed into my new truck, but luckily I swerved in time to avoid her.

I yelled, 'You Crazy b*tch!'

Immediately the radio responded with, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, the Democratic Leader and former speaker of the House ....Nancy Pelosi'.

I love this truck!!

it's the one where most recent blogs appear on top and not the last commented one...?
It's kinda strange reading multiple blogs form one blogger...boring actually

and stale blogs keep appearing on top is also not cool, specially if they are nasty topic that most of us can't relate on

resurrecting old classic blogs seems more fun than blogs nowadays ...

just saying hi and wondering if anyone here got laid recently reading the blogs here, I doubt it

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse approaches the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You're the father of twins.” “That's odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!” A nurse then yells the second man, “Congratulations! You're the father of triplets!” “That's weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!” A nurse goes up to the third man saying, “Congratulations! You're the father of quadruplets." “That's strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!” The last man begins groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What's wrong?” the others ask. “I work for 7 Up!”

Here's Trevor Noah

Here is the explanation by 'Melania' herself.



So, there you have it.

The way to sell to a man is to mark the product as exclusive and double the price.

The way to sell to a woman is to say she can have two for the price of one.

This is the main reason female robot companions have been the focus of the developers - simpler demands, and a higher return on investment.

The male would have to be far more complex, AND cheap enough to BOGOF (buy one get one free) (what a birthday present for a friend, eh?) Still, the male robot is seen as a programming challenge, research has been ongoing, and I was fortunate enough to be given a prototype to put through its paces. My review follows.

Blessed are those that can give without remembering, and take without forgetting.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.'

The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for

him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill , the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you ' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill , the barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there

were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

As Mark Twain said:

BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!

If you don't forward this you have no sense of humor.

Nothing bad will happen, however, you must live with yourself knowing that laughter is not in your future

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it
becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as
when they were younger.

When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive,
and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Lorraine to get
a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and
for the health benefits that we needed.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show
her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she
gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost
always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts
dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and
just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
She had to take a break, when she was only half-finished mowing the
front lawn I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man... I tell her to
fix herself a nice big cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just
sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may
as well make one for me too.




EDITOR'S NOTE:

Frank died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum.
The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch
Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5
inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby.
His wife Lorraine was arrested and charged with murder...
The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty,
accepting her defense that Frank, somehow without looking, accidentally
sat down on his golf club.

A hole in one, so to speak.

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