Last Commented Comedy Blogs (1,864)

To an even happier Thanksgiving;..................



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The dysfunction of one's behaviour can pollute even the most lucid and formidable mind.

Why is that?

Is it because sensationalized and most intriguing experience we encounter is the antidote to boredom?

Our placid and yet dull existence is rippled by guilt.

Excruciating and painful, endearing and yet disturbing what experience has given us in our fragile attempt to tame love.

In the end, was it really better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

Good morning everyone and thanks for all your reads, or comments, opinions if any.

I have found out that our moods in the blog land had been dominated by bickering, intrigue and guilt driven discussions, maybe I thought how can it get any worse if I'd just dump more fun into the sizzle?

Let's have fun, shall we?

I've seen so many serious blogs lately (mine included) and decided it's time for a bit of fun.

I'm a big fan of parodies, in particular music parodies. It's not easy to put together humor and still make the lyrics make sense (well sometimes they doesn't ).

I'm sharing some of my favorites. I hope you like.

Feel free to add yours.




As a warm-up: Foil by "Weird All" Yankovic (Parody of "Royals" by Lorde)

I taught my daughter many of the same. Mums, eh?

Anatomy - Don't come running to me when you break both legs

Religion - you'd better pray that comes out the carpet

Logic - because I said so, that's why

Irony - keep crying and I will give you something to cry about

Precision - I could beat you to within an inch of your life

Wisdom - you'll understand when you get to my age

Justice - if there is any in the world your kids will turn out just like you

The ups and downs of the Stock Market frightened a lot of small investors. One guy went to his financial adviser at the bank and asked if he were worried.
His adviser replied, "Well, let me put it this way, I sleep like a baby."
The man was amazed and exclaimed, "Really? Even with all the market fluctuations?"
Answered the adviser, "Yes. I sleep for a couple of hours, then wake up and cry for a couple of hours."

Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section. It was great.

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking.

And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch.

And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise.

God looked down and saw that it was good.

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it's God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

There are nine (9) Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older:
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8 Life is sexually transmitted.

#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5 Give a person a fish and you feed him/her for a day.. Teach a person to use the Internet and he/she won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird . . Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.

Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a shrink in search of a solution.
"Just put yourself in my hands for a few months", said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week, and we should be able to get rid of those fears." "How much do you charge?" I asked.
"Eighty dollars per visit", replied the doctor.
"I'll sleep on it,” I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street.
"Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?", he asked.
"Well, eighty bucks a visit, three times a week is almost a $1000 a month and my bartender cured me for $10.00."
"Is that so?" the doctor said, with a bit of an attitude. "And just how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now."

We are always hearing about men who send inappropriate pictures and messages to women. Women rarely do that though. I wish women would send me inappropriate pictures and messages

I finally figured out how to get a 10 inch d*ck.

I just gotta fold it in half :)