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People say the word 'like' too often in a sentence and sometimes it's followed by 'you know'
Expect 'an-duh' or uhh... to be part of that too. People do this... like all the time... you know?

I listen to local radio on the way to work (WBGG) and the morning talk show announcer is a seasoned professional. He's been doing this kind of work at least 20 years. If I had a wish, it would be to have someone sit him down and make him listen to his broadcasts. You're being evaluated and every stammer, stutter, saying like more than 2 times in a sentence will cost you. It's a buck a word buddy. Like, you need to straighten up... you know?

This is a dinkum Australian love poem, and if it don't bring a lump to your throat, and have you rushing to the Strine men listed here on CS, you're one fussy old cow is all I can say.


Of course I love ya darlin'
You're a bloody top-notch bird
And when I say you're gorgeous
I mean every single word

So ya bum is on the big side
I don't mind a bit of flab
It means that when I'm ready
There's somethin' there to grab

So your belly isn't flat no more
I tell ya, I don't care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get my arms round there

No Sheila who’s your age
Has such perky breasts
They just gave in to gravity
But I know ya did ya best

I'm tellin' ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think it’s very sexy
That you've got dimples on ya thighs

I swear on me Nanna's grave now
The moment that we met
I thought you was as good as
I was ever gonna get

No matter what you look like
I'll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the cricket’s on
And fetch me another beer!

Brought a lump to my throat, it did. Here's your beer, pet.

Women often have great expectations for what to do on a first date. Stated in many profiles I've seen, they want those romantic walks along the ocean. Guys, be wary of such requests, especially if the women lives in a city like Albuquerque, New Mexico or Denver, Colorado. You know, places that are more than a days drive from an ocean!



Before you get started... think first before contacting her. If she made the first move by contacting you... think first before replying.

Know what you could be getting into right from the start.

This has been my PSA (Public Service Announcement) for the month of August.



Thanks for reading my blog!

...there's still fire in the furnace! Check out former president Bill Clinton, getting an eyeful at the Aretha Franklin funeral/life celebration:

Bubba's happy response is in evidence in this image, below:


Boys will be boys...

Add your own favorites, if you like.













Have a bearable Monday. however you spend it.

If you don't care to follow links, the text is below but the pics and gifs on her original blog are hilarious



When you write books, people are gonna want to ask you stuff. It is very important that you LIE when answering these questions. Lie through your teeth and don’t ever let them find out the truth. As a helpful resource, Evie Gaughan put together a mock interview, a mockterview if you will, to guide you through it.

Do you have a writing routine?
Yes. I like to see how long I can spend not writing before the guilt kicks in. Then I simply distract myself with the kind of housework I wouldn’t normally do if my life depended on it… like cleaning the oven, descaling the kettle, washing my make-up brushes or, worst of all, clearing out THE DRAWER OF NO RETURN.

Where do you get your ideas from?
Right at the back of THE DRAWER OF NO RETURN.

So can you tell us what your new book is about? (best pic of all - Biff )
Oh. Holy. Jesus.

What’s your favourite part about writing?
The ‘not writing’ part.

What do you tend to wear when writing?
Um, Chanel No.5? And the elasticated pants I’ve been threatening to throw out for two years.

Who are your favourite authors?
Woah, hey, I’m not here to promote other peoples’ work!

How do you handle bad reviews?
Very well actually. I’m a big believer in karma. But just in case karma is busy, I simply fashion a home-made punching bag with the offender’s avatar taped on the front and take care of business myself.

What can readers expect from you in the future?
Bitter disappointment? Long periods of idleness? It’s hard to say.

Did you always want to be a writer?
Yes, but then I’d never written anything, so I didn’t know any better. Reading books and thinking you want to be a writer is like watching the winter olympics and thinking you want to be an ice-skater… Then you realise how unbelievably slippy ice is! (It’s like, really slippy).

Any advice for budding authors?
Yes. RUN!

A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car.
Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them was hurt.

After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said; "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest ofour days."

The man replied," I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!"

The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of 75 year old scotch didn't break. Surely God meant for us to drink this vintage delicacy and celebrate our good fortune." Thenshe handed the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opened it, drank half the bottle and then handed it back to the woman. The woman took the bottle, immediately put the cap back on, and handed it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."


Some years ago Adam ate the apple.
Men will never learn!

Omg, this is Too Funny!! ?? ?? ??

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament.
Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.
Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR.
Who would know if he touched them?
He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.
What a nice feeling, he thought. Men restrooms don't have nice things like this.
Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.
When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.
When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.
Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.
"What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.
"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your p*nis is under your pillow."
"MEN NEVER LISTEN"

Hahaha! ??